Eight Reasons People Can’t Leave Abusive Relationships
People aspire to have good relationships with their significant others. And although what makes a good relationship could be learned and cultivated, not every relationship becomes a dream relationship or meets their ideal perfection, or delivers on all desired expectations.
Some relationships become great while others become a nightmare. The latter can be subject to many fits of abuse, some of which may be fatal. But the most striking thing is the fact that some partners are unable to leave the relationship when it gets abusive. They hate being abused, they want a change, they long for safety and freedom, yet are unable to break free.
This article aims to uncover the reasons that make it hard for the victims of abusive relationships, be it male or female, to leave the relationships. It discusses the eight reasons people can’t leave abusive relationships while informing and equipping the reader at the same time. That being said, the number one reason is:
1. When the victim has a history of parental abuse.
This implies that either the father or mother was abusing them when they were young. The abuse could even be coming from a guardian or those they look up to as role models in their lives. When the victims of abusive relationships have any such history, it really goes deeper into the subconscious and leaves negative psychological impacts in the lives of victims that cannot be erased by mere desires or wishes.
The parental background should be seen as a place of safety, a safe haven, a place to fall back or lean on during crisis and if not, you’ve got to fend for yourself.
The experiences of parental abuse could create a faulty defense mechanism for the victims to cope and accept further abusive relationships as the norm. Consequently, this kills the desire to break free from abusive relationships.
2. When the partner is a pimp.
It’s likely that a victim of an abusive relationship may not find it easy to break free if the abuser is a pimp.
A pimp can be male or female. As a pimp, the abusers arrange for clients for their victims and take a portion of the payment made for the services that the victims offer. These services could be sexually related activities to escorts and massage services. Because the pimps depend on the victims for their livelihoods, they would do all to maintain the status quo and keep their victims enslaved.
In such a situation, the abusers control what happens to the victims. If they are prostitutes, he or she monitors their lives and limits their access to many things that could make them break free.
Therefore, their victims would find it hard to leave whatever relationship they already have established with the abusive partners.
3. When the abuser is a drug addict.
An abuser who suffers from drug addiction, by virtue of the kind of drug he or she is addicted to, may not fully be mentally sound at all times. This implies that their behavior is not necessarily guaranteed to be consistent with the way they treat and deal with others including their victims.
As a drug-dependent person, the desire and provision for drugs would always be a priority for other things to be in place. And if they cannot afford it when they need it, they can abuse the rights of their partners to get it if they could. Even if they get it, there would still be anomalies in the way that they comport themselves. An abuser who’s not in their right frame of mind keeps abusing their victims.
4. When the victim is a drug addict.
In some cases of abuse in a relationship, the victims are addicted to certain drugs and cannot help themselves break free from their perpetrators. At times, both the victims and their perpetrators are into drugs, with their victims totally dependent on the abusers for their survival. In such situations, the perpetrators control and manipulate things, and make it seem absolutely difficult for them to leave their relationships.
5. When the victim is aging.
Some people are generally mellowed with age. Their perception of their fears changes with it. In addition, the tiredness that comes with aging can certainly alter their behavior and views about certain conditions and situations. Consequently, they would resist anything that can make them start life all over again at an old age. With this in mind, some victims of relationship abuse think further than their immediate pains.
They consider what life would be like if left all alone at an age one doesn’t have much to hope for, be it health-wise or life longevity itself. If they remember where, when, and how they started life, to have a repeat because of abuse might not be a welcoming expectation for them. They would prefer to stay and endure than leave an abusive relationship
6. When the victim is an alcoholic.
Some victims of abusive relationships turn to find comfort from their malaise by drinking too much liquor or alcoholic beverages. They do and believe that to be their temporary escape from the abusers but that does not change anything for good other than just getting drunk and sleeping off. When your eyes clear, you have to still face your reality. With such a mentality and attitude, they perpetually stay in the relationship no matter how abusive it is.
7. When the abuser always asks for forgiveness.
One clear reason people get stuck in abusive relationships is that the abusers keep apologizing and asking for forgiveness each time they abuse their victims, but they never really stop abusing them. The phrase, “I’m sorry”, spoken to the heart of the victims placates them to refrain from any reprisal actions. Consequently, the victims would stay hopeful that a change is on its way but that change hardly comes to reality.
8. When there’s a threat to their lives.
There are situations where the lives of victims of abusive relationships are threatened if they dare break free. The abusers would be threatening to kill them if they seek their freedom or if they leave the relationship. And in some cases, these are not empty threats. Some victims have been killed just because they sought their way out of abusive relationships. And this fear keeps some genuine victims stuck in abusive relationships. Nevertheless, it’s your right to leave if you are in one. Do not fear the threats but seek assistance from the appropriate authorities to help you get your freedom.
To recap what we have said above, the eight reasons people can’t leave abusive relationships are 1. When the victim has a history of parental abuse. 2. When The partner is a pimp. 3. When the abuser is a drug addict. 4. When the victim is a drug addict. 5. When the victim is aging. 6. When the victim is an alcoholic. 7. When the abuser always asks for forgiveness and 8. When there’s a threat to their lives. Do you have some other reasons that we can add to the list? Let’s know your thoughts.