11 PRACTICAL WAYS TO AVOID LIES IN A RELATIONSHIP
Introduction
A few years back, I heard of a couple’s story and it taught me a lifetime lesson. A man lied to his wife about his relationship with a sister at work. He calls her his “office daughter” because the lady directly works under him. Although it wasn’t the man’s intention to have an intimate relationship with the sister, the sister worked it out. I was made to know that the man’s major mistake was not telling the wife when the sister was seducing him at work. To him, he felt he could handle the temptation but the sister persisted and eventually got him. This man got cut up in the web of using lies to cover lies until the truth came to light when his sister got pregnant and reported to the wife directly.
Lies, no matter how small they may seem, have the power to unravel even the strongest of relationships. Whether in marriage, courtship, friendship, or any other form of bond, lies introduce a toxic element that gradually destroys trust, transparency, and love. Relationships are designed to thrive on truth and honesty. When deceit is introduced, it not only harms the person lied to but also erodes the character of the one lying. For Christians, relationships are more than emotional connections—they are sacred unions reflecting God’s truth and love. When lies infiltrate these unions, the consequences can be devastating, leading to emotional, spiritual, and even physical damage.
In marriage, where two individuals vow to become one, lying can undermine the very essence of unity. The Bible clearly states that the two shall become one flesh (Genesis 2:24), a bond that is nurtured through honesty and trust. When lies are told in a marital relationship, they create a barrier, preventing genuine intimacy and partnership. A spouse who feels betrayed by lies may struggle to rebuild trust, and in many cases, this can lead to separation or divorce.
During courtship, lying is equally dangerous. This stage is a time of building foundations for a future together, and deceit during this period creates cracks that may later lead to the collapse of the relationship. A person who is misled during courtship may enter into marriage under pretenses, only to face disappointment and heartbreak when the truth is eventually revealed.
Even in friendships, lies can cause irreparable harm. Trust, which is the cornerstone of any friendship, is shattered when deception is exposed. A friend who feels betrayed may find it difficult to forgive, and the relationship may never recover its original closeness. Proverbs 17:17 reminds us that “a friend loves at all times,” but love cannot thrive where dishonesty reigns.
Furthermore, lying is not only harmful to relationships but also destructive to the liar’s spiritual life. As Christians, we are called to reflect the character of God, who is truth itself (John 14:6). Lies align us with the enemy, Satan, who is described as the father of lies (John 8:44). This spiritual misalignment affects every aspect of a relationship, drawing couples, friends, and loved ones away from God’s purpose for their union.
Lying may seem like an easy escape at the moment, but its consequences are long-lasting. From damaged trust to the loss of respect and spiritual separation from God, the ripple effects of dishonesty touch every aspect of a relationship. It is essential, therefore, to prioritize truth in all interactions, striving to build relationships that honor God and reflect His love.
Therefore, in this article, we shall be considering “11 Practical Ways to Avoid Lies in a Relationship.”
1. Prioritize Truth as a Core Value
2. Build an Environment of Transparency
3. Cultivate Humility and Confess Mistakes Quickly
4. Speak the Truth in Love
5. Rely on God’s Strength to Overcome Temptations
6. Eliminate Half-Truths and Deceptive Practices
7. Be Accountable to God and Your Partner
8. Avoid Situations That Encourage Dishonesty
9. Seek Forgiveness and Extend Grace
10. Practice Gratitude and Contentment
11. Pray for a Heart of Integrity
1. Prioritize Truth as a Core Value
This starts with how truthful you are to yourself and the value you place on being truthful. Although it’s a sin you’re working hard to overcome, however, you have to understand what the word “truth” means, first. Honesty begins with a heart committed to truth. Making truthfulness a non-negotiable standard in your life ensures that every decision aligns with integrity. God is the embodiment of truth, and as His followers, we are called to reflect His nature. God desires truth in our inward parts and our hidden parts, and He will make wisdom known to us (Psalm 51:6). Therefore, sit with the word of God and from the patriarchs on how they reflected God’s nature of truth in their day-to-day living. This will help you prioritize Truth as a core value.
2. Build an Environment of Transparency
In relationships, fear of judgment often leads to lies. Groom an environment where you both as partners feel safe to express your thoughts and emotions without fear of condemnation. Transparency nurtures intimacy and respect. The Bible admonishes us as believers to bear one another’s burden (Galatians 6:2). Build a good relationship with your partner so much that you find it very easy to approach them when you’re wrong. Speak to your spouse, fiance, or fiancee about everything. Create a peaceful environment in your relationship so much that you discuss almost everything about your day. Transparency in your relationship will help you maintain good communication and avoid lies at every point.
3. Cultivate Humility and Confess Mistakes Quickly
The first question you should ask yourself after lying is; why did I tell that lie? Oftentimes, pride compels people to lie to preserve their image. Humility opens the door to honest confessions and strengthens relationships. By admitting mistakes promptly, you demonstrate integrity and sincerity. The word of God encourages us to humble ourselves (James 4:10). In your relationship, giving room to lies will constantly lead to chaos and fights. Mistakes are inevitable. When you’re wrong, approach your partner immediately and confess your mistakes. This will help you kill the urge to lie and keep secrets from your spouse.
4. Speak the Truth in Love
Some people say you don’t speak the truth in all situations and sometimes you need to lie. They call it wisdom. Some call it a white lie. All forms of lie are a sin and a deceit from the pit of hell. How do you communicate the truth to your partner without hurting them? Truth spoken harshly can harm relationships. Learn to communicate truth in a way that reflects love and care. This approach breeds understanding and builds trust, rather than resentment. The word of God encourages us to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15).
5. Rely on God’s Strength to Overcome Temptation
As believers, we are not exempted from temptation, and as a matter of fact, we must prepare for more temptations because the devil is always seeking to steal from us. Most times, moments of weakness often tempt us to lie. Turning to God for strength in those moments ensures we choose righteousness over deception. The Scripture provides clarity and courage to face the truth giving us a clue that every temptation we may be approached with is common to men and it’s not new but God is faithful and will not allow us to be tempted beyond what we can bear (1 Corinthians 10:13). Rely solely on God for strength to overcome the temptation of lies.
6. Eliminate Half-Truths and Deceptive Practices
Lying shows you’re deceptive and you’re not different from the father of lies, the devil. Partial truths or omissions can be just as damaging as outright lies. Commit to full honesty, ensuring your words and actions align with integrity. Avoid misleading your partner through vagueness or concealment. Don’t exaggerate when communicating with your partner, don’t hide all you need to say to them. Communicate every matter exactly the way they are! The Bible instructs us to make our ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and our ‘No,’ No and anything more is simply from the devil (Matthew 5:37).
7. Be Accountable to God and your Partner
How accountable are you to God and your spouse? Accountability strengthens honesty. By holding yourself accountable to God and your partner, you create a culture of truth. Being open about your actions builds trust and deepens your relationship. In every manner of communication, In your actions, have the mindset of accountability. The word of God admonishes us to walk in light (1 John 1:7). This tells us that lies keep us in utter darkness and don’t reflect the truthfulness of Christ, in us. The fear of God, the love for God, and your partner will help you speak the truth, always.
8. Avoid Situations That Encourage Dishonesty
Some will ask, how can I recognize situations that may likely encourage dishonesty? It’s simple, flee from sin. Sin makes you lie. Sin births sin. When you sin, you tell a lie to cover it. Avoid environments or circumstances that might pressure you to lie. Whether it’s hiding financial issues or concealing mistakes, addressing challenges with integrity prevents deceit from taking root. When you hurt your partner, avoid lying to keep it a secret, instead, sit them down and confess the mistakes. If you want to be free from lies, be mindful of mistakes, and flee from any form of errors and temptations you will never be bold enough to confess to your spouse when you commit them. The word of God encourages us to be mindful of the steps we take at all times (Proverbs 4:26).
9. Seek Forgiveness and Extend Grace
You haven’t seen God yet you approach Him in prayer seeking mercy and forgiveness when you’re wrong. Why are you afraid of confessing your mistakes and lies to your partner? Fear of rejection often leads to lies. Creating a space where forgiveness is freely given allows truth to flourish. When you both as partners give room for forgiveness and grace in your relationship, honesty becomes a priority for you both. Learn to forgive your partner when they are wrong so that when you approach them for your errors, you also get easily forgiven. The Bible speaks to us all, we must show kindness to ourselves, and forgive one another even as Christ forgave us (Ephesians 4:32).
10. Practice Gratitude and Contentment
I often see people pretend to be who they are not, pretend to have what they do not have so people can respect and value them. This is a proof of discontentment. Discontentment can tempt people to present a false image of themselves. Cultivating a spirit of gratitude and contentment reduces the urge to lie and grooms authenticity in all relationships. Be thankful and content with what you have. Don’t pretend to be another person. Embrace where God has placed with a heart of gratitude believing His help will find you someday. The Bible calls godliness with contentment a great gain (1 Timothy 6:6).
11. Pray for a Heart of Integrity
Prayer is essential for us all as believers. Prayer is also essential for cultivating a truthful spirit. Asking God to create a pure heart within you ensures that your words and actions reflect His truth. Regular prayer aligns your conscience with God’s will. When you find it difficult to speak the truth, approach God in prayer. Your sin is not hidden from Him, He only wants you to confess them. Also, don’t wait till you lie before praying. Praying constantly helps you feed your spirit man more than your flesh gets fed (Psalm 139:23-24).
Conclusion
Avoiding lies in a relationship requires intentionality and reliance on God’s Word. By placing much priority on truth, transparency, and seeking God’s guidance, you can build a relationship that reflects God’s love and faithfulness. Truth not only strengthens human bonds but also brings glory to God, the ultimate source of all truth. As you commit to these principles, remember that God’s grace is always sufficient to guide and sustain you in living a life of honesty and integrity. And I see God helping you in Jesus’ name.
