The Reason Behind Unprotected Love – The Obsession Of Public Opinion
It kind of sounds like we want to talk about unprotected sex, I mean, the topic! But that’s not the subject at all. The subject that we’re going to talk about is the reason behind unprotected love relationship. And we have particularly focused on the obsession of public opinion as a problem for many in love relationships.
When we mention the obsession of public opinion as a problem with people in relationships, we are saying that they can not protect it because they always want to know what other people say about their spouses, lovers or love interests to make them feel good about their own relationships. If you said that they want public approval for personal issues, you would be correct.
People’s opinions are what these people will allow to influence their decisions concerning a relationship which is supposed to be a personal and private matter. Some relatable examples can be, a man in love with a lady but he wants to know what his friends think about the lady. He may ask questions like these to his friends, “Is she beautiful? How do you like her curves? Is her backside cute? Isn’t she like Beyonce? Does she smell good? Speak well?” They may even go on comparing her physical features to that of what his friends consider cute, and in vogue, without even thinking about her education, character or love involved in the relationship.
In such a relationship, the love which should be a core factor is never prioritized. And the funniest part of the malaise is that whatever his friends conclude might be the idea he would buy and let influence his decisions in that relationship. If his friends criticize her, he would refrain from the relationship irrespective of other great factors.
The Ladies Too
The obsession of public opinion is not limited to men alone, women are also involved in this myopic view of searching for public opinions and approvals. It even goes to the extent of bringing home affairs online or social media seeking from the public what you should do about issues within your bedroom.
No! Do not seek for public opinion or approval of something you like or someone you love. Public opinions are way too many and everyone has an opinion. If your relationship depends on what everyone has to say, ooh, you will destroy yourself and the relationship.
To put it simply, public opinion does not count. It is yours that matters. People’s opinions can take the life out of you. It can take you out of your destined partner, because one man’s like may be another’s dislike. What may please you may not please the other. So be happy with what makes you happy without seeking for what others think about it. Keep your relationship personal and private. You may seek professional counsel but certainly not public opinions.
The Fall Out
I have seen couples fall out of love because of what other people told them about their spouses and personal lives. I have seen relationships suffer because people who weren’t there at the start of the relationship were allowed to negatively influence the relationship of others.
Husbands have left marriages and destroyed relationships just because they suddenly realized that their wives of so many years had smaller butts which they have always appreciated until recently. What happened? They heard from male colleagues that women with big butts are in vogue, and they started distancing their lovers and having affairs with big-butt ladies. They allowed public opinion to deceive them.
Protecting The Trust
Just imagine a lady loves and trusts you with her life. To her, you are everything, and you both are getting along well. At least, she expects you to protect the love she has entrusted you with. But one day you wake up and say, you’re not interested in loving her again. Why? Because people said that she is too old for you, or that her boobs are saggy, after giving birth to your children. You, the husband, believed what you heard instead of protecting your love, relationship, and lover. You went ahead in search of younger-looking girls just to massage your social egos. But this is all wrong as far as the relationship is concerned. You have to protect the trust invested in your relationship by not letting just anything you hear to change the perspective and reason for falling in love in the first place.
When you both love yourselves from your hearts, it doesn’t really matter what others say about whatever. What matters is what you both have to say about your relationship. It’s a personal thing that must be protected from outside intruders. Not everything that happens within a relationship should come out to the public. What’s public is public and what is private remains private. And relationship falls in the latter. It’s a private thing, not the public. It’s “My business” and every other person should stay out of it.
The obsession of public opinion destroys relationships. Protect your love interests. Protect your partner. Protect your relationship. Do not believe and accept just whatever you hear. Do not let divorce set in because of what you heard from outside of the home which is baseless. Do not aspire to love someone because of the praises people say of him or her. Let your love come from within you and above all: protect it from external negative influence.
Tell us, has your relationship been marred, bruised, and affected by what you heard, whether truth or baseless? And how did you react when someone told you something negative about the one you love?
Also read the reasons people go after the love they can’t protect
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Jessie your experience is a good picture of what the article exposes. Partners coming to conclusion because of what they heard or even wrongly perceived without hearing from the real source. Thankfully, yours was prevented. I am glad for you both and gladder that you have shared your experience to help others maintain their relationships too. Thanks so much, Jessie. And God bless you for being honest.
Thank you for the beautiful post! I loved the way this was written because of the colorful language. I can say that my wife and me almost broke up before we got married. I was going to a College in Ohio and she was going to one in Kentucky. She heard I was cheating on her with a girl I was friends with at the University I was going to. She was told a man and woman can’t have a close relationship without being together. This is before my wife understood the importance of Catholicism in my life and in the lives of nearly all the students at the University I went to. She got to visit the University and meet the girl that I was friends with, and she no longer was worried about it.
You’re welcome, man! And oh, wow, Para! Your relationship is a thing to envy, you know! The decision taken by both of you is superb. I love that, you know! You guys really know how to manage your home affairs well. Kudos guys!! In one word, CONTINUE. Thank you for sharing such an encouraging experience.
Thank you, Vera, for this exposition, so many marriages have been charted and broken because they were formed on wrong public opinions, husbands and wife are fed with wrong information’s about their spouse.
Let me share with you what I and my wife decided when we got engaged; we agreed that whatever happened between us will die between us. Married over eleven years, we have not one day shared our affairs with anybody. Even when she is angry, I have learned to keep my calm and when I am she does the same.
After some while, we get talking about it and resolve our issues. We have learned to keep lizards from our walls.
“Besides God, your soulmate is the most important person in your life.” this cannot be more ‘truer’ JR Bible. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for this observation. And I agree with the sentiment that relationships should be private, and kept out of the public sector. What strikes me as odd is the fact that you would allow your friends to influence your decisions in the first place. Are those people looking out for your best interests? Besides God, your soulmate is the most important person in your life.
You’re welcome, Kylie. yes, that’s the main reason for the article—for people to maintain their relationship. I must say that your experience was a touchy one indeed. I truly hope that you’ve healed from it all. But the most important part is what you learned from it all. Yes, some people can do all to separate lovers, but there are still good friends, the supportive ones, the ones that respect the relationship of others. I pray God to completely heal your heart from the past and help perfect your relationship. Thanks for sharing such a heartfelt, thought-provoking experience.
Verra’s great post! Very true what you write here. That the relationship must be protected. Don’t mind what others say. Because not necessarily, what they say is true. There are many people out there, jealous of what we have. And because of that, they want to destroy us.
Once when I was still working, I was invited to a party by a group of office people. And there, I was force-fed continuously and didn’t stop. What happened next was that I was drunk, and I didn’t go home. The next morning, I found myself (still fully clothed), in a hotel room, and no one was there. The next thing I did was check my cellphone, and I found almost 50 missed calls from my husband.
After that, as soon as I called back and said that I was fine. 1 hour later I was at home, and returned to my usual activities.
However, the worst part (after 3/4 months) is when someone sends a nude photo of mine and still having sex with a man to my husband. Because of that, he was very angry, and could not accept my reasons. But he did not say a matter of separation or divorce. However, he left home.
Some time after that, we met at a restaurant, where he ate with my child. And there I cried and asked him to go home. Thank God, he went home 2 months after that.
It’s not easy to make others believe in us again. However, believe that there are many people out there who will do anything to make us fall apart.
Thank you for your writing Verra! Hopefully through this article, many people can maintain their relationship strongly and continue to trust one another especially our spouse
Hi Romero, unfortunately, these people do exist. I can understand your experience could be different from that of others, of course, we’re all different, but they do have these bad seeds around who call themselves friends. Truly speaking, just as you have said, friends should support and respect your relationship. Period. I like the way you protect your relationship. Shut the outside voice completely, because it’s YOU & HER! Thanks for sharing and passing by!
I’ll be honest, as I started to read through I was wondering as to whether these people actually existed. Truth be told, they do and although ‘each to the their own’ might stand true, for me they barely register as real people. I could understand it better if we were talking about the naive and those swayed by peer pressure.
Adults, already in a long term relationship, no. I have no interest in any ones opinion when it comes to my spouse. It’s me and her, irrespective of any one else viewpoint. Although we are individuals we are more than that when it comes to our relationship. We are more as a couple and we have each other to thank for that, not some worthless words from someone who doesn’t have the decency, or respect, to know that if they were truly their friend, they would just be happy for their love and happiness.
Thanks MrBiizy. Hearing from our spouses could help solve, and avoid a lot of issues. I like your decision to stop hearing from outside sources to decide inside-relationship matters. I wish you all the best. Again, thanks for contributing.
This is one of the best posts regarding relationships and marriages ever! I have seen external opinions destroy wonderful relationships and peaceful marriages. As a result, I have decided a long time ago to quit that habit of asking for opinions regarding my relationship. Well, I feel it is not a bad idea to get some particular information about a lady especially if you’re just seeing her and you are interested in her. But it’s not a nice idea to make your decision based on people’s opinions; it is always a great idea to hear from her too. Many couples don’t hear our spouses, they take decisions based on what they hear outside. This is not what I plan to do.
Thanks for sharing this amazing piece.