The Redlights Of Dating – Warning Signs Of A Problematic Relationship



The Redlights Of Dating

The Redlights of Dating
Sometimes you just have to be careful and watchful while dating

In the dating phase, the redlights are meant to slow you down in a relationship, make you rethink when things aren’t going well, or stop you entirely in a relationship. You must understand what it is and learn what it’s teaching you. If you fail to embrace the Redlights of Dating as a life course, and as a voice speaking to you, you will suffer for it. And this is my objective in writing this article. To help you heed the redlights of dating in your own relationship, hence circumvent the would-painful experiences.

What Are These Redlights?

Ignoring redlights in a relationship could be dangerous, thus, it’s worth understanding what it is. Relationship redlights are the signs you see in a relationship that you don’t like. These signs tell you that he or she might not be a good partner or match for you. These signs tell you that if you’re in a relationship with such a person, it’s not gonna work. That divorce is inevitable. These signs are an indicator of a problematic union, marriage, relationship, and friendship to be. And it can vary from one person to another since we all have different tastes and choices.

Redlights aren’t always hidden although some are hidden from potential partners until the union is established. There are some partners who behave so well prior to marriage but after the wedding, the devil in them comes out. And you begin to wonder if you ever knew that person in the first place. It was hidden from you because you wouldn’t have gone into such union had you known before.

But in most cases even when the partner truly tries to hide them, it could come out or be made manifest in one way or the other. That’s why wisdom in dating is good. You can discover redlights via dating if you’re wise. Dating is a process geared to discovering the redlights, the things that could hinder progress in a relationship. I don’t mean to run away when you just see anything that you don’t like.

The Redlights of Dating
Sometimes what you see ahead of you while dating is an absolute “No Go” area, a “No Venture” zone.

There are some things that can be changed when the partners in question talk about it. But also there’s a situation where the would-be husband or wife is unwilling to acknowledge a wrong, a tort, a bad character or a moral deficit when it’s told them. The refusal to acknowledge also means the refusal to change. And if your potential spouse would not change from what could stop the union from being established, there’s no need to get involved in that union.

The refusal to change is not intentional. It shows that he or she is aware of the situation but unwilling to let it go. It means he or she knows it but wants it. A partner that joins in that union is also accepting the situation and should not expect any change in it. But a wise partner would not go further because that would mean trespassing a redlight. It is always dangerous to cross when the light is red. You know what I mean! Don’t you?

Revealing The Future

Redlights are there to tell you how the future of a union might look like. If a man or woman is cheating on you during the dating phase and you know it. Chances are that cheating will not stop when you people get married. And what if you love the person? Well, maybe the person doesn’t love you as much as you do. Or doesn’t love you at all.

So should you run away? Not really! Since you know it, don’t keep quiet about it. Talk to your partner about what you know. Let him or her know that you know. Discuss it with her or him. If he or she changes, you’ve won them over. But if they are unwilling to listen, leave the relationship ASAP if you don’t like cheating. Because that’s what you will get when you both marry. No, it would not change under such circumstances. There could be more to it than meets the eye. See these teachings for more information on cheating.

The Redlights of Dating
At times what you see while dating is just a stop sign for your own good.

Redlights are there to inform you about the person’s ways of life. You can from looking at what you see know what to expect with someone like that.

In this smart generation, smart couples should not be ignorant, and carefree when falling in love or entering into a loving relationship with someone. Because there’s a lot of information out there not confined to what you can read, but also what you see from day to day. What you see usually don’t lie. If you’re not to believe what you have read or heard, at least believe what you see with your eyes. That’s experience. And they say it’s the best teacher. But don’t let what you go through always be your best teacher. You don’t have to take the brunt of a crisis for you to feel its pain or know that it’s painful. No! You can avoid the crisis totally if you don’t ignore the redlights of dating which act as warning signs. Take action accordingly to eschew bitter experiences. Be wise in a relationship, I mean!.

Love To Beloved

Love is good and to beloved is better. Love is good but it’s also reciprocal. You give and receive what you give. When you give love, you receive love in return. It can be dangerous in a relationship where you don’t receive love but always give out love. Don’t be too madly in love that you are not appreciated for loving or/and loved in return.

When you are too madly in love and aren’t appreciated, there’s a problem. It could be that the recipient of your love is not in love with you or doesn’t know how to appreciate your love. He or she might not know how to love you back because of one reason or the other.

Of course, he or she has a choice and a will, a volition to willingly decide without being influenced by external factors. It’s not because you love somebody and do a lot for the person that the person would necessarily love you back. Some love may not be yours at all, irrespective of all you have done.

But my point here is that you shouldn’t be in love with someone to the point of being blind to the redlights of dating in that relationship. Don’t put up with something bad in the name of love which you know you really don’t like. Such an act of love could kill you. Of course, People die in the name of love from what could have made them wise, from what they could have precluded.

They saw but ignored the redlights of dating while dating their lovers and that killed them in the name of love. It is foolish to have the Spirit of God but ignore His leading, His prompting, His guide. Any child of God must not be foolish. Learn from what the Spirit shows you. Learn from what you see with your eyes. Put your senses to work and make the dating phase of your relationship a pleasant experience. Don’t die because of what you could have avoided.

Samson And Delilah Dating Phase

In Judges chapter 16, the Bible records the dating phase of Samson and Delilah’s relationship. Sampson chose to be foolish and suffered for it, irrespective of the fact that he has a mighty God on his side. You see, God cannot protect you from your own stupidity. He has created you in His image (Genesis 1:26-27) and has given you senses to use and live a better life. As a created being, you know, you can smell, you can touch, you can hear, you can talk and do many other things to avoid evil from happening to you.

Samson saw on several occasions the unfaithfulness and betrayals of Delilah but never learned anything from them. His love for Delilah kind of numbed his senses and he paid for it dearly. You see, Samson ignored all the redlights, he refused to take notice of all that God showed him concerning the relationship between himself and Delilah and he died because of ignorance. It’s quite sad that with all the knowledge Samson had gathered from the dating phase, he learned nothing from it. He still died for a lack of wisdom. Love is good and guided by wisdom, it’s sweet and better.

It’s good to end knowing that the redlights of dating are meant to slow you down in a relationship, make you rethink when things aren’t going well, or to stop you entirely in a bad relationship. You must understand what it is and learn what it’s teaching you. If you fail to embrace the Redlights of Dating as a life course, you will suffer for it. Live to show love to the partner of your life. But love with wisdom! Don’t cut your life short. Don’t die like Samson! © 2020. All rights reserved



About the author

Verra is a journalist, a gospel singer, a relationship expert and the site editor.
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