10 Signs That Your Marriage Is Drifting Apart
I am scared of getting married, I prefer a child out of wedlock, I am an advocate for single parenthood, it’s beautiful to stay alone and make money, you can survive without being bonded by one marriage, marriage is bondage, Apostle Paul didn’t get married, I want to enjoy life, the street is still a beautiful place to be!
Contrary to these words that people often utter, marriage is beautiful and sacred; it is designed by God to reflect His love, commitment, and unity. It is meant to be a lifelong journey of companionship, understanding, and mutual support. However, the reality is that no marriage is immune to challenges.
Over time, couples may begin to notice subtle or even obvious changes in their relationship—signs that something is not quite right. These signs, if ignored, can slowly lead a marriage to drift apart. I have seen marriages that started with so much love, joy, and excitement slowly lose their warmth. I have also seen couples who were once inseparable become distant, living like mere roommates instead of life partners. Perhaps you have noticed something similar in your own marriage. Maybe the laughter that once filled your home has faded, or the deep conversations you once had have been replaced by silence or surface-level discussions. Maybe you no longer feel as close to your spouse as you once did, and you are wondering what went wrong.
The truth is, no marriage drifts apart overnight. It happens gradually, often without the couple realizing it until the gap between them feels too wide to bridge. This is why it is crucial to recognize the warning signs early and take intentional steps to restore your relationship before it becomes too late. The Bible tells us in Song of Solomon 2:15, “Catch the foxes for us, the little foxes that spoil the vineyards, for our vineyards are in blossom.” Just as small foxes can destroy a vineyard, small issues—if left unchecked—can weaken the foundation of a marriage.
God’s design for marriage is not for couples to live in constant conflict, loneliness, or emotional detachment. His desire is for a husband and wife to walk together in love, unity, and mutual respect. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 reminds us, “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” Marriage is a partnership where both spouses are meant to support, encourage, and build each other up. But when a couple drifts apart, they stop functioning as a team, and the relationship begins to suffer.
In this article, we will explore ten warning signs that indicate a marriage is drifting apart. These signs are not meant to condemn or discourage you, but rather to help you identify areas in your relationship that may need urgent attention.
Whether your marriage is currently in a good place or facing serious struggles, I encourage you to read with an open heart. God’s Word is full of wisdom, guidance, and encouragement for every marriage. As you go through these points, take time to reflect, pray, and seek God’s direction for your relationship. With His grace and your willingness to make changes, your marriage will thrive again. Amen.
1) Lack of Communication
2) Constant Arguments
3) Emotional Detachment
4) Secrets and Deception
5) Lack of Intimacy
6) Different Priorities
7) Financial Strain
8) Loss of Respect
9) Avoidance of Conflict
10) Spiritual Neglect
1) Lack of Communication:
Discovering that the rate at which you Communicate with your spouse has reduced is proof that you both are gradually drifting apart. If you can not go a day without having a heart-to-heart talk with your spouse when your relationship started but eventually notice that you both even struggle to have a discussion in a week or probably communicating with each other has become a big deal and you have to reluctantly do that, then it is obvious that you both are gradually drifting apart. Communication breakdown can lead to emotional distance and misunderstandings, and these misunderstandings ensure there is a gap between you both anytime it occurs because there is no time created to communicate effectively with each other. The scripture reminds us that “If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame” (Proverbs 18:13).
2) Constant Arguments:
I have often heard about Couples who quarrel and comfortably go for weeks without talking to each other. They live together and sleep on the same bed, yet have no talk. When you constantly notice that you can’t have a mature conversation with your spouse without having to argue or fight at the end, it’s proof that you both are gradually drifting apart and the place of love is fading away bit by bit. Between couples, quarrels that escalate without resolution can signify deeper issues. Although, as couples, there are times you argue and quarrel, but when it graduates to the point that you find it difficult to solve it on time, or there is a need to invite a third party to settle, then it shows you both need to realize that you’re gradually drifting apart. The word of God addresses this “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you” (James 4:1)?
3) Emotional Detachment:
This is just a natural emotional feeling that comes from within. As a spouse, you just feel natural that your affection for the other person is gradually reducing, and the way you usually feel about them is no longer the same. Why? Feeling disconnected emotionally, where intimacy and sharing diminish, may indicate underlying issues- unresolved issues. The Bible reminds us, “Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their toil” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10). Without unity and oneness, there is no how you can successfully paddle the Canoe of your marriage.
4) Secrets and Deception:
Tell me what causes a lack of trust in a relationship, and I will show you how deeply secrets and deception had eaten deep into that relationship. When honesty and transparency wane, trust can erode. Then, what is a relationship without trust? Such a relationship will lack peace, and both will exist on probability. If it works fine, if it doesn’t, fine. The Bible says “Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are his delight” (Proverbs 12:22). When you constantly keep secrets and deceive each other, it’s simply proof that you both are drifting apart because whatever is capable of making you hide from your spouse is capable of destroying your home.
5) Lack of Intimacy:
Intimacy is very important in marriage and it’s not something to be toiled with. In fact, physical intimacy is a vital aspect of marital bonding. As a woman, when you feel reluctant to release your body to your husband, it shows you’re gradually losing your love for him because a woman will gladly allow a man they love to touch them. As a man, if your wife no longer appeals to you, then, it shows your mind is somewhere else. It’s usually very easy to know you both are drifting apart when your sexual lifestyle and intimacy are lagging behind. The Bible says, “The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband” (1 Corinthians 7:3-5). When you start denying each other your conjugal rights, you are gradually drifting apart.
6) Different Priorities:
When you ask a woman if she is interested in the project her spouse is currently doing or if the same is asked a man, and they both respond with “I am not concerned,” then such a couple is only married but not united. When couples pursue separate interests without considering each other, unity falters and dies. The word of God says “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3-4). The Bible says “others” but your spouse is you. Not considering your spouse’s interest or the other way around is proof that you both are drifting apart.
7) Financial Strain:
This is another sign that reveals you’re drifting apart. Disagreements over money can strain marital harmony and the Bible says, “Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have” (Hebrews 13:5). When couples discover that they find it difficult to have a peaceful environment when it comes to finances, it shows both are gradually drifting apart. Couples in love will lovingly discuss their financial issues and be careful not to hurt each other’s feelings. Also, both will see whatever they have as individuals as something belonging to both and the family, with no selfish feelings whatsoever. When you notice you both quarrel whenever the topic of money arises, it shows you are no longer interested in each other’s affairs.
8) Loss of Respect:
This is another important aspect of it because respect is crucial in marriage. The Bible says, “Let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband” (Ephesians 5:33). When you start losing respect for each other as a couple, it’s proof that you’re drifting apart. When your spouse talks and you have no respect for their words and refuse to regard them, it shows your interest in them is reducing.
9) Avoidance of Conflict:
How well do you settle your issues with your spouse? Do you invite a third party before that is done? Do you go to a counselor before you resolve little conflicts? Do you avoid discussing your issues? Ignoring issues rather than addressing them can lead to resentment and a lack of unity. The Bible reminds us, “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17). When you notice you constantly have to refer back to other issues had in the past that you didn’t address whenever you have another fight, then it’s proof that you both are drifting apart. Coupes will have issues and misunderstandings, but their ability to resolve these issues on time keeps their marriage on track and helps them overcome life obstacles.
10) Spiritual Neglect:
How often do you pray, fast, and study the scripture together? How well do you share your revelations and visions? When spiritual growth and faith diminish, a vital bond weakens. The word of God establishes it, “And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:12). Standing together spiritually as couples helps you stick together, you get bonded and it’s difficult to drift apart but when your spiritual life grows cold, the devil finds it easy to penetrate your home and this often leads to separation.
Conclusion
As couples, recognizing these signs is the first step toward the healing and restoration of your home. With faith and commitment, you both can seek counsel, pray together, and apply biblical wisdom to strengthen your marriage. The Bible encourages, “With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:2-3). By nurturing and encouraging communication, trust, and a solid spiritual foundation, you both can overcome your marital challenges and rebuild your marriage on the solid rock of God’s love and grace. As you recognize these signs, I see your home standing firm on the rock with Christ as the Chief Cornerstone. Your marriage will thrive, in Jesus’ name. Amen.
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