10 Ways You Can Practice Sacrificial Love In A Relationship
In an earlier post, I gave an introduction to the concept of sacrificial love. I also clearly outlined why it’s important and not a waste of your precious time. But then, if we are to show sacrificial love, how on Earth can we show it? I pray this piece is enlightening, as it will show you ten (10) ways you can practice sacrificial love in your relationship. May it bless your heart and spur you to be like Jesus. Do read on.
Ways You Can Practice Sacrificial Love in Your Relationship
1. Pray for your partner (James 5:16)
To me, there’s really nothing more romantic than praying for the one(s) you love. There’s this feeling of peace and security that comes with knowing that you are being interceded for in the highest court above all – the Courts of Heaven. Praying for the one you love demands sacrifice on your part. Yes, it’s fulfilling, but it takes intentionality, consistency, and genuine concern.
It takes a lot to realize that rather than lash out at your partner’s imperfections or failings, you can instead intercede and trust God to help them. It takes a heart of sacrifice to consistently pray for someone, especially when you are hurt or the partner is unappreciative. I can imagine how Jesus prayed for the very people who would abandon and crucify Him, and how He still intercedes for us every moment before the Father, and pursues us with an unselfish heart (See Jn. 17, Heb. 7:25). Hey, don’t be discouraged. It always pays to pray. It’s from your lips to God’s ears. And boy! He is faithful!
2. Be involved and listen (Jas. 1:19)
I have a sister who is way more extroverted than I am. She’s someone who seems made for the spotlight – the stage. At first, it was very difficult for me to come out of my own life and really be involved in hers. But one thing that experience has taught me is that true sacrificial love cares deeply about the other. It’s not just in the words (1 Jn. 3:18). It’s about being willing to listen even when that’s not your favorite thing to do.
It’s about not talking only about yourself. It’s about sitting there, watching your partner with keen interest and truly listening. It’s about showing up for things that matter to them. It’s about asking the important questions even when you’d rather pass. And yeah, it’s about avoiding distractions like technology so that you can really be there for your partner.
3. Spend quality time with your partner (Eph. 5:16)
A fact I have come to realize is that we live in a very busy, fast-paced world. There’s always something to do, someone to meet, and some new project to complete. With all this busyness, it’s so easy to miss out on what truly matters. One of the greatest ways to show love to your partner is by giving your time. And this doesn’t mean you will always have free time. But you create it for the one you love – sometimes, even when you’re tired.
It sends the message: “I have a sports match with my friends, but because you matter to me, I am willing to let go of that to spend time with you.” It could be a walk, or a date night, or even time alone in a quiet, serene environment. Our Lord Jesus loves it when we spend time with Him. It shows that we love and prioritize Him, and I know He also loves to spend time with us, listening to our thoughts and how we feel. That’s true love expressed through sacrifice.
4. Be empathetic (Gal. 6:2)
It’s amazing to think that Jesus listens to every single thing we say to Him without getting tired or worn out – even if we repeat the same things every day and grumble and complain as He binds us. He doesn’t stand porter to accuse us, but welcomes us in (Jn. 3:16-17). And He’s always genuinely concerned and involved in every area of our lives (as long as we yield them to Him). He’s a good Friend and Partner. And that’s the kind of partner He will like you to be. It takes a whole lot of sacrifice to place your partner’s needs above yours.
It takes sacrificial love not to lash out at your partner, but really understand them. Your partner may have a bad past or a bad day. Your duty is not to judge (Matt. 7:1-2). It doesn’t mean that you accommodate wrong. But it means that you do not cast the first stone. Not only that, but your partner can come back from work tired, or may be unwell and may not be able to carry out his/her usual tasks. Maybe business might be slow or he/she is having a hard time at his/her job. What makes you a good, sacrificial partner is that rather than nag, you empathize and together, try to draft out solutions.
5. Speak kindly (Eph. 4:29)
You never know the effect of your words until maybe your partner confides in you. Your partner may have grown believing that he/she is incapable, unloved, or does not matter. Or may have done things he/she regrets now. And thanks to the many words spoken to him/her, it has confirmed and depressed him/her further. The last thing he/she needs is you reminding him/her of his/her failures. Like we said above, be empathetic enough to speak words that heal not hurt, even when you’re tempted to do otherwise.
It doesn’t mean that your partner will always be a sweetheart. He/she may irk you. But you have a choice: to speak words that build up and spur your partner to be better, or you can simply reinforce the mindset that your partner may be healing from. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather go with the former. You never know what a kind word spoken with true love can do in your partner. Keep your word and your promises too. You can try it and see.
6. Choose to say sorry and forgive – even when it hurts (Eph. 4:32)
Even the best, godliest, faith-filled couples encounter problems. It’s impossible to always be in your partner’s good books. Some things done to you may not even be intentional, but you may find them offensive. Now what marks the difference between a couple that truly knows Jesus and those who do not is that, a partner who truly knows Jesus knows how to say sorry. Sometimes, even when the fault is not entirely theirs.
They’re the ones quick to lay down their pride and aim for reconciliation to keep the peace. The devil thrives in chaos and conflict. A godly partner well aware of this does not give him a foothold (Eph. 4:26-27). But it’s beyond that. True sacrificial love always goes above and beyond for the ones it loves. And it strives to forgive – even when it hurts – just like Jesus.
7. Think of random acts of kindness that matter to them (Heb. 10:24)
On my last birthday, I was wowed. I had never received such presents before. But it was beyond the presents. It was the heart behind them. The heart that thought about things I really needed and gave them to me. You know, it’s good to do random acts of kindness for the ones you love, but it gets better when you devote your time to the thinking process to find out what your partner will truly appreciate.
Maybe it’s help with work, or something they are praying for earnestly, or maybe it’s helping them resolve a lingering issue. Think about the man at the Beautiful Gate. He only asked for money. But the Holy Spirit through Peter and John gave him what he truly needed – a new life without disability and with Christ (See Acts 3). There’s a kind of joy that comes with someone receiving a gift or much needed help just when they need it. And God always blesses the one whose eyes are on the lookout for thoughtful ways to be a blessing (Ps. 33:18-19). It’s not too late to be one.
8. Be faithful and committed to them (Jer. 3:12)
I would say that this is one of the greatest acts of love. Throughout the Bible, we see God’s love story with us. He never did get tired, did He? And He’s not even now. It’s not because we are always in our best behaviour. It’s because He has simply committed to loving us and He is not going to change His mind ever! Being committed and faithful to your spouse is not only about sexual fidelity.
Though that is very important (Heb. 13:4). But it also entails sticking with your imperfect partner, walking hand in hand with them and spurring them to growth. It takes a partner who truly loves sacrificially to be committed enough and never give up until he/she sees Christ formed in his/her partner, his/her partner becoming all that God has created them to be, and even seeing his/her partner’s wildest dreams come into fruition. Are you this kind of partner?
9. Give without expectation (2 Cor. 9:7)
Givers never lack. If you give, you receive (Lk. 6:38). It’s a spiritual principle. But there’s a ring to it. So many times we’re tempted or should I say, motivated to give only because we want to receive it back. But is that truly a sacrifice? When Jesus came to the world and gave His life, I doubt that He was expecting anything from us in return (not that we could ever pay Him though), but He did it knowing that not everyone would even receive His gift and love Him in return.
It takes a heart of love that truly sacrifices to give and keep on giving without expecting anything in return. It takes this kind of heart to give selflessly, not just material things but even the totality of your being to your partner (after you have surrendered to God, though). And God is always faithful. He sees and He blesses. Maybe your partner doesn’t see it yet, but I’m telling you, with consistency, he/she will surely begin to see, and you’d be the grateful one.
10. Be committed to growth (1 Cor. 14:20)
I placed this last because even though we’re children of God, aiming for perfection, we’re still a work in progress. So you may not be all 100% in the qualities above. It takes a heart of sacrifice to really sit and ponder. If your partner has been selfless with you, have you been that way too? Has your partner lovingly corrected you for a flaw you have? It’s selfish to want your partner to accept you as you are, and you’re not ready to grow, yet you want him/her to be Mr. or Mrs Perfect for you.
It doesn’t work that way. Even God who accepts us as we are doesn’t delight in us remaining as we are (Eph. 4:12-13). He wants us to put in the effort to grow. So, dare to try out new things. Work out plans that with God’s help can help you improve on your flaws, take care of your body, strive to bring delight to your partner (as long as it doesn’t bring displeasure to God). Be willing to change, to improve, to be transformed, to be better. Then you will see God’s power through your weakness. Dare to grow!
To conclude, I doubt that anyone is born with a heart of sacrifice. We’re naturally inclined towards being selfish. It’s natural. But because it’s natural doesn’t mean its right. Since you’re a child of God, you have to think and act like God (Eph. 5:1).
And one way to do that is to practice sacrificial love. This love cannot be manufactured. God first loves you and sheds His love abroad in your own heart. When you have received it, He gives you the power to love others too by the help of His Holy Spirit. Now the question remains:
Will you partner with Him?
You cannot imagine the blessings and fulfilment that await you and your relationship. He’s just waiting for your yes. Say yes! Shalom.
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