7 Major Causes of Divorce Among Newly Married Couples
Today, it’s becoming rampant how people rush into marriage only to jump out after a few months. We regularly read of marriages lasting 5 to 6 months. What could be the cause? Are people still waiting on God? Or is it now a test and run or stay affair? Some even enter Marriage with a mindset to see if it works, if it doesn’t, they stay off!
Marriage is a divine institution ordained by God for companionship, love, and mutual support (Genesis 2:24). However, while many couples enter marriage with high hopes and expectations, some newlyweds find themselves struggling with issues that threaten their union. Divorce, as I have said earlier, though not God’s original plan, has become increasingly common, even among those who have been married for only a short time.
I married early, but I entered marriage with a determination to make it work, same like my husband. I was prepared for the ups and downs that come with it. At one point, someone told my husband that the first 5 years of marriage are usually very hard, but we agreed that whatever challenges we are faced with, we will go through them holding each other’s hands. God will not allow a challenge that is more than we can bear. This is 7 years in marriage, and even though things have not been a bed of roses, we’re still standing, holding each other, with God on our side.
Therefore, this article will explore seven major causes of divorce among newly married couples.
1. Unmet Expectations
2. Lack of Communication
3. Financial Struggles
4. Lack of Trust and Infidelity
5. Zero Spiritual Foundation
6. Third Party Interference
7. Unresolved Conflicts and Unforgiveness
1. Unmet Expectations
Before I got married, I ensured I read enough books, and I had no expectations greater than who and what I knew my husband to be. I was ready to embrace whatever comes knowing fully well that God has good plans for His children and the plans are only of good and not of evil. One of the biggest causes of early divorce is unmet expectations. It’s the easiest way to start pulling yourself and your spouse apart. Many people enter marriage expecting a life of constant romance, harmony, and ease, only to be shocked by the realities of everyday life. When these expectations are unmet, disappointment and frustration take root, constantly leading to conflicts.
It’s funny how movies, books, and social media often paint an idealistic image of marriage, making couples believe that love alone is enough to sustain a marriage. I watched movies and read books like this when I was still single, but not a single one of all they portrayed in them got me so much that I expect my husband to do the same. I understood the exaggerations. However, the Bible teaches us that love is more than emotions—it is a commitment that requires patience, kindness, and perseverance (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). Many newlyweds fail to understand that true love is tested in times of hardship, and when they encounter difficulties, they assume their marriage is failing, and the next thing, they want to go their separate ways!
Additionally, some individuals expect their spouses to fulfill all their emotional, financial, and social needs, and this is impossible because all you want your partner to do, you can’t do all as well. This unrealistic dependency creates unnecessary pressure in the relationship. The word of God also encourages couples to place their trust in God, not solely in each other (Jeremiah 17:7). A spouse is meant to be a partner, not a savior. You may need to read that again!
To prevent unmet expectations from leading to divorce, you must enter marriage with a mindset of growth and adaptability. Have open discussions about your expectations before marriage and continuously communicate as you do life together.
2. Lack of Communication
How well can you walk with God without constantly communicating with him? It’s important to note that if you fail to communicate with your partner regularly, the chemistry between you both gradually reduces. Yes! It works better with communication. Communication is the foundation of any strong marriage. When couples fail to communicate effectively, misunderstandings arise, leading to frustration, resentment, and most times, emotional distance.
Many newlyweds assume their spouse should “just know” how they feel or what they need, but in reality, open and honest conversations are necessary for a healthy relationship. The Bible says, “To answer before listening—that is folly and shame” (Proverbs 18:13). Many couples struggle because they do not take the time to listen to each other. Instead of seeking to understand, they react emotionally, which can escalate conflicts. Harsh words, passive-aggressive behavior, and silent treatments only deepen wounds and should be avoided at all costs.
Also, some newly married couples avoid difficult conversations out of fear of starting a fight. However, unresolved issues do not disappear—they build up over time, leading to hatred and a gradual distance between both of them. “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry” (Ephesians 4:26) talks about the importance of resolving issues quickly. To strengthen communication, as couples, you must practice active listening, express yourselves honestly but kindly, and be patient with each other. Praying together and seeking God’s wisdom in discussions can also help improve your communication. The word of God reminds us that “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19)
3. Financial Struggles
I often wonder why couples who know each other so well before marriage will suddenly start having a fight over finances. You know your spouse’s financial capability before agreeing to marry, but it’s disheartening when issues like this start arising early in marriage. Money is one of the most common causes of marital conflict, and this is not just happening in marriages today; even old marriages experience the same, but some are mature enough to remain today, unlike today’s generation. Differences in financial habits, unexpected expenses, or lack of financial planning can create tension in a marriage, especially for newlyweds adjusting to responsibilities.
Some couples enter marriage with different financial mindsets—one may be a spender, while the other is a saver. If both fail to discuss financial priorities, disagreements can quickly escalate and result in divorce. The Bible says, “The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is slave to the lender” (Proverbs 22:7), which talks about the dangers of debt in marriage. If a couple starts their marriage with heavy financial burdens, it can cause stress and anxiety. As couples, debt is not a good way to start; don’t do it just to impress society.
Also, you should avoid financial secrecy, such as hidden debts or undisclosed purchases, because such can break trust in a marriage. Be honest with your spouse! Honesty about finances is essential (Proverbs 11:3). To avoid financial struggles leading to divorce, as couples, you should establish a budget, communicate openly about money, and work together toward your financial goals. Trusting God for provision (Philippians 4:19) and practicing good stewardship (Luke 16:10) can help you overcome challenges successfully.
4. Lack of Trust and Infidelity
I was having a conversation with someone about a week ago and we talked about how important trust is in any form of relationship. I made a decision to trust my husband the moment I agreed to marry him. Trust is one of the pillars of marriage, and when it is broken through infidelity or dishonesty, the relationship suffers greatly. Many newlyweds assume that love alone will keep them faithful, but without strong personal discipline and spiritual commitment, temptation can easily creep in, and such is disastrous. In the Bible, Jesus warned about the dangers of unfaithfulness, saying, “Anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28). Infidelity does not always begin with physical acts—it often starts in the mind, through emotional connections outside marriage or inappropriate conversations with someone you’re not married to.
Also, lack of transparency about past relationships, secret social media interactions, and failure to set healthy boundaries can make a marriage vulnerable to infidelity. The Bible says, “A man who commits adultery has no sense; whoever does so destroys himself” (Proverbs 6:32). This is simply scriptural! Trust, once broken, is difficult to rebuild and often leads to separation. That is the painful end it brings at the end. To prevent infidelity, as couples, you must prioritize faithfulness, establish clear boundaries, and remain accountable to each other. Praying together, avoiding situations beyond your control, and seeking counsel always can strengthen trust and protect your marriage (1 Corinthians 10:13).
5. Zero Spiritual Foundation
The major quality I looked for in my husband before I agreed to go ahead with him was his spiritual life. I wasn’t willing to grow old with a man I would constantly push to do spiritual exercises and possibly serve God. The truth is that a marriage without a strong spiritual foundation is vulnerable to attacks. Many newlyweds focus on love and compatibility but neglect the most important aspect of marriage—putting God at the center.
When couples fail to build their relationship on Christ, they get lost trying to manage life challenges, and this often leads to frustration and potential separation. The Bible says, “Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain” (Psalm 127:1). A marriage built solely on emotions or worldly wisdom will struggle when storms arise. Without prayer and obedience to God’s word, you may rely on your own strength, which eventually leads to failure. Without God, it’s impossible to have a successful marriage.
Furthermore, when spouses have different levels of faith or do not share the same spiritual values, issues can arise. There is a question for you: “Can two walk together unless they are agreed” (Amos 3:3)? Lack of spiritual unity often leads to disagreements on major life decisions, such as parenting, financial stewardship, and moral values. To avoid this pitfall, you both must commit to seeking God together through prayer, Bible study, and regular fellowship with other believers. A spiritually strong couple is more likely to withstand the trials of marriage and grow closer to each other in the process. As I experience daily challenges in my marriage, as intentional couples, we still hold onto each other’s hands and depend solely on God to help us through every storm of life.
6. Third Party Interference
Couples need to establish boundaries the moment they start a family. This doesn’t simply mean you don’t want to have anything to do with your families, but there should be a limit to how families and friends interfere in your marital affairs. We agreed as a couple on certain things relating to third parties when we prepared to settle down as husband and wife. Many marriages struggle because of external influences, particularly from family members, friends, or societal pressures. While family support is important, excessive interference from parents or in-laws can create division in a marriage. The Bible states it clearly that, “A man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). As Newlyweds, you must establish boundaries with your families to prevent unnecessary issues or misunderstandings. When a spouse prioritizes parental opinions over their partner’s feelings, issues start arising.
Also, I have heard about people who had issues from friends. Friends can also negatively influence a marriage. Some may discourage faithfulness or push a spouse to compare their marriage to others. I have had friends who advised me to check my husband’s phone regularly to monitor his chats and probably know if he is cheating on me. I never agreed to that! The Bible says, “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm” (Proverbs 13:20). As couples, you must be cautious about whom you seek advice from and ensure your influences align with God’s Word. To safeguard their marriage as Newlyweds, you must put your spouse first, communicate openly about boundaries, and seek guidance from godly mentors. Surround yourself with spiritually mature couples and prioritize your own marital unity and this will help you resist external pressures (1 Corinthians 15:33).
7. Unresolved Conflicts and Unforgiveness
The truth is no marriage is without conflict, but the way we handle disagreements determines the health of our relationship. Some newlyweds struggle because they do not know how to resolve conflicts biblically. Instead of addressing issues, they may ignore problems, allow bitterness to fester, or retaliate in anger. The Bible says, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger… Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:31-32). Many marriages fail because spouses refuse to forgive. Holding onto past mistakes can lead to emotional distance.
Additionally, some couples involve third parties in their conflicts instead of resolving them together. Seeking counsel is sometimes necessary; however, constantly complaining to friends or family members can worsen the situation. To maintain a strong marriage, as couples, you must practice humility, listen to each other’s perspectives, and seek resolution rather than winning arguments. Praying together and allowing God’s Word to guide you in forgiveness and reconciliation will strengthen your bond (Colossians 3:13). Go for it!
Divorce among newly married couples often comes from unmet expectations, lack of communication, financial struggles, infidelity, zero spiritual foundation, third-party influences, and unresolved conflicts. While marriage is a beautiful covenant designed by God, it requires effort, patience, and intentionality to thrive. Jesus taught us that marriage is meant to be a lifelong commitment: “What God has joined together, let no one separate” (Mark 10:9). However, many couples struggle because they do not prepare adequately or fail to seek God’s guidance in their union as they continue. The enemy constantly attacks marriages, knowing they reflect Christ’s love for the church and is capable of remolding society (Ephesians 5:25). To prevent divorce, as couples, you must prioritize God, communicate openly, practice financial wisdom, remain faithful, establish healthy boundaries, and commit to forgiveness. Challenges will arise, but with God’s grace, love, and mutual effort, they will help you overcome them.
Marriage is not just about happiness—it is about holiness, growth, and serving each other in love (Philippians 2:3-4). By embracing the word of God and surrendering your relationship to God, you can build a strong foundation that will withstand life’s storms and bring lasting joy.
May God strengthen you as you seek to honor God in your marriage, guide you in wisdom, patience, and love, in Jesus’ name. Your home will last long, you will grow old with your spouse, and your children and grandchildren will surround your table in Jesus’ name.
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