11 Creative Ways To Adopt In Spending Quality Time At Home
In the first part of this article, we spoke at length on what exactly is meant by the term, “quality time” and highlighted why investing quality time into your relationships is vital. In this second part, we focus on the ways by which you can spend quality time with your family. But let us be clear here. This teaching can greatly impact your relationship only if you are intentional about practicing what you learn here. Emphasis is on the word “intentional.”
To be candid, the quest of making your family relationships a success through your investment in quality time will require loads of intentionality on your part. And we can learn something from Jesus, our role model, who intentionally set aside time so He would have quality fellowship with His Father (Lk. 5:16, 6:12).
Having said that, the following are the ways you can spend quality time with your family.
1. Maximize Meal Moments
When I was younger, my parents would serve my siblings and me on the same plate. Even when we got to go to grandma’s, my cousins and I would do so and call it a “family reunion” and indeed it was! Now, this is not to imply that your entire family should eat from the same bowl of food (definitely not!), but it just goes to show the magic of eating meals together.
One of the most excellent discussions we love to learn from in the book of John is when Jesus spent quality time with His disciples at mealtime (John 13-17). Jesus had countless meals in His lifetime, and the church does too. When we commune together as the body of Christ, we break bread (Matt. 9:10, Lk. 11:37, Jn. 12:2, Acts 2:42). If Jesus thinks mealtime is so important, why should we think any different?
At my house, my mom always emphasizes that we all eat together in one room. I doubt she says this because she just wants to glare at our faces. Rather, she emphasizes this because at mealtime, we breed togetherness and almost inevitably give undivided attention to one another. Dad can ask how Mom is doing and Junior can do likewise. In the end, it’s a win-win for your relationship. Nonetheless, due to an overdose of work, you may not always have this opportunity and may want to eat out. Although this should not become a habit, you can always maximize those moments and explore your family’s personalities.
Beyond that, cooking meals together can help you on your quest to spend quality time with your family, especially dinners. It helps you destress and you sure get good laughs too (especially when mom’s face is covered in flour). Once in a while, go out on date nights and candle-lit dinners too! It strengthens your relationships.
2. Go Out On Walks Together
Our Lord Jesus spent miles walking and talking with His disciples (Mk. 10:32, Mk. 16:12, Lk. 24:13-31). Although you may think this was just in a bid to spread the Gospel, it afforded Him time to bond with His friends and make them know Him for who He really is. Same thing goes for your family. You could set aside a day, probably the weekend to go on a walk with your spouse or kids. Try visiting somewhere new. Even though not entirely a new place, try walking through a different route, but ensure it is rather serene.
Just learn from your loved ones and hear their thoughts about the places you go. It not only helps you to bond but to stay physically fit. The peacefulness and calmness of the journey will afford you the opportunity to engage in meaningful, thoughtful conversations with them as you give them the undivided attention they need. Try not to walk using your cell phone or listening to music. This time is devoted to spending time with the ones you love, and it is a choice. So, don’t blow it.
3. Have A Fun Time Together!
What’s more fun than having chicken on a Saturday night? Playing a video game with your dad! Although video games can be a lot noisy at times, it is a great way to bond especially between dads and their sons. As a mom, opting to play against your husband is actually a very good idea. You’ll get to have fun, talk together, and appreciate the sides of your partner you may have never noticed before; like their expression when they lose a game or win.
Other times, you could simply engage your kids or spouse in games like chess, ‘ludo,’ scrabble, and just let the fun roll out. During these times, maximize the opportunity to bond with them. Don’t just get carried away by the fun but ask them questions. Ask them how they feel about you. Ask them if they enjoy you as a dad, mom, child, or partner. Ask them how the family is working. Ask them how their day went.
You know, we’re not really told that Jesus had fun times playing games with His disciples or family, but I sure know that they had their good times. And I’m confident that He’ll be right there with you all as you play (Ps. 14:5). Also, you can devote time to watching your son, daughter or spouse play basketball or golf with the rest of the family cheering them on. Better still, you can have fun playing it together. This will create memories that
will be relished and it will go a long way in showing your significant other and kids that you love them and appreciate the things they hold dear.
4. Book Bedtimes
Usually, when you get back home from work from a long day’s job, you feel drained; you feel like jumping on the bed and taking a journey to Dream city forever. However, one good way to spend quality time with your partner or kids is to book their bedtimes. Yes, literally schedule an appointment with them at those times. Now, this is not to ask you to donate an hour or two simply because you want to talk with them. But after work, you can grab some dinner, get a little refreshed, and before you lie down, you’d have gotten some strength.
Then you can head to your little angel’s room. Say her a bedtime story. Ask her how school is. Ask her if she’s having any trouble at school and if she has any new friends. Pray with her and let her feel your love and affection. Kiss her on her forehead and tuck her in. Also, go back to your room, and spend some time with your partner. You have no idea how his/her day must have been spent. And you may never know until you invest the time.
Before you sleep is an excellent time to just ask a casual, “How did your day go?” At first, he/she may be tired or get irritated, but as you persist, with time, he/she will look forward to these moments. Let your partner be the first person you say hello to when you wake up each day. Even if it means sparing five minutes of your time just talking about how you’ll spend your day or telling him/her that you’re there to cheer them on, it will work wonders. Try it out!
5. Cheer One Another As You Do Your Chores
As my brother and I run around the house trying to complete our work, we get the opportunity to spend quality time together. Now you would wonder how considering the fact that we’re doing totally different jobs and they can be really demanding. I’ll tell you how. There’s always that moment when we get to meet together in the midst of our chores, especially when we’re working in the same place. My bro uses this time to ask me questions or talk about school and I try to listen and respond appropriately.
Being intentional is the emphasis here as those three sentences that you utter or your thoughtful responses to the questions asked can set your relationships in gold. You may think this is a distraction to your main job but that is why you have to know your priorities. The intent is not for you to develop an encyclopedia from your conversation but simply to bond.
If done rightly, it even makes your jobs easier and more fun. As you do the dishes with your kids or take care of the garden together with yours only, grab the opportunity to spend time with them. The more you do the jobs together, the more you foster unity and build the bond of an eternal union.
6. Practice Going Out On Picnics
I really do not know the magic behind serenity, but I sure know that true peace works wonders (Jn. 14:27, Phil. 4:7). Dedicating a weekend to just relaxing with your family can be quite a nerve calmer. By eating together, laughing together, and taking pictures, you create unforgettable memories and you get to live in the moment, thereby fostering the bond you have with your family.
7. Help Out With Homework
Another way I have found it helpful to bond with my siblings is by helping out with their homework. Sometimes when they get back from school, I ask questions like, “What did you learn today?” “Who’s your best friend?” And they just start spilling out everything. From what I have seen, these little ones can talk for ages – they just need a listening ear.
Even though a young child may not be as excited to talk about something, he/she would certainly be excited about getting help with homework. This is where our intentional parents come in. Resist the urge to leave your kid’s school work to AI assistants or a private tutor. Make time to teach your kids and learn from them. Of course, due to some degree of work, you may not be able to do this every single day but ensure it is not lacking at all.
As you do so, you will learn about the problems that they have. You will see the flames in them that need to be fanned. You will be able to teach them lessons and you can be sure they will never say no to their Math superhero (or heroine!) Also, moms can help dads
with office work and dads can do likewise. Whichever way, you agree to spend time by helping out shows you care and it paves the way for bonding and honest communication.
8. Watch A Movie Together
Growing up, one way my mom taught my siblings and me most of the things we now know is through the movies we watched together. My mom would ask us the lessons we learned after each movie and inspiringly enough, would always find ways to relate it to the Bible. We would watch a movie like Merlin and my mom would teach about betrayal, love, and the Holy Spirit. (Awed? I am too).
Watching movies with your kids is a great idea. They learn better as they watch and how amazing it would be when you’re there to paint the realities of these movies more vividly in their minds! You’ll be instilling values you may have never had the opportunity to teach, and you’ll get to watch what your kids watch. Aside from that, you’ll get to relax and study the minds of your little ones.
But don’t get all ‘parenty’ and forget your spouse. Watching a movie with your significant other is also a brilliant idea. But then, try to watch movies that resonate with both of you, not movies that will leave you shattered or wild after the first ten minutes. Use this opportunity to find out their belief systems; find out the things they appreciate; find out what gives them meaning and fulfillment. And hey! Please, don’t make a joke of your partner when s(he) gets emotional. It can hurt, believe me. Just let your emotions flow. But remember, be considerate (Col. 4:6, Eph. 4:29).
9. Have A Family Reunion Once In A While
In the first paragraph of this article, I mentioned that my family and I would always have an exciting family reunion back at my grandma’s. I bet you, it has never grown old and it won’t start with yours. Dedicate a weekend, probably during the holidays to spend time with your family. Do things that your loved ones love. For example, you can sing to your wife as you play the piano. Or you could sit outside enjoying nature with your husband. Your kids could have some fun with you redecorating the house or you could gather by a bonfire at night and tell some stories of when you were a little boy. Think about how your kids will love to hear your love story.
Let there be moments when everyone gets to share fun things about themselves – things you have never known. Just forget about doing anything so serious and live in the moment. Your kids will need this from you and so will your partner. You can make it as often as you deem fit. But be careful, so it does not lose that special ring to it.
10. Try To Have A Digital Detox (Lk. 10:40-42)
Now, this seems almost impossible, especially in this digital age (even to me), but really, it may be just all you need. Many beautiful moments have been ruined when mom could not just stop staring at her online shopping list or dad could not just take his eyes off his email list. Partners need each other but it’s so easy to get carried away by what we see and do with our mobile devices.
Once in a while, you could choose to have a “no social media” day or a “no phone – 3-hour challenge.” The goal is to make it as exciting as possible, so you don’t have your loved ones boiling up on the inside, rather than simply enjoying the moment.
Also, it is a decision. You can tell yourself, “I am not going to use my phone as I’m being spoken to,” or “I will ensure to spend at least ten minutes of my morning each day with the love of my life before going on social media.” Of course, it may sound funny and even be difficult at first but it’s always worthwhile. Tell me you’re up for the challenge.
11. Spend Quality Time With Your Father In Heaven As A Family
What is sweeter than having fellowship with the brethren (Ps. 133:1)? And to imagine that these brethren are your own family! One great way to spend quality time with your family is by praying together, worshipping together, or going out to church together. I know that in most churches, there are Sunday schools and different classes for kids, so the entire family may not really have the privilege of being in one place as they fellowship. But then, those moments that you drive together in the car on your way to church, while you play uplifting Christian music can prove helpful – if you’re intentional about it. You can do this before and even after church.
Again, it’s a great thing for kids to see their parents sitting together and spending quality time in the presence of their Bigger, Super-duper Dad. So, make it a priority to ensure that. Also, be consistent in your devotional life at home. Pray with your kids. Ask your wife what battles she’s currently facing. Ask your husband what habits he needs help with
and go on your knees holding his hands to pray about it. Sometimes, they may find it difficult to open up at first. But hey, they can’t resist your love for too long. Even if they can, they can’t resist the power of prayer!
Investing quality time into your relationships can seem hard and tough at times, especially when your family seems not to appreciate your effort. However, with intentionality, persistence, creativity, and prayer, you’re sure to make good progress. May your relationship thrive as you put to use the values and qualities you’ve just imbibed. God bless you!
