How Spouses Can Be A Blessing To Each Other
Marriage is a beautiful thing. The Lord saw that it was not good for man to be alone, so He gave him a wife (Gen 2:18). Many marriages today are destroyed because the enemy has found out that it is the easiest way to destroy the lives of the coming generation. The home is the foundation and the training ground for men and women that God will use to show his power. So the devil knowing this does everything he can to attack it (Jn 10:10). Each spouse has a role to play and here is how spouses can be a blessing to each other:
1) By praying for each other :
When Christ Jesus was leaving us, He prayed for us and even sent a Helper- The Holy Spirit– to us. (Jn 15,16,17). Likewise, as spouses, we have a duty to pray and intercede for each other on our knees knowing that the battle we fight is not carnal (Eph 6:12). As we pray for and with each other, we strengthen each other as iron sharpens iron so one man sharpens another (Prov 27:17).
If God is enthroned in the lives of each spouse, He will also be enthroned in the marriage and everything will work out to the glory of God. The marriage will also be an example to others around and in this way preach the gospel of Christ. Others will be encouraged to work on their marriages seeing the glory of God in the marriage of the virtuous couple (Matt.5:16).
2) By sincerely Loving each other (1 Cor 13) :
Love, sweet love! It is one of the major reasons why two different individuals decide to become united as one in marriage. It is the driving force that needs to be sustained in the marriage. If two roommates hate each other, there is no way there can be peace or progress. So also it is in marriage. The Bible enjoins men to love their wives and in turn, women should submit to their husbands in everything (Eph 5:22-25).
When we love and submit, we are not only doing our duty but we are fulfilling God’s perfect plan for marriage. True love for each other can only be understood and practiced when we know God for He is love (1 Jn 4:8) and has shown us what true love is by His death on the cross for our sins.
3) By showing care and concern for each other :
If you claim you love me, then show it by your actions (1 Jn 3:18). Most, if not all persons, will love to be treated like this. If you say you love your spouse and you do not ask how they are doing, how they feel, what they want, their opinions on matters, they will feel left out and may just be staying in the marriage out of obligation and not out of love. This may even lead to unfaithfulness if not addressed. Partners should learn to show concern and affection. Whatever happens to one happens to the other for they are one (Gen 2:24).
4) By having each spouse play his/ her own role :
Most problems in marriage come from one partner lacking in one way or the other in his/ her own responsibility. If a man refuses to provide food, shelter, clothing for his family and does not defend his family but leaves it all to his wife, will there be peace in this home? Certainly not! And if a woman spends all her time gossiping and attending social gatherings while she neglects her wifely duties like cooking for her husband and taking care of her children, do we expect peace and love to reign in this home? No!
In fact, the other partner may go out in search of other things to satisfy him/ her which will be detrimental to the family. We all have roles to play as children of God in the body of Christ (1 Cor 12:12). Marriage is not excluded. In fact, it is the first place where it is to be seen and practiced.
5) By practicing faithfulness :
The Bible says we should keep the marriage bed undefiled (Heb 13:4). This is a commandment from God and should be taken very seriously. Partners should love and cherish each other to the point that they would feel guilty and unfair to be unfaithful to their spouse. Also, every promiscuous behavior such as drunkenness, evil company, or even dressing indecently should be refrained from. Being faithful to one’s spouse is good and commendable before God and men and there will surely be a reward for it.
6) By being slow to speak, quick to listen, and slow to become angry (James 1:19) :
The Bible encourages us to be slow to speak, quick to listen, and slow to become angry. First, there should always be a listening ear to hear what the other partner has to say. Then each partner should watch what comes out from his/ her mouth as words are like sharp arrows or could be as honey-sweet to the soul.
They should not be easily angered and should be able to control their temper when they are. They should be quick to forgive and avoid recounting past mistakes of the other partner. They should forgive just as Christ forgave us and even died for us when we did not deserve it. (Eph 4:31-32). See also The 12 Consequences Of Hopping From One Partner To Another.
7) By togetherness (Eccl 4:9-12) :
The word, partner, means someone who is associated with another in a common interest or activity. This means that spouses as partners are in association with each other and must cooperate with each other in order to progress. As spouses, we are united as one and so everything that happens to one happens to the other (Gen 2:24). When making decisions, both partners are to be involved. When we work together, we achieve more in little time compared to being alone (Eccl 4:9). We also fulfill God’s desire for oneness and unity (Jn 17:11,21).
8) By understanding each other :
On a certain day, I was talking to a friend about something and then we started laughing and my friend looked towards the window. Little did we know that our other friend was watching and assumed we were gossiping about her. She has not spoken to us ever since. Just like in this case, misunderstandings are also bound to occur in marriage. Can two walk together unless they agree? (Amos 3:3).
We need to understand each other and bear with each other’s weaknesses so that we will have a successful marriage. (Gal 6:2). It will certainly not be everything that one likes that the other partner will like, so we have to understand each other and try to tolerate each other so that we may fulfill God’s divine plan.
9) By being Honest to each other :
No house with a faulty foundation will stand the test of time (Ps 11:3, Luke 6:47-49). If spouses are to be a source of blessing to each other, then there must be honesty and accountability. The marriage must not be built on lies for that is the devil’s language (Jn 8:44). If spouses are honest with each other, they develop a level of trust in each other and can confide in each other. There will be progress because there is no fear of being lied to or being cheated.
10) By having Respect for each other (Rom 13:7, Rom 12:10) :
For couples to be a blessing to each other, there must be a level of mutual respect for each other and even for the spouse’s immediate family. For example, you cannot say you love me and you insult and degrade my family or you use me as a punching bag. That is not true love. The Bible encourages us to give honor to whom honor is due and esteem others above ourselves (Rom 13:7). If we are keen to do this, our lives will be blessings to our spouses.
To have a healthy marriage, the two spouses must make a conscious decision to make each other happy, backed up by feasible actions on their part to make the marriage work. Above all, let us look at Christ as our role model in the manner that He loved the church and even gave Himself up for her (sacrificial love, John 3:16).
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