Sincere dating very much allows you to be original and confident in the person you are. My reasons for such a line of thought are these:
When we consider two women in the Bible; Esther and Ruth, we see that the former (Esther), was a Jewish captive who was favored by God to be a part of the select few, out of whom one would be chosen by the king of Persia to be queen in Vashti’s stead (Esth. 1:10-19, 2:2-8). Now, the Bible recorded that Esther not only found favor with her attendants but also with the king (Esth. 2:9). It says she pleased him above every other (Esth. 2:17). This makes me imagine if the others did not really please him as such, then it means there was something “extra” about Esther. What was the “extra?”
The “extra” thing was that even though she had the favor of God, she still chose to be different, exceptional, and special. She did not try to win the king’s heart by being Vashti, or by being the “thousand” other ladies who had come before her. She won the king’s heart by being who she was. Who was she?
She was a beautiful yet humble, respectful, content, and courageous lady (Esth. 2:7,15, 4:4,16).
How about Ruth? Ruth was a Moabitess who left her people to serve the God of Israel (Ruth 1:16-17). She spent her time with her mother-in-law, Naomi, and was obedient in everything. When the man she eventually married, Boaz, saw her, he was attracted to her not because she was dressed in scarlet or adorned with blue. Rather, she caught his attention because she was a hardworking young lady who did not mind her hands getting dirty (Ruth 2:3-6, 10-11).
This is not to say that dressing well is bad. No, not at all. It is only intended to point out that Ruth was original, sincere, and simply being who she was – an obedient, hardworking, faithful, loving, and resilient young lady who was determined to get it right despite her past. Because of this originality that she maintained, she eventually became the great-grandmother of King David from whose lineage Jesus Christ emerged (Ruth 4:17).
From these two women, we can see an example of originality and sincerity expressed in their lives. I believe that true love begins when two original people with weaknesses and strengths are attracted to each other and as they date, begin to discover who both of them are.
Now, any sort of dating or courtship that makes a partner pretend or struggle to fit in is not a sincere act of love. Many marriages and relationships are failing in our days because so many people had to pretend to win the hearts of their partners but when they were unmasked, there was no more love.
Someone who truly loves you for you will find no greater joy than in seeing you be you. If you are a counterfeit, a hypocrite, or your relationship forces you to be one, then it simply means you are not truly in love. It means your partner only loves the mask on your face and not the real, true you.
However, when you are with someone who truly loves you for you, that person will find your queer areas a unique thing. He/she will be excited because you are you and not someone else. If you find yourself constantly trying to win your partner’s approval by lies about your family, financial status, personality, or even faith, then it means your dating is insincere. And we know that the father of insincerity is no master in keeping a strong foundation (Jn. 8:44, Matt. 7:26-27).
Even God who loves us and desires us to be like Him does not shout out loud from Heaven, “If you’re not who I want you to be, then do not come to me!” Rather, He loved us “while we were yet sinners,” accepts us just the way we are, and through this great love helps us to become all that He wants us to be (Rom. 5:8).
This is what sincere dating should be like. First, you are attracted to who your partner really is (with no pretense). Then as you date, you do not stifle your partner’s originality or make him/her conform to your own idea of what he/she should be like. Rather, you work with him/her by loving him/her, celebrating him/her, complimenting his/her uniqueness, and helping him/her become who God wants him/her to be. You also stay original too. That is when you enjoy the person you love. That is when you know that you are truly in love.
So, how do you intend to stay original or help your partner to be so today?
Smartcouples.net © 2024. All rights reserved.
