THE 7 DIVINE PURPOSES OF MARRIAGE
Work is cool. But you can agree with me that it can be draining at times. Thank the good Lord, however, for conversations. Some weeks back, I got into a little chit-chat with some of my colleagues at work. Guess what our conversation bordered on? Marriage.
One of the guys was asked about his plans for life after school. In his opinion, marriage was not a thing he was hoping for so soon enough. Of course, he must have had his reasons for that and I am sure that they are valid. But then he said something else which was of interest to me. In his words, “I need to enjoy my life before I get married and have to start explaining my every move to someone.”
Truly, that may be a valid thought. But it got me thinking: Is marriage a trap? Is it some concept the universe has conjured up to make us slaves to each other? Or is there more to it?
My curiosity got the best of me. So I decided to dig deeper. This piece will reveal some of my findings to you. It will expose you to the purposes for which marriage was created. And beyond that, let you in on who actually created it. I pray your eyes be opened as mine were.
Without further ado, let’s begin.
Who authored the marriage “idea”?
The first-ever union recorded in the Bible was spoken into being by a Person. Two individuals did not just find each other and say, “Hey, I think I like you. Let’s go start a home.” On the contrary, scripture records that in the beginning of creation, God in His infinite glory, might, and wisdom brought a woman to a man. In fact, He created the woman out of the man. And then from this, the union called marriage was formed (Gen.2.24).
So the author of marriage was the Maker and Giver of every good and perfect gift – God! (Jas. 1:17). But we’re left with a question: why would God create marriage in the first place? From our opening story, was it to trap us in a union with some human being who we may have never known until we met? Or did He have other plans? Let’s find out.
God’s purposes for the union called marriage:
1. Marriage serves as a model of God’s true love story:
In the Old Testament, especially in the books of the Prophets, we see God taking the position of a husband married to Israel, His bride (Jer. 3:8, Hos. 1:2). Moving forward in the New Testament, we see our Lord Jesus called Himself the Bridegroom (Matt. 9:15; 25:1-12). In later epistles, we can see our Lord Jesus being referred to as the husband whilst the church is the bride (Rev. 21:2). And He desires a relationship with us (Tit. 3:7 MSG).
Strikingly enough, one day, there is to be a marriage supper of the Lamb! (Rev. 19:7-9) Interesting, eh? From our knowledge of God, we know that He is a wise God who plans out everything in a unique fashion. He’s not some haphazard, confused Being (1 Cor. 14:33). He is an intentional God. When He created the earthly tabernacle, He says it was a shadow of the one in Heaven (Heb. 8:5). So, we can infer that our earthly marriages are a shadow of our true union with Christ.
When Paul speaks about husbands and wives in Ephesians 5:21-33, he ends by saying that he speaks about a mystery: Christ and the church. Marriage shows how a loving Husband provides, protects, nourishes, cares and even lays down His life for His bride. His bride on the other hand willingly submits to Him because she is confident in His love for her.
So, in simple terms, marriage is an institution that models God’s relationship with us, His bride. God is telling His own love story to the world through our union of marriage. The beauty of the Gospel is first seen through our marriages. This is one of the major “why’s” of marriage.
2. Marriage is for companionship:
Another reason for which God ordained marriage is so that both males and females can have partners suitable for them. Life is great, yet full of ups and downs. We all need people that we can go through the journey with that will hold our hands, encourage us, share our joys and woes, and lead us on the eternal path to freedom.
When God created the woman for the man, He said that it was not a good thing for the man to be alone. He needed someone complementary to him – not an animal or a fellow man like him (Gen. 2:18-20). He said this not just because Adam would need a gist-mate but because he (Adam) would need a helpmeet. What would he need help with? The taking care of the garden of Eden and tending it (Gen. 2:15).
So, we see that God purposed marriage as a means by which two people who have chosen to commit to each other in a marital union – with God as witness – hold hands, walk through life and serve God’s purpose of keeping His creation.
3. Marriage is for sanctification:
After Paul had outlined God’s instructions for the man to love his wife and for the wife to submit to her husband, he says that the purpose of this is for their sanctification (Eph. 5:26-27).
Marriage is the institution that tests what is really in the hearts of two individuals. When people stay together, they irk each other sometimes, and the same holds true in marriage. Even being faithful to your spouse for life can be a test.
When God asks the woman to be submissive (not passive or rebellious), He says this not because he hates her or feels her opinion to be irrelevant, but because He is aware that by her doing so, she will experience true freedom. This is same for the church that is submissive to Christ.
Again, when husbands truly give up themselves for the sake of their wives; unselfishly loving them and considering them to be a part of them, they make submission a thing of willingness for their wives. Husbands who love, honor, respect and value their wives gain wives who are confident, submissive, have a strong identity and are proud of their husbands.
Either way, when the husband and the wife choose to honor God in their marriage through love and submission, they come to experience true freedom. This is a benefit of one of the purposes of God for their marriage, which is their sanctification.
4. Marriage is for enjoyment and obtaining of God’s favor:
Every woman is her happiest on her wedding day. And yeah, I know that the wedding day may not be everything, but I am confident that the delight associated with love is something that God has orchestrated. One of the purposes of marriage is that God wants us to enjoy life with the one we love (Prov. 5:18). He wants to see us smile – as we hold hands – through the joyful days as well as the sad; the rosy as well as the thorny.
God also says that he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord (Prov. 18:22). This means that we invite the blessings and favor of God upon our homes and lives when we get married. Now, do not take this to mean that being single or unmarried means you’re some “cursed” lady or gentleman. But I believe that there’s that special dose of favor that comes upon children of God when they find God’s partner for them.
Again, on the more intimate part, sexual intimacy and romance is something that God wants for His two kids who are in love and have been united before Him in marriage. God does want His children to enjoy themselves in marriage. He’s not calling them to love and submit because He wants to wring the joy and fun out of their lives, but because He intends to show them a more enjoyable way to live!
5. Marriage is for procreation:
Who loves that giggly little angel in her mama’s arms? I know I do. And I am sure you do too. One of the purposes for marriage is found in God’s command for us to multiply and fill the earth (Gen. 1:28). And this we achieve when we have kids. Now, this does not mean in any way that couples without kids are not fulfilling God’s purpose for marriage. No, not at all. A couple without kids can still fulfill God’s purpose for marriage even “better” than a couple with tons of babies when they choose to walk and act “in Christ.”
It is God’s desire for us to raise godly offspring that will take over our work of tending, keeping and exercising dominion over God’s beautiful creation (Gen. 18:19, Mal. 2:15).
The only legal way God has endorsed this is through marriage. So, yeah. God has purposed marriage so we can delight in, raise and train our kids to know, love and serve Him. He calls them His gifts (Ps. 127:3). He gives them liberally to His children. However, if you’re still awaiting this gift, know that He’s just right at your door.
6. Marriage is for completeness:
A part of the man was taken to create the woman. And God says that the two will be united and become one flesh (Gen. 2:24). I do not know why, but there’s this wholeness that the number “one” suggests. Of course, we find our completeness and wholeness in our unity with Christ Jesus (Eph. 1:23). But when two individuals come together, they bring their broken pieces, unite together and thenceforth, complement each other.
Truly, I have observed that there is no perfect partner. People naturally are full of imperfections. But I can say that when two partners bring their imperfect pieces – like those in a jigsaw puzzle – they can create the whole, perfect picture. Of course, this is not possible without faith in Christ and through the mighty power of the Spirit of God working through them as they yield to Him.
As a couple complements each other, they are reinforced. They grow stronger and their marriage can stand the test of time – like a three-corded rope (Eccl. 4:12). By so doing, they show the beauty of the Gospel as God intends – imperfect people being united to a perfect God who transforms them and makes them whole (2 Cor. 3:18).
7. Marriage is for the glory of God
Everything in the universe exists to show forth the glory and splendor of the God of all creation (Hab. 2:14). When God had finished creating the universe, He said that it was good – including marriage. I feel that God loves to gaze at us and just see His masterpiece shining forth. The same goes for our marriages. When we choose to honor Him in our relationships with our spouses, we put a smile on His face. I can feel Him saying, “Hey, watch my people live out my purpose!” And He glories in this. He glories in our marriages. He glories in us (1 Cor. 10:31).
Yeah, the delight He gives us; the offspring He blesses us with; the friendship we enjoy with our partners; the wholeness; freedom; our faithfulness and commitment to our spouses; and just about every blessed package we enjoy in marriage – even the hard lessons we learn, are all to result in us glory to God. God should see our marriages and know that He did not make a mistake. He should be pleased that His purpose is being actualized. The world too should be able to see His great light shining through our union, so they also can glorify Him (Matt. 5:16). Surely, this is a purpose for marriage.
To conclude, the late Myles Monroe once said: “When a purpose for a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable.” I hope this piece has exposed you to the divine purposes of marriage. If you’re married already, there’s always a chance to get better or make a U-turn. And if you’re in the “single-hood,” I believe this has opened your eyes to the beauty of marriage as God intended. You know, it’s not a trap after all.
Till I write to you again,
Live with purpose, and love right.
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