7 WAYS TO WIN BACK A CHEATING SPOUSE
Faithfulness in marriage is a very crucial cornerstone. God’s intention for this institution was born out of love for humanity. God designed marriage for procreation, companionship, and redemption (Genesis 2:18-24, Ephesians 5:31-32). However, the devil understands that if he can tamper with all/any marriage(s), society at large will be in jeopardy. It usually feels like a devastating betrayal when one partner stays in the marriage.
A few years ago, I had a counseling session with a man whose wife cheated on him. To him, the wife comes from a smaller part of a particular tribe that cheats, so it isn’t a surprise to him. He wants to quit the relationship. He was tired of pleading with his wife to stop embarrassing him with different men, as neighbors were already thinking she was paying him back in his coin. It was a challenging moment for him.
As a believer, wanting your marriage to work despite your spouse’s hurtful behavior begins with you, and it is born out of Christ’s love and your love for God. In this article, you will see seven solid ways I was guided by the Holy Spirit to help avoid divorce in a man’s home. Today, both are living happily and committed to each other.
Below are seven ways you can win back your cheating spouse:
1. Devotion and Prayer
2. Personal Growth and Self-Reflection
3. Heart-to-Heart Communication
4. Seek Counsel
5. Forgiveness and Grace
6. Rebuild Trust and Establish Healthy Boundaries
7. Renew your Commitment
1) Devotion And Prayer
As believers, prayer is the air we breathe; we stand no chance without prayer. Begin with prayer, because praying over everything is a scriptural instruction. Invite the Holy Spirit to be your guide as you pour out your mind to God in prayer, seeking guidance. Devote quality time to pray for your home always and ask for strength, wisdom, and divine intervention. Prayer helps you connect with God easily and on a deeper level. It gives you the wisdom to navigate the complexities of this particular challenging situation. You can never go wrong when you pray. Pray without ceasing; it helps your faith in God stand firm (1 Thessalonians 5:16-17).
2) Personal Growth And Self-Reflection
As hurtful and devastating as it feels to have a cheating spouse, there is a need to also devote your time to reflecting on your actions and behaviors. Identify those areas where you have gone wrong and need to grow and improve as a spouse as well. Seek forgiveness for any wrong actions you may have committed against your spouse, and strive for personal growth so that you can also be a good spouse to your partner.
Self-reflection helps you identify areas for improvement and helps you adjust to become a better person. As you desire your spouse’s faithfulness, your partner also expects certain things from you. Therefore, reflect on them, strive for personal growth, and be a better spouse to your partner even though you are hurting, and this marks the beginning of a peaceful home. By acknowledging your shortcomings, you are demonstrating humility, and a willingness to change for the better, which will in turn make your home a beautiful place (Colossians 3:12).
3) Heart-To-Heart Communication
You will agree with me that communication is key in any relationship, and it helps build trust between couples. Sit your spouse down and share your feelings and what you feel bad about him or her. Learn to also actively listen to your spouse and understand your partner’s perspective without being judgmental or putting blame on them. Create a safe and supportive environment for dialogue by actively listening to your spouse’s perspective. It will amaze you that a lack of effective communication also results in infidelity. Therefore, communicate with your spouse because this will help you gain insight into each other’s feelings and needs, which will in turn lead to understanding and reconciliation (Proverbs 18:13, James 1:19).
4) Seek Counsel
It takes a desire for change to seek help in a particular situation. To win over your cheating spouse, seek Professional Christian counseling from a trained therapist who aligns with your faith. Seeking counsel from ungodly friends will further pull you and your spouse apart. However, getting help from professional Christian counselors will provide you with invaluable support, guidance, and the necessary tools you need to navigate the complexities of infidelity and the restoration of your home (Proverbs 12:15,15:22,24:6).
5) Forgiveness And Grace
We are all saved by grace. Forgiveness lies at the heart of the Christian faith. As a human, you are not perfect, you have also sinned in diverse ways until the grace of God found you and pulled you out. Therefore, embrace the grace and mercy of Christ and extend forgiveness to your spouse. Several homes have broken because either of the spouses refuses to forgive the other and finds it very difficult to let go of the hurt. Are you still hurting? Are you aware the devil is rejoicing? You can choose to let go of the negative emotions that can weigh you down, even though you find it difficult to forget them. Extend forgiveness to your spouse, by so doing, you are opening the door to healing and restoration in your marriage and allowing God’s grace to work in you and your heart (Matthew 6:14-15).
6) Rebuild Trust And Establish Healthy Boundaries
Rebuilding trust doesn’t happen immediately; it requires patience and consistency. As you demonstrate trustworthiness through transparency, accountability, and honesty, ensure your spouse is encouraged to do the same. To have a fulfilling relationship, trust must be one of the foundations you lay.
Also, boundaries are very essential for safeguarding your emotional well-being and marriage. Therefore, establish a healthy boundary with your spouse to protect yourself and your spouse. Understand what your spouse wants and doesn’t want, communicate your expectations, and respect each other’s boundaries. By so doing, you will successfully prevent the recurrence of harmful behaviors, and this will in turn bond you both in love and oneness (Proverbs 31:10-11).
7) Renew Your Commitment
Commitment renewal is essential at this level. You both need to reflect on your wedding vows and recommit to honoring them with renewed dedication, love, and faithfulness. Be intentional about your marriage and choose to make it a priority each day. Recommit to your marriage and spouse; this reflects a powerful act of love and faithfulness. It helps you abide by your vows, the ones you made before God. By choosing to recommit and work on your marriage, you both will experience renewed love, joy, and fulfillment in your relationship (1 Corinthians 16:14, Colossians 3:14-17).
In conclusion, winning back a cheating spouse is a highly demanding task, it is a journey filled with challenges and emotions. However, with the help of God, faith in Him, and His unconditional love, healing and restoration are possible. Therefore, rest on His love and lean on His wisdom, grace, and strength as you go through this difficult situation (Proverbs 3:5, 1 Peter 5:7). Always remember that, with God’s help, all things are possible (Matthew 19:26). Have total trust in Him, and allow His love to be your guide and help you through that journey of reconciliation and renewal, in your marriage.
I hope you find this article helpful. If you do, let’s hear from you in the comment section.
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