10 Tips For Couples To Start The Year On The Right Foot
It always feels good to start something new. Perhaps a new job, hobby, or business. What about getting married or having a new baby? It brings with it a lot of thrills and you just can’t help but gush at the chuckles scattered a little here and there. Maybe you’re not celebrating a new baby or a new marriage, but hey! It’s a new year!
I am sure there are thrills down your spine, and I have no idea what your previous year was like. But I am confident that God is set to do a new thing in your life as a couple and as a family (Is. 43:19). Seasons change, you know (Eccl. 3:1). Though sometimes they can be unpredictable, you have a God who is unchanging and holds your life in His precious hands (Ps. 107:27, Lk. 12:6-7). He watches over you carefully and guides your every step (Ps. 23:3; 25:9).
However, to get the best of anything – including the new year – you will agree with me that it is beneficial to prepare for it. Take a cue from God. He had planned the salvation story from creation (Gen. 3:15). Do you see now why it is epic? But back to our point, this piece will show you how you can start the year on the right foot as two lovebirds who desire to make and witness lasting progress.
Ready? Let us dive in!
Ways by which you can start the year on the right foot as a couple
1. Set aside some time to be alone together (Mk. 1:35)
Yes, this means you both should go on a retreat – a moment when both of you can be still together and listen to God and each other. A retreat does not have to be for a whole week or day (though if you can, why not?). You can simply select a night when you and your spouse can be alone together, without distractions, so you can review and reflect on the past year. Also, you can share the joys and woes you encountered throughout the year.
Try not to do this simply as a necessity. Get a day and time that is convenient for you both so you can make the most of it. In your time alone together, commit what you are about to do to God so that it will end in praise and be a success (Ps. 37:5-7).
2. Review and Reflect on the Past Year (Ps. 143:5)
Now that you are together, take some time to take a brief mental flashback of the past year. Did you set goals at the beginning of the year? Were there resolutions you made? Did you intend to work on certain habits? Did you intend to love more? How about time with your kids? Was there any improvement? Take time to dig deep into your hearts and answer these questions honestly.
Make sure you ask for your partner’s feedback to ensure that your thoughts are in perspective, and you are seeing everything from the right angles. It is important to review the past year because it lets you see any progress you have made as a couple and as a home. Beyond that, it shows you where you may be lagging and may need to put in more work.
As you consider these, it will be helpful to ask yourselves: why were we not able to achieve this? How were we able to pull through with this? Did we take on more than we planned to take on – more than we could handle? Then see if you can find out the reasons behind your actions and inactions. Also, be sure to compliment your partner for
a job well done, and please, do not criticize but encourage and spur your partner on if there seems to be no visible growth.
3. Express gratitude for all that has happened (1 Thess. 5:18)
Yeah, yeah. I know. It may not have been your favorite year, but what does God say to do? Be thankful (Eph. 5:4,19,20). Things may have not gone your way, or maybe God blew your mind away. Still yet, don’t you think He deserves a thank you? Truly, if you look deep down, there’s something to be grateful for. An old hymn says to count your blessings and then you can marvel at just how much God came through for you, your partner, and your family throughout the year. There’s power in gratitude. Those who learn to say “thanks” are overwhelmed with blessings on every side. So, together, tell God a big “thank you.” Oh, and tell each other too. You have done a whole lot.
4. Forgive and let go of past hurts (Col. 3:13)
Because it can be so easy for you to have stepped on the feet of your partner or kids during the year, take this time to lay off every weight. Ask yourselves if there are any offenses hidden deep down that need revealing. Are there any secrets that need not be concealed? Now is the time to confess them and seek forgiveness so that you both may obtain healing for yourselves and the relationship.
This is biblical and when we confess our sins to God and to each other, we obtain God’s forgiveness and His smile on our relationships (Jas. 5:16). Make it a priority to also forgive yourself if you have made mistakes and seek forgiveness from your Father in Heaven. This is so that you do not carry unnecessary burdens to the next year. Freedom tastes good, you know.
5. Seek God’s will for the New Year (1 Chr. 16:11, Hab. 2:1-3)
Now that you have no burden weighing you down, and you are sure that you are not in your partner’s “Diary of Offenders,” you can look to God to know His mind for you both as a couple and as a family concerning the new year. Pray together and trust that God is there with you because He is (Matt. 18:20). Pour out your hearts to Him (Lam. 2:19, Ps. 62:8). Let Him see your failures, shortcomings, and successes.
Ask Him where you need to change. Ask Him where you need to be better. Then trust Him and seek His strength to carry you throughout the year and beyond. Jesus loves you and He is always willing to help (Jn. 3:16, Jer. 31:3, Rom. 8:32, Isa. 30:18). If you cannot hear Him say something specific to you, then go ahead to make your goals, but ensure that they are aligned with Scripture and reflect His purposes for you. Be sure to trust Him to guide you.
6. Share your dreams and goals together (Eph. 3:20 AMP)
After listening to God’s will concerning your relationship and family, it will be a good time to revisit your goals and dreams once again. Dreams cause us to hope and show us how to live again with confidence for the future. God is the giver of dreams (Acts 2:17). So, take time to see what sets your partner’s heart on fire, and do not be selfish, but see how you can help each other achieve your goals.
As you share your goals and dreams, consider getting a pen and paper so you can capture that which you learn. Again, try not to be chaotic, but come to a meaningful agreement. There is power when you both agree (Amos 3:3). It will bring you so much progress.
7. Re-analyze your priorities (Acts 6:2-4)
During Economics class, I was taught the scale of preference. Are you wondering why that will be necessary now? Let us see. A scale of preference is a list that arranges your needs according to their degree of importance to you. At times, it can be so easy for you
as a couple to become sidetracked by the jamboree of things begging for your attention that you begin to lose focus.
So, it is necessary for you both to once again re-analyze your priorities to ensure that you are still on track. As you do this, it will show you what you truly intend to focus on as a family and as partners in the relationship. Remind yourselves of the core values and activities that matter most to you as a home, as knowing this will be helpful to chart your course purposefully throughout the year.
8. Create God-centered goals for the year (Neh. 2:18)
Now that you have reviewed the past year; expressed gratitude, sought God’s will for the new year; let go of past hurts; shared your dreams and goals, and re-analyzed your priorities, what is left is to set goals that are in line with God’s will for you as a family and which reflect your purpose and vision. It will be important to start by taking into cognizance what you were not able to achieve in the previous year that you had planned to achieve. This is so that you do not keep on heaping up more and more stuff on your plate without making tangible progress.
So, I would advise that you start by addressing the goals you had not been able to achieve as a family and as a couple in the previous year. Then, set other goals, too. Remember that you must not always set a million goals. Even if it means setting five or ten major goals that you can run with for the year, then that is enough. In fact, you can choose to segment your goals on a monthly, bi-monthly, or quarterly basis.
It is more about how successful you are in pulling through in the achievement of your goals than in how well your goal list looks like Mt. Everest. Again, this does not mean that you set “small” goals, but set great goals that you trust God to be able to accomplish, knowing that you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you
(Phil. 4:13). Set inclusive goals that are beneficial to you both as partners and if you have kids, goals that will benefit them in the long run.
Keep in mind that God should be first on your list. Because if you commit to seeking His will and obeying it, other goals will fall in place (Matt. 6:33). Nevertheless, also set personal development, financial, and family goals, keeping your future in mind – even if it’s only a rough view of it – to keep you going. It will be a great one for you.
9. Trust God with your plans and the future (Prov. 16:3)
The Bible says in Proverbs 16:3 that we should commit whatever we do to the Lord and our plans will succeed. As you make your plans and get all giddied up to approach the year, do not forget to entrust your hearts, your relationship, your family, and your goals to God. The wisdom and strength to push through comes from Him. Do not neglect this.
You must also remember that entrusting your plans to God does not mean you will not face trials and challenges you did not bargain for. What it does mean is that even in those situations, you will be assured that Emmanuel is with you, guiding your every step and weaving your story to proclaim His glory (Rom. 8:28).
It is easy sometimes to become overwhelmed even as you look to what the future holds. However, you can find rest knowing that God knows your future. And guess what? He is for you. So, there is hope for you (Jer. 29:11, 31:17). Do you believe that?
10. Commit to doing and loving like Christ (1 Jn. 3:18)
Can you remember your experience last year? Did you push through in the actualization of your goals? Following through on commitments requires determination. It requires backbone, not merely a wishbone. You must be committed to seeing what has been
written on paper being translated into your lives as partners and a family. You have to act, not merely wish (Prov. 21:5).
One thing that will keep you is having a heart of love for God and for your partner and kids (Lk. 10:27, 1 Jn. 3:18). If you commit to loving God and loving others around you from the heart, you will see that your partner and kids will be better people, and your home will be a better place to live. Will you commit to love in action this year?
To end this, it is a privilege to see a new year. To see and be a part of one means that God has a unique purpose for you. This will be your best year yet, by the grace of God. However, you must stick to the anchor of your soul, and you have to walk with Him. Would you like to have the best year ever? Jesus is a prayer away. To the God who makes all things new! Bonne année!
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