God is a God of restoration. He’s a God of new beginnings. I don’t know what has gone wrong in your life. Maybe things have gone haywire in your marriage. Or you just stepped out of a relationship that broke your heart. Or it could be that you have gone through so much pain while growing up that you are now stuck.
The good news is that God restores (Joel 2:25-26, Ps. 23:3; 71:20). He promises to give you beauty for ashes, a spirit of praise and not of heaviness, and a double portion for your shame (Isa. 61:3-7). It’s thrilling to know that the nonpareil superhero referred to in the chapter revealing these promises is Christ Himself. I know it’s hard to believe again, to hope again, or move forward. But it’s a new year, and it can be the start of something new. Do you believe?
Isaiah 43:18-19 says something powerful. It says:
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.”
So you see, God is set to do a new thing. But wait, He first requires that you forget the former things and let go of the past. Now that’s a difficult one, eh? How on earth can you do that?
In this piece, I will share helpful ways that you can imbibe to let go of the past and move forward boldly into the beautiful future that God has for you. I pray it blesses your heart. Without further ado, let’s begin.
How To Let Go of the Past And Move Forward Boldly
1 Acknowledge the Past Without Living in It
It is a futile chase to think that we can ignore the past and move on. It is futile not because we cannot shelve pain into some closet in our hearts, but because the problem with shelving it is that once there’s a trigger, we take it and become resentful again.
One of the best ways to deal with the past and move forward is by acknowledging it. This is where you have to be honest with yourself. You have to sit with it, tell yourself that it actually happened, identify what hurt, who you’re holding in your cell of offenders, and the things that still trigger that hurt. It is a hard and humbling process, because it feels like reopening your wounds all over again.
But sometimes, it is all you need to move forward. Now, as you acknowledge the past, refuse pertinently to stay bound in it. Choose to believe that you can overcome with God’s power working within you. A journal can be helpful in processing your pain. Ask God to search your heart, and hold nothing back (Ps. 139:23-24).
2. Practice Intentional Forgiveness
After being honest with yourself, you may realize that there has been so much hurt caused by others, say your spouse, ex, or a figure in your life when you were growing up. The memories themselves may make you cringe and you may flare up in anger all over again.
Now, I must tell you that it’s okay to feel hurt. In fact, it’s okay to be angry at the injustice done to you. But there’s something that will not be okay. When you dwell on the hurt, and you refuse to forgive. Forgiving the people who hurt you can be challenging, especially if they’re close or it seems you have lost a significant part of your life because of them. But it is necessary.
Holding people in a mental prison is actually an illusion. This is because they’re walking free, while you writhe in bitterness. You have to let go (Col. 3:13) and choose to quit the blame game. Rather, take responsibility for your actions. Learn to forgive yourself, and if necessary, God too – not because He needs your forgiveness, but because you choose to quit blaming Him for the hurt.
3. Stop Rehearsing Old Failures
Imagine you had a permanent Christmas ringtone set on your phone. Even though it’s a very valid ringtone, it will sound weird if people hear it playing every single day because not every day is Christmas. Although a Christmas ringtone is surely more worthy than old failures, you can agree that no one likes it when you keep repeating what has happened in the past.
While it’s a good thing to have acknowledged your past and to be honest about it, continually going back to it only keeps you stuck. It’s true that there are times when these can come back to memory, even though you’re truly healing. But you don’t have to intentionally keep reminding yourself or others about the past.
When God forgives us, He puts our past behind Him (Ps. 103:12). He never brings it up again. It is only the tactic of the accuser because he knows how powerful guilt is. For the sake of those you love, and even for yourself, ask God for grace to “forget”. Or better still, remember – not with regret, but with hope.
4. Release Unrealistic Expectations of the Future
Sometimes the past hurts us because of what we envisioned the future to be. Maybe you dreamed of a happy marriage without problems, or that you would be happily married to the love of your life now. Still, maybe you look back and wish that if some things had not occurred while you were growing up, your future would be better.
One thing we must all realize is that the word, “perfect” does not characterize this earth. There are bound to be missing pages, things you consider jargon, or unexpected skips in the story God is writing with your life. So you need to make peace with what happened and realize that this is a fallen world.
As humans, we may plan our course, but only God can establish our steps and make our stories beautiful (Prov. 16:9). Why don’t you fall in love with the idea that this is a real world not a fantasy, yet God is supreme. Not just that, He loves you and will work all things for your good just like He did for Joseph (Rom. 8:28, Gen. 50:20).
5. Redefine Identity Beyond Pain
There’s a tendency to see yourself in the light of the misfortune that may have happened to you. Maybe you had a divorce, or a breakup, or a rejection, betrayal, or you were abused while growing up. Without even realizing it, you can begin to associate yourself with these false labels.
You know the bad thing about it? Our identity most often influences our actions or choices. If you see yourself as unworthy of love and only doomed for rejection, you will act that way and even miss out on genuine people who come your way.
You must redefine your identity in the light of the Truth of God’s Word. You must learn to see yourself as God sees you. You are redeemed, blessed, whole, complete, worthy, accepted, valuable, and loved, not because of anything you have done, or anything others have or have not done to you, but because of Christ, who He is, and what He has done (See Eph. 1).
6. Relearn Trust — Gently and Wisely
People hurt people – intentionally or unintentionally. It’s natural, even when we follow Christ truly. When you have been hurt, the natural inclination is to retreat into a shell or become overly defensive. When you choose the former, it’s quite easy to become suspicious of others.
Trusting others becomes hard. And you may even close your heart to love completely. While that can look on the surface as a good defense mechanism, it can become a problem when you can no longer trust and be vulnerable with genuine people who can help you.
In such a case, you have to learn to trust again – slowly but wisely. Guard your heart without walling good people out (Prov. 4:23). And remember to show compassion to yourself. You’re learning, growing, and healing. Got that?
7. Choose Growth Over Comfort
The process of overcoming what has happened to you in the past is not always a walk in the park. No one likes confronting the hurt, but it is necessary if you must move forward into the abundance that God has for you. That’s why you must choose growth over comfort.
Growth may vary. For you, it may be identifying triggers and unlearning unhealthy patterns that predispose you to wrong behavior. One of the best ways to do this is by committing to studying God’s Word. It has the power to renew your mind and transform your life (Rom. 12:2). You may also need to seek a Christian counselor or therapist, or maybe a mature believer who listens with mercy, not judgment.
Books, podcasts, and blogs can help too, but it’s helpful to look for people who have walked a similar path as yours, not because they’re perfect, but because if you find their story relatable, it shows you what works. But be careful who you follow so you don’t end up worse than before. Okay?
8. Create New Memories to Replace Old Pain
Just as old memories can be stored and can accumulate to cause deep pain, so new memories can be created to replace them. I’m a fan of worship music. I like to feel deeply what I listen to. But one day I could feel God telling me that I hardly sang songs magnifying God. I only sang songs telling of His sovereignty in the pain I felt. While that wasn’t all that wrong, if I wanted a different result, I needed a new input.
In your case, it must not be a change of music, though that can really help to shift your perspective. It can be a change of environment if you’re still single, or an intentional date with your spouse where you remember what made you fall in love in the first place. Then you follow it up with more interesting memories, and don’t forget to make faith-based confessions that will shape a new reality for you (2 Cor. 4:13).
Refuse to look, sound, or act pathetically. While it’s true that there’s a ton of memories that got you bitter and resentful in the first place, you can overcome them with richer and more helpful memories. Refuse to dwell on the past. Believe God crazily and move forward in faith!
9. Invite God Into the New Chapter
This might be the last on my list, but it’s the most important. Many times, we try to change ourselves or motivate ourselves to good behavior. But what we forget is that only God can cause us to grow (1 Cor. 3:6). Only His Spirit can bring about change from the inside out (2 Cor. 3:18).
The enemy does not really need to physically torture you. All he needs to do is keep you in a mental prison that keeps you stuck and hinders you from entering boldly the beautiful future that God has for you. Because you’re not just fighting your own past, you need to take those wrong thoughts captive to Christ (2 Cor. 10:4-5).
Invite God into your healing process. Many a time we think He doesn’t care, and we even blame Him for our circumstances. But that is wrong. He truly cares (Ps. 34:18, 1 Pet. 5:7, Phil. 4:6-7). He’s not the author of pain, and your pain is never inane. He can surely write a new chapter in your story if you let Him. Will you let Him?
To conclude, you must remember that letting go of the past and moving forward boldly is not a crash course. Just like it has taken some time for you to get hurt, you also need time to heal. So be patient with yourself, others, and the process. Take one step of faith at a time, and intentionally keep ‘forgetting’ what is behind and straining towards what is ahead (Phil. 3:13-14).
Remember that God loves you. And even though the enemy has taken what you cherish, God has come to restore and give you the abundant life He’s promised you (Jn. 10:10). So hold onto it by faith. Now, what are you still waiting for? Prepare to move forward boldly, champ (Deut. 1:6-8). Your future awaits. Peace!
Written for Smartcouples.net © 2026. All rights reserved.
Oh, to see ourselves the way God sees us. Again, how much we try, even ‘try harder’ to do the right things, forgetting that ‘apart from him we can do nothing.’
Funny that I thought about that this morning, of how many times I keep failing cos I keep trying my best while in reality I really am helpless on my own.
So, what I gather is, we need to make peace with our past, open ourselves up to God’s help in the present, and keep taking bold steps of faith as we trust God to orchestrate our future.
I pray I always keep this in mind. Thank you. 💜