Why obedience? Why must we obey our parents? Could it be that obedience is some age-old formula meant to trap us into surrendering control? If you are like me, these questions must have crossed your mind. Maybe you, on the one side, are drained of always obeying. You wonder: is there any need for it? Or if you fall into the other category, you may wonder why you need to submit to your parents when you can be independent. Well, I pray that this piece will be enlightening.
First off, let us look closely at the meaning of obedience.
Obedience is the quality of being obedient. To be obedient means to be willing to comply with the commands, orders, or instructions of those in authority. I love the word, “willing.” This is because true obedience is from the heart. It should not be coerced. Rather, it should be a voluntary action based on the trust and veneration one has for another.
If we look closely at Ephesians 6:1-3, we can see that the command to obey our parents closely follows the command to honor them. So obedience is an act of honor. And yeah, this is exactly what God will have us do. But what if it gets hard? What if our parents seem undeserving? Is there really any reason to keep at it? Let us find out!
Reasons Why You Should Obey Your Parents
1. It shows that you love, respect, and fear God
Hey, you love God, right? Well, for any child who truly claims to know and love God, one of the most important attributes he or she should possess is obedience. Our Lord Jesus taught us that if we claim to love God, then we should obey His commands (Jn. 14:15, 1 Jn. 5:3). He asked emphatically, “Why do you call me Lord, and not do what I say?” (Lk. 6:46). In His sight, your obedience matters to Him, even better than your many sacrifices (1 Sam. 15:22-23).
So what does He command? One of His commands is that you love, honor, and obey your parents. He did not hinge it on how well they behave. He knows that we will all have imperfect parents, and it is not our duty to coerce them to change by rebellion but to trust God for their repentance. This does not mean that we follow or obey blindly though. The right thing is that we should always look to the Lord and obey as He would require of us (Eph. 6:1).
This takes away the pain of obeying out of duty, for if we say we love Him, then we will obey Him. And that means, obeying and honoring our parents as it is pleasing in His sight.
2. It shows that you love, respect, and are grateful for your parents
Let us consider our Lord Jesus Christ, who is our perfect example of obedience. First, from Heaven, He was asked by His Father to come to Earth and die for our sins. This was no easy task, but He was obedient – even till the cross (Phil. 2:8). The Bible says that even though He was God’s Son, He learned obedience by what He suffered (Heb. 5:8).
Not only that, but even coming to Earth, He became our perfect example by His submission to His parents (Lk. 2:51). Do not forget that He was a perfect God, and not just that, but His parents knew who He was. Yet He did not fling it in their faces, or constantly remind them of who He is. He remained submissive. This does not mean that He always found what they did to be right in His sight. They were imperfect humans. Yet because they were His parents – the ones who God had chosen to bring Him into the world through – He gave them the honor they deserved. He chose to obey. Do you remember that in His love, He still made sure His mother had a son to take care of her even while He was in pain on the cross? (Jn. 19:26-27)
As children, even though you will not always like everything your parents do, you are not to be disobedient. This characterizes the behavior of those who do not know God (2 Tim. 3:2). But as a child who values their parents – not because of what they have or have not done – but because of who they are, obedience is key. It shows that you are humble, trust them and value them enough to listen and comply – not negating the fact that they are imperfect.
3. It brings unimaginable blessings to you
God is not unjust (Heb. 6:10). He does not give you commands because He hates you. If anything, He desires success for your life (Jer. 29:11). But the world we live in is a fallen one, and the way that seems right is not always right (Prov. 14:12). Hence the need to do life as God intends.
God is so gracious that He adds a promise to the command to honor your parents. He adds that it may go well with you and you may live long (Ex. 20:12, Deut. 5:16). Don’t you desire this – even for your parents? When you obey, you save both you and your parents heartache, and the longer you both will live. You should know that God holds Himself accountable to His Word. Obey and you reap the benefits. Disobey and you reap the consequences (Deut. 11:26-28). I am a testimony to that.
When you choose to obey your parents, it first shows that you honor God, and He will bless you for that. Next, it shows that you respect your parents. If you do, then their blessings will rest upon you, and God will take into cognizance those blessings. Guess what? Your future will be bright. And not just yours, but the blessing extends to your generations after you (Deut. 7:9).
4. It molds your character
Obedience to parents teaches you responsibility, humility, and self-discipline. It helps you discern right from wrong and helps you behave orderly in society. Character is king. It will take you places your talent cannot. What it works in you are key ingredients to the blessed and successful life I mentioned earlier.
5. It keeps you out of trouble
These days, we hear many stories of young girls who get molested and killed,, and guys who get arrested or killed too because of greed, the need to belong, or other traits such as these. Most times, if you trace clearly, this is rooted in disobedience to God and parents.
Every well-meaning, godly parent trains their child in the way he should go so that he does not depart from it when he is old (Prov. 22:6). Refusal to obey leads to a life of doom. If there are blessings for obedience, there are surely consequences for disobedience. You can ask Ham, Noah’s son, in Genesis 9:22-27.
The writer in Proverbs emphasizes that his son listens to his parents’ instructions so that he may be wise (Prov. 1:8; 4:1; 13:1). Whether we choose to admit it or not, our parents have the benefit of age and experience. Although their choices may not always align with what we want, our choice first as children of God should be to take it to God, dialogue respectfully with them, and obey “in the Lord” (Eph. 6:1). Believe me, it will save you a lot of regrets.
6. It brings peace and progress to the home
Children who are obedient to their parents have smoother relationships with their parents because they show that they trust their parents’ judgment and respect their authority. To this end, the home is at peace. Not because there are no disagreements, but because they are dealt with maturely and respectfully. You cannot doubt the kind of progress this house will make.
7. It teaches you how to obey authority
I read somewhere that obeying imperfect parents teaches us how to also obey imperfect people in the world. There are laws guiding society; guiding the way we live and conduct ourselves. One day, you will have a job. Maybe you already have one. You will have an imperfect boss who will sometimes make mistakes, be harsh with you, or stretch you beyond your comfort zone. To tell the truth, it will not always be fun to obey.
Think of teachers in your school. Think of your partner in marriage. Obedience and submission sometimes feel boring. Every human craves independence. But God teaches us that to truly live in freedom, what we need is obedience to Him and others in authority. It is beneficial for our good and His glory. We begin learning this by obeying our parents.
8. It enhances a positive self-image
Most children who are obedient have the backing of their parents. Especially when these parents are godly, there is a way that their encouragement for acts of obedience rubs on their children and makes them feel better about themselves. Some children have grown into adulthood and look very bold, but inside, they are insecure because they lack the love, acceptance, and approval that they should have gotten from their parents in their early years. While a positive self-image is not always a product of obedience or not, there is a strong link between them.
9. It helps you grow in faith and serves as a witness to the Gospel
One of the best ways God teaches us to trust and obey Him is by the way we trust and obey our parents. He is our Heavenly Father. We have Earthly fathers and mothers. Our relationship with Him influences our relationship with them and vice-versa. Trusting our parent’s judgment without always understanding the full picture, helps us also to trust God with our lives without always seeing the whole picture. As we learn to depend on and obey our parents, we learn to do the same for God. And boy, are there blessings!
Again, we serve as witnesses to the Gospel when we obey our parents. Doing this brings glory and pleasure to God (2 Cor. 9:13). And that is why we were created (Rev. 4:11). One of the traits of those who do not know God in the end times is that they are “disobedient to their parents” (2 Tim. 3:2). You sure know where these will end up, don’t you? I am sure you do not want that to be your story. So, obey!
To conclude, just because it is right does not mean that it is easy. Our Lord Jesus Himself had to “learn” obedience by what He suffered. And we can too. Truly, our parents may be imperfect and we sometimes feel that we have better ideas for our lives than what we are told. This is where your relationship with God supersedes. Although your parents desire what is good for you, your Father in Heaven knows what is best for you. Do your part by obeying and honoring your parents and let Him take care of the rest.
And if you have been disobedient, it is never too late to turn to God in repentance. Let the Holy Spirit teach you how to obey from the heart.
Hey, obedience pays. Don’t say I never told you. Blessings!
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