14 Ways To Resolve Marital Conflicts – How To Resolve Marital Conflicts, Part 1
Marriage is a union of two individuals who willingly choose to be and live together, to understand each other, to work and share resources with each other. It’s a fusion, sort of, of two minds to form one mind which then acts as a guiding and leading principle within their home. It involves two people of unlike characters who come together being aware of the differences that they have, but decide to share common interests and pursue shared visions and goals predetermined by both as a couple for the good of the union.
Although the union works better when both couples are decision-makers, it’s not always free of conflicts. A marital conflict is any misunderstanding that could lead to an acrimonious quarrel or dispute, a disagreement, or an altercation, a separation or the dissolution of marriage. This is why the subject of this article, “14 ways to resolve marital conflicts” is important for every union, for every spouse and potential spouse to understand.
No union wishes for trouble or aspires for the worse. It’s always “till death do us part,” but we see divorce set when they are not yet dead. Being alive, they embrace the dissolution of their marriages and embark on their separate ways as a solution to their marital predicaments.
But I have good news for you who are married or in a relationship. You don’t have to be too quick to divorce your spouse yet. I can understand the level of anger and hate that reign during such bad moments in marriage but the truth is that a solution could be reached without losing the one you once loved. I mean without divorce necessarily. I want to share with you these 14 ways to resolve marital conflicts to help you be on top of your game if you find yourself in one.
With these 14 ways to resolve marital conflicts, you as a couple shall be empowered to see serious disagreements or arguments, typically a protracted one, in a whole different light. You would be slowed to negative vibes and see resources from which to help your union get better and through the predicaments. Shall we start with one of the 13 ways to resolve marital conflict?
1) The First Is The Belief That No Marriage Is Perfect
That’s exactly what it is. No marriage is perfect. People can have family squabbles, but no one enjoys it. Couples do clash at times but aren’t separated or divorced. It’s not uncommon to have misunderstanding set-in in the course of living together with someone you love. No marriage is perfect, but every marriage is workable or manageable.
To say that no marriage is perfect doesn’t imply that all marriages have problems or that all couples do fight at home. No, some do not fight at all. Some are very peaceful and are doing very well as far as relationship goals are concerned. The thing is that they have learned how to manage their issues well and make their relationship work for them. The real perfection in marriage is the perfect knowledge that those involved are imperfect beings aiming for perfection.
2) Have A Positive Mindset To Resolve Marital Conflicts
Everything centers on the mind. Defeat or victory is on the mind. Your main battle is internal and not necessarily external. The battle is that of the mind first. When the marital battle is lost, it was lost already on your mind level. The way you positioned your mind towards a problem can determine the outcome of that problem.
If you have given up on someone and believe that it can’t work out between you both, no amount of help can make it work. Not because the help isn’t good enough but because you don’t believe in it or want it to be better. You don’t aspire to the amelioration of the situation. If Your mind doesn’t see a future with your spouse, you will probably not be with your spouse for long together. If Your mind doesn’t see a workable marital solution. It won’t work out even when efforts are made.
But all these could be reversed by simply changing your psyche, your mindset about your own marriage. Think positively about your troubled marriage to see positive results when you start working toward fixing it. Remember the last statement of the first point :
The real perfection in marriage is the perfect knowledge that those involved are imperfect beings aiming for perfection. Aim with a positive outlook!
3) Accept The Fact That You’re Not Alone
The Bible says that there’s nothing new under the sun, that includes your marital predicaments too (Ecclesiastes 1:9). No matter what you are going through, it can be well again because it has happened before. No, no, not with you but with others somewhere at some point in time. Marital issues, though painful, aren’t new to this world.
Some people at certain generations faced what might be facing you now. But the comfort it brings to mind is that you aren’t alone. That also settles the issue of blaming it on yourself. Please, there should be no “Why me, why me” involved here because there are a thousand others than yourself which you know not of. If you’re not alone and it has happened to others before, then there’s a solution to the problem. It too shall come to pass.
4) Always Be Prayerful
I think the most important exercise that couples should do daily is prayer exercise. If you imbibe the prayer exercise into your union, your union would be made up of three people. Not just you and your spouse but God comes in as well. When God is involved, there’s divine protection from unseen forces that humans know little of.
They are some family issues that aren’t natural and are caused by spirits. But these are taken care of by the Lord when you stay prayerful. Besides, the Bible tells us to pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:16). We do not pray just when things are good but when they are equally bad. We Pray in the morning, at noon, in the evening and at nighttime. All these periods are good for prayers, and even places whether at home, in the car or office. Christian couples pray throughout the day. Remember that couple in disagreement, in discord, hostility or dissension, may have unanswered prayers because these bad vibes hinder your prayers as couples. So try not to be in conflict with your spouse before praying. Avoid conflict as quickly as possible before praying. For prayer protects your union (1 Peter 3:7).
5) Seek The Help Of A Professional Marital Counselor
Note that I mentioned “Professional” not a wack. Not everyone is comfortable to tell their private issues to others but some do. There are people who are trained to counsel on issues bordering relationships. They are also called relationship experts and pundits. And they do counsel for a living too. This implies that you may be charged for the services rendered to you.
Marital Counselors help you analyze your predicaments and walk you through a solution if you cooperate with them. They help identify where abuse is evident and offer existing solutions and prevention to ameliorate your situation. But be sure that you are very comfortable with the choice of counselor and methods of counseling offered. In no situation should you be pushed, or coerced to do something against your own wish.
Every session must be what you are comfortable with. If you find comfort in the presence of a counselor, you don’t have to lie about your situation. Just be honest and get the help you need.
6) Seek Spiritual Help
With regard to your religion, I believe that there are spiritual heads that can help with marital issues confronted by their believers or worshipers or the faithful. They help offer spiritual solutions and principles guiding marriages to resolve them. These leaders include church Pastors and Priests for the Christians, Imams and the Muslim clerics for the Muslims, the Rabbis for Judaism faith, including the Hindus, Buddhists and many other followers of religions out there have certain spiritual leaders to help guide them during a marital crisis.
I will briefly speak on the Christian faith because I am a believer and of the opinion that the Bible offers so much to help resolve a marital crisis. I said so much, not all the solutions there is. Bible solutions are only possible and effective if you believe and do what it says. And Pastors and Priests, grounded in the word of God, can help interpret the scripture to culprits and victims of marital abuse.
7) Self-Study Online Marital Resources
You can listen, watch or read online resources concerning marriage to help you develop a better understanding of relationships with your loved ones. Read or watch videos from websites that focus on sound teachings on couples’ lives and goals. But be sure that what you read at such sites are healthy intellectually. Because there are lots of garbage out there in the name marital counseling and teachings which do not do the job. They do more harm to your already existing marital and family issues.
Websites like www.smartcouples.net and others are also free online resources talking about marriage on a variety of subjects. Spend some time there to self-study online. Your time invested shall surely pay dividends in your marital life and relationship.
We have covered seven of the 14 ways to resolve marital conflicts which are: The Belief That No Marriage Is Perfect, to Have A Positive Mindset To Resolve Marital Conflicts, to Accept The Fact That You’re Not Alone, to Be Prayerful Always, to Seek The Help Of A Professional Marital Counselor, to Seek Spiritual Help, and Self-Study Online Marital Resources.
We shall continue with the second part in the subsequent article. However, what ways have been helpful to you at the moment of marital crisis? Has this article been a blessing to you? Click here to continue reading!
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