12 Consequences of Lies in a Relationship
Introduction
Lies simply mean presenting false information as true. Building a relationship on truth and trust is very crucial for its success. However, lies, no matter how small, can destroy the foundation of love, trust, and unity in a relationship. As believers, we must live in truth, for God Himself is truth (John 14:6). As discussed in the previous article; “11 Practical Ways To Avoid Lies in a Relationship,” trust is the foundation of any healthy and lasting relationship, and truth is simply the glue that binds it. When truth is replaced with lies, the actual foundation of such a relationship begins to unravel. Lying may seem like a quick fix or seamless method of avoiding conflict and covering up mistakes, but its consequences are often destructive and devastating. The Bible speaks clearly about the nature of lies and their destructive power. God detests a lying lips (Proverbs 12:22).
In a relationship, honesty breeds intimacy and understanding, creating a safe space where both partners can express themselves without fear. Lies, on the other hand, introduce doubt and suspicion. The effect of lying to your spouse may not be visible at the initial stage but it will start reflecting over time. As a couple, you might not know the consequences attached to lying to your spouse. As a friend, you might not know the dangers attached to lying to your other friend. There are dangers attached to it which may affect not just your recent relationship but other relationships to come.
Therefore, this article will consider 12 consequences of lies in a relationship and will open your eyes to these consequences of lies if not avoided, in your relationship as indicated in our previous article.
1. Loss of Trust
2. Loss of Respect
3. Breakdown in Communication
4. Emotional Pain
5. Hindered Spiritual Growth
6. Creates Fear and Guilt
7. Destroy Intimacy
8. Invites Satan’s Influence
9. Weakens the Relationship’s Foundation
10. Encourages More Lies
11. Damages Witness as a Christian
12. Leads to Separation from God
1. Loss of Trust
When lies are discovered, trust is shattered, making it difficult to rebuild the relationship. Trust is foundational to any relationship. The Bible says a faithful man shall abound with blessings but whoever is in haste to get rich will not be counted as innocent (Proverbs 28:20). Lies break trust no matter how deeply someone trusts another, the moment a lie is discovered, the trust has broken. The act of faithfulness and honesty leads to blessings, while dishonesty leads to brokenness. When you constantly lie to your spouse, they lose their trust in you.
2. Loss of Respect
Most often, liars fail to acknowledge the fact that they are gradually losing respect, especially from people who regard them well. A religious leader who tells a lie will not be respected. When it comes to lies, it can bring a hero to zero. Lying diminishes respect for one another, as it shows a lack of integrity and character. The Bible says “Better is a poor person who walks in his integrity than one who is crooked in speech and is a fool” (Proverbs 19:1). When you lie and the truth comes out, your words will no longer be trusted, even your truth will always seem like a lie to people. In your relationship, your partner will start becoming disrespectful towards you and this may affect the way you both relate initially.
3. Breakdown in Communication
I was once lied against and thank God the truth came to light. At that point, I established a very wide boundary between myself and that friend who lied against me. Lies create barriers in communication, leading to misunderstandings and emotional distance. When you lie a lot, people break off from your circle, they want more truthful friends, more loyal friends, and in any form of relationship either marriage or friendship, the moment a lie is involved, people stay away from you. The Bible tells us to make our ‘Yes,’ ‘Yes’ and our ‘No,’ ‘No’ (Matthew 5:37).
4. Emotional Pain
I feel hurt when I get lied to. I find it very difficult to trust whoever lies again. I have moved with friends who were so good at lying but I stopped the friendship because it wasn’t healthy for me, emotionally. Deception causes significant emotional hurt, as one partner may feel betrayed and undervalued. The word of God says “A lying tongue hates its victim, and a flattering mouth works ruin” (Proverbs 26:28). When you lie to your spouse, you cause them emotional pain, a kind of pain that takes only the Spirit of God to erase.
5. Hindered Spiritual Growth
As a liar, it’s very difficult for you to grow spiritually. Lying distances us from God because it is contrary to His nature. When you lie, and your conscience is still alive, you feel reluctant to approach God in prayer. You feel the guilt of your actions and the more this sin gets repeated, you are indirectly staying away from God, gradually. When you walk in integrity and the fear of God, you’re simply walking securely (Proverbs 10:9). As a couple, lying to each other will also hinder your spiritual growth together. Keeping secrets as a couple will give the devil a chance in your home.
6. Creates Fear and Guilt
Lies bring fear of being exposed and guilt for living in falsehood. This burden can weigh heavily on the liar. When you lie, you live in fear, not wanting the truth to be known and most times, you conceal that lie with another lie. When the truth comes to light, guilt sets in and you find it very difficult to enjoy freedom even among friends you once moved with and that man or woman you’re in a relationship with. The Bible says “The wicked flee when no one pursues, but the righteous are bold as a lion” (Proverbs 28:1). Honesty brings peace and boldness, while lies create anxiety.
7. Destroys Intimacy
True intimacy requires transparency. Lies hinder openness, it create barriers between partners. When you continue lying to your spouse, you keep expanding the gap between you both, physically, spiritually, and mentally. As you detach from them through your lies, the more their hearts find it hard to be intimate with you. Lies disrupt the unity God intends for couples cos it creates a separation between them. Two are better than one, the Bible says (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10). However, it’s very possible to be apart even while married.
8. Invites Satan’s Influence
The devil is the father of lies (John 8:44), and lying invites his influence into the relationship. The moment you and your spouse give room to lies and secrets, the devil will find it very easy to operate in your home. You will be amazed how easy it will become to paint white as black to your spouse and you won’t even feel remorseful about it until it destroys your home. Whoever tells lies belongs to the devil because there is no single truth in him (John 8:44).
9. Weakens the Relationship’s Foundation
Lies weaken the bond between partners, making the relationship vulnerable to external attacks. Friends and neighbors can easily speak to you or your spouse about their discoveries about your home and relationship when you both give room to lies and secrets. When third parties get strengthened and can easily tell either of you information about the other, be assured your home may be tampered with if not quickly handled with godly wisdom. When the foundation of your home is built on lies and deceit, when a storm arises, it breaks down easily. The word of God admonishes us to speak the truth always (Ephesians 4:25).
10. Encourages More Lies
One lie often leads to another, creating a web of deceit that becomes harder to escape. This is a reality. The more you lie, the more you look for another lie to cover the other and it turns you into who you’re not supposed to be, as a believer. Lies may seem convenient initially but it often leads to regret and suffering (Proverbs 20:17).
11. Damages Witness as a Christian
Lying tarnishes a believer’s testimony, making it difficult to exemplify Christ to others. How can you speak to others about Christ when you’re known for lies? How do you showcase yourself as a true representation of Christ to unbelievers when they know you to be a liar in your neighborhood? Your witness will be impossible when you don’t reflect God’s true nature in your neighborhood. The Bible tells us not to lie and we must put off our old self with its practices (Colossians 3:9).
12. Leads to Separation from God
A lifestyle of dishonesty can lead to spiritual separation from God, as lying is sinful. This is the ultimate of all. Disconnecting from God is dangerous and disastrous. No sinner shall see God and lying is a sin. God detests lying lips and only delights in trustworthy people (Proverbs 12:22). God values truth and honesty in all aspects of lies, and your relationship is not an exception.
Conclusion
Lying in a relationship kills trust which is the foundation of any meaningful connection. It creates doubt and often leads to a cycle of deceit, making it difficult to maintain transparency and intimacy. Lies do not only damage emotional bonds but also cause deep pain and betrayal for the partner who is deceived. This emotional fallout can leave lasting scars, making reconciliation and healing challenging. The word of God strongly condemns lies and dishonesty in all categories and not only limited to marital relationships but in all forms of relationships as indicated at the beginning of this article (Proverbs 12:22). The word of God also urges us as believers to reject falsehood and embrace truth because the truth is essential for love and unity in all forms of relationships (Ephesians 4:25).
Above all, the consequences of lying are destructive—affecting emotional, relational, and spiritual well-being. Truth and honesty remain essential for building relationships that honor God and breed a lasting and meaningful connection.
