10 Reasons Why Quality Time Is Important In A Home
When I was little, I would always long for the holidays. This was for a lot of reasons. First, it was that time of year when I finally got to play my life out. Again, it was the season when I finally got to eat chicken in abundance; not to mention the crunchy ‘chin-chin’ and candy treats. But it would have never been complete without hearing my mom shout, “Go get your clothes on!” In no later than a minute or two, each of us would be in our all-time favorites, ready to hop in the car and head to Grandma’s. There, a bunch of cousins we had not seen for ages would be waiting to throw us over with hugs.
As I reflect on this, I am elated. Not just for the never-ending fun we enjoyed, but because we got to spend quality time together as a family (and jump on bouncy beds too!)
There has never been a time in society when humans have become as busy as bees as this age. Everyone is busy at work or school in the daytime. At night, another set of overwork sets in. Dad is busy replying to his mail, Mom is off preparing dinner, and Junior is all worked up with homework. Everybody seems to be doing something. Nobody has time for anybody. This circle of working round the clock makes it so easy for us to forget the things that truly matter, like family.
Family is everything, after God. God Himself loves family. That is why He created the first family in the first place. We can see His intentionality about families ever since (Josh. 24:15, 1 Tim. 3:4-5, 5:4, 8, Acts 10:2, 16:33-34). Do you know that this was also the reason why He sent His Son to die? Yes, so we could have a great, big, happy family (Eph. 3:15, Heb. 2:11). He knows that the love we get from our families cannot be compared to another. He is also aware that it is in the family that we get to experience firsthand His kind of genuine love. From observing how a mother loves her baby, we see how He loves us, His children, and keeps surprising us with His goodness. Also, kids learn how to love from watching their parents love, just as we as God’s children learn from God’s amazing love story with His bride (Is. 49:15, 66:13, Eph. 5:22-33).
If God is this intentional about the family, you and I have to be too. This calls for some action on our part for true love is not in words but in deeds (1 Jn. 3:18). Apart from the hundred other ways we can nurture love and care in our families, an important way we can do this is by speaking the love language of “Quality Time.” This is not just restricted to the parents and their kids but to the mom and dad also. I earnestly desire that this be a blessing to you and it sure will, as God graciously enables. To begin, we will look at what the term “quality time” means.
What is Quality Time?
Why don’t we start by treating the terms individually? First, we define “quality,” and then “time.” Quality means “being of good worth, fit for purpose, well made, or a level of excellence.” Time on the other hand means, “an instance, experience or occurrence.” Quality time thus means as deduced, “an experience that is of good worth, fit for the purpose, and carries with it, a certain degree of excellence.” To apply this to the family, we can say that, quality time is an experience with the ones we love (our family) where we give them our undivided attention, set aside all other distractions, and get to know them better. It is termed “quality time” because it is intended to serve a good and excellent purpose in the end.
Now, the emphasis is not really on the duration of time involved per se or the particular activity that occurs as we spend time with the ones we love. That is why it is not called “quantity time.” The focus is on the undivided attention we devote during this time and the value we get after this. This goes to show that you can go on a walk with your spouse or your kids but be so lost in thought or on your mobile device that you miss out on actually spending quality time with them. Another perspective is that you can be on your mobile device, probably on a Zoom app with your partner, yet because you are giving him/her an undivided attention, you are actually spending quality time with them.
In the Bible, we see many of God’s children spending quality time with their biological families, spiritual families, and mostly, with God. We see a very vivid example of a man called Elkanah who would always spend quality time with His family, and not just at any random pub or tavern, but in the very presence of God – in His Holy Temple (1 Sam. 1:1-5). We also see our Lord Jesus who gave us a perfect example of this love language when He spent time with His mother and brothers, His friends, Mary and Martha, His disciples, the ones He came to save, and most importantly, His Father, God (Lk. 10:38-42, Matt. 9:9-10, Lk. 19:5, Lk. 5:16).
Our Lord Jesus knows that to truly help people and nurture good relationships in the home that lead to mutual benefits, one must invest quality time. I say, invest, because truly, it may be not easy at first, but it promises a great ROI (Return on Investment) in the process and afterward. The same goes for our relationship with God. The more quality time we invest in our walk with Him, the better our relationship with Him and others become; and the more abundant lives we’ll live.
The Reasons Why Quality Time is Important in a Home are as follows:
1. You get to connect deeper with the ones you love
I have learned that the more we get to know people, the stronger our bond with them grows. But if we never invest quality time into our relationships so as to know them, we should expect the opposite.
So many families today are in disarray, with sons hating fathers and moms merely ‘tolerating’ dads because quality time is not invested into their relationships. They do not have that deep bond that a properly functioning family is meant to have. Do you know that most people who hate God do so because they do not truly know or have a deep connection with Him? While those who do love Him do so because they have come to know Him, understand His ways, and have fallen in love with His Person. If you dig deep into their lives, you will note that these people have taken it upon themselves to intentionally invest quality time into their relationship with Him.
When we invest quality time into our relationships with members of our family, it leads to a situation where children truly mean it when they call their dads, “dad” and the dads truly feel for their wives and share a deep connection and passion for them.
2. You build a tower of trust in your home
There is something in business known as the KLT factor. It means the “Know, Like, and Trust” Factor. This tells you that the more you know people and they know you, the more they will like you because they understand you, and the more they will trust you. When you intentionally invest quality time into your relationships, you build more trust with your family members. When they know you on a deeper level; your weaknesses, flaws, and strengths, it will be easy for them to relate with you and trust you.
Many people these days die of many heart diseases. Others let depression drown every single joy in their lives. If you investigate, most of these people have no one to share their problems with. This is not because people do not surround them, but because there is no trust between them. They fear their secrets being exposed. This is true for many kids, especially teens, and even for some spouses who cannot completely trust and rely on their partners. This is not nice as it does not bring God joy. What He wants is that we live and lead abundant lives where we get to laugh, share our problems, and get help (Jn. 10:10, Gal. 6:2). This is why He intentionally did not make us objects of ‘lonesome’ (Gen. 2:18).
This is why investing quality time into our relationships is necessary. When we invest quality time, we build a tower of trust that we can run to when trouble comes knocking. Trust will also make your loved ones more willing and ready to recommend you and your services to others with pride and confidence.
3. You create unforgettable memories
So many photographs line the walls of my grandma’s sitting room. These are memories of important events in the lives of her children and grandchildren. We make it a top priority to take a picture at every holiday when we all spend quality time together.
When you take time out with your significant other on a walk, where it’s just the two of you; or when you and your kids go outing on a picnic at a serene, beautiful place, you get to spend quality time together. As you talk, laugh, and get lost in each other, you create memories that you will live to be grateful for. The moments we live to relish are those spent with our loved ones. When darkness comes around, these memories are the stars that flash around us and expel the darkness.
Just remember a time when you were distressed or in doubt about God. Suddenly, a beautiful memory of a soothing fellowship you had with Him where you spent quality time in His presence just sparked in your mind. How did you feel? That’s the feeling you get when you invest quality time into your relationships in the home.
4. You get to communicate with the ones you love
It does not make sense to set aside quality time for someone if you would just end up moping at the person until dusk. One of the essences of investing quality time is so we can communicate; so we can get to know our loved ones better. When we devote quality time to spend with our spouses, children, or parents, say by hanging out after work or by eating out at a nice restaurant, it opens the door for us to really know them. It gives us the chance to say how we feel about them; and finally concentrate on sharing our joys, and woes and exploring their different personalities. We can always claim that we love, but if we do not spend quality time with people, we never know what’s deep within them. And if we do not, we cannot help them. If we do invest this time, however, we build trust and help the ones we love to open up to us.
They get to express what they feel and also commend us when we are doing great at our jobs. Quality time affords us the opportunity to share our lives and engage in honest conversations, thereby deepening trust and strengthening the family bond.
5. You get to relax and destress
I cannot remember the number of times I have felt better after a long day of overwork by simply spending time talking with someone at home. Most times, it is my mom. Other times, it could be my brother or sister. On many occasions, it is with my Lover, Jesus. Believe me when I say I do feel better.
Our days are mostly busy and engaging and we cannot help but feel like beaten birds after it. This is where quality time takes the stage. Imagine being thrown a hug as you walk in through the door, while you are served a hot cup of coffee and the love of your life asks you about your day in a calm, soothing way. She proceeds to take a seat beside you and then shares her day with you. There is no way you would not feel less stressed. Also, I am sure coming back home will be something to look forward to each day.
6. You enjoy a healthier mind
Most of what keeps us depressed and worried is when we are stressed, lonely, and have no one we can share our worries or joys with. However, when we spend quality time with others, we get to see them smile. We get to see them happy. This in turn makes us happy. Laughter is good medicine and a merry face does the heart and mind a lot of good (Prov. 17:22). Sometimes, just knowing that we have people who care about us and find us worthy of their love keeps our minds healthy.
Even in Science, when we are excited, “feel good” hormones like dopamine are released into our bodies which indeed make us feel good. We are then set on the path of thinking focused, intelligent, and straightforward thoughts. And do you know, a good, revitalized, and renewed mind is just what God desires for us in a fast-paced and unpredictable world such as ours (Rom. 12:2).
7. You and your loved ones get to perform better
We have already said that spending quality time with the ones we love makes for a healthier mind. The Bible says that if we have renewed minds, we will be able to decipher God’s good, pleasing, and perfect will for us (Rom. 12:2). Now, the highest degree of excellence we can enjoy is when we are living in God’s will for us.
I have seen kids who were pumped to do better at their homework or became more focused at school, simply because their parents made time to counsel and encourage them. We never know the impact God uses us to make in the lives of the ones we love when we spend quality time with them. What our kids need at this time and age is not more calculation apps or AI assistants. What they need is our true love expressed through quality time. If we give them this, they will become better – they’re human after all. I can assure you.
As a partner, spending quality time together with your spouse can also improve your performance. When you know you have the support of the one you cherish; you are aware that his/her ears are open to listening to your dreams, hopes, fears, and worries, and you are bound to do better. Begin to invest in quality time today.
8. Your self-esteem and confidence explodes
One character trait of people who suffer from low self-esteem is that they prefer loneliness and they can hardly open up to others out the fear of being termed, vulnerable. One way quality time is important in the lives of such people is that by spending time with them, you make them feel loved and important. This boosts their self-esteem and explodes their confidence in the long run.
We also have spouses and kids who are naturally confident, but we can testify that they do even better when we spend quality time with them. You have no idea what ten minutes of quality time can do to a girl who is to present in front of her class the next day. That is why coaches spend time with their players before matches. Combined with the love language of words of affirmation and other forms of encouragement, one is bound to explode with confidence when s(he) is lavished with quality time.
9. You become more resilient and healthier physically
People who have a strong support system are bound to be more resilient, tougher and more capable of approaching life’s challenges with extra focus and grit. By spending quality time with the ones you love, you prepare and strengthen them for a world full of pressure and uncertainty.
Also, when you spend quality time with God, you are better equipped for tough times because His love, assurance, and belief in you will keep you going. Think about how Jesus spent quality time in the presence of His Father in the Garden of Gethsemane. Though He was tired and felt like giving up, His Father came through for Him and gave Him the strength to face the Cross (Lk. 22:41-43). The strength you receive from your quality time with God will overflow to your spouse, child, or parent as you also spend quality time with them.
When you spend quality time with your family by exercising together, eating healthy meals, going out on walks, or observing nature, your physical health improves. This makes you more effective at work and you know what that means: more wealth!
10. You let your kids cultivate positive behaviors
By spending quality time with God, you get to see how perfect He is. Out of your awe, love, and reverence for Him, you strive to be as holy as He is. The same goes for your kids. As they watch how you spend quality time with God, your spouse, those around you who are your spiritual family, and especially them, they will be moved to imitate your example. They will learn how to love others by also spending quality time with them, showing compassion, truly listening when others speak, maintaining eye contact, and giving reassuring words of encouragement.
By imbibing these values, these children will become better citizens, students, workers, children, and most importantly, Christians. This will reduce the risk of them engaging in vices because they have parents whom they can model. They will also become better people because they have a strong, solid support system they can always lean unto in their homes. They will have a better, positive attitude towards school and work, at home or wherever they find themselves. Of course, this does not mean that only spending quality time with your kids will guarantee you of this, but you’re off to a good start when you invest in it.
To conclude, I spent quality time with my youngest sister giving her a pep talk last week. She looked pretty excited and hopeful after it. You have no idea the miracles that will be wrought when you choose to unselfishly invest those nine minutes of your time to nurture your relationships in your home. So, make the effort. Start from something. Invest that time and see what God will do.
Also, invest QUALITY TIME in your relationship with your Father in Heaven and His family on Earth. He knows how to make you and yours whole.
From a heart that truly desires to see you thrive, thank you and God bless.
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