How To Share Your Dreams With Your Spouse, Part One – The Types Of Marital Shared Vision

 

How To Share Your Dreams With Your Spouse, Part One – The Types Of Marital Shared Vision

How To Share Your Dreams With Your Spouse, Part One - The Types Of Marital Shared VisionCouples are people who met with an intention to live and spend the rest of their lives together. These are two individuals who are complete in themselves as human beings, yet with different personalities, aspirations, and dreams that scream for fulfillment in life. In this article, we are going to talk about how to share your dreams with your spouse with emphasis on the types of shared vision that exist.

What is a shared vision?

How To Share Your Dreams With Your Spouse, Part One - The Types Of Marital Shared VisionA shared vision, basically, is that long term dream which a spouse has and doesn’t keep it personal but tells his or her partner for their inputs, contributions, and ideas to make the dream come true. The couple thinks together, strategizes and develops ways their dreams can be fulfilled together. The shared vision can be reduced to goals, and projects which are short term, and follow-through daily action plans, including methods of reviewing their plans from time to time.

There are varied situations from which a couple– husband and wife– can share, accommodate and fulfill their dreams.

1. The Dream Assimilation Couples (DAC)

Dream assimilation is a situation where both partners have personal dreams and none is willing to forgo their dreams for something else. However, one partner absorbs the dreams of the other for its fulfillment. This means that in order to fulfill one’s dreams, you have to be a part of the bigger dream. And there are two types of dream assimilation namely, income-focused DAC and vocation focused DAC. Let me break it down.

  • Income-focused dreams

This is the assimilation of a dream into the bigger picture because of finance in particular. The partner can do any job in order to meet the financial goal set as their dream income.

For instance, A partner can have a desire for and plans to earn £100.000 yearly as income but met with a spouse whose dream is to earn £1. 000.000 yearly as income. Since the £1.000.000 is way bigger than the £100.000, the former dreamer would willingly give in to the latter for the fulfillment of their dreams together.

How To Share Your Dreams With Your Spouse, Part One - The Types Of Marital Shared VisionIt would not matter much what they do so far as they meet their set target. In this case, the 100.000 dreamer’s vision is assimilated into the 1 million pound dreamer’s vision. Both of them have saved time by doing so and have their personal dreams in one big picture.

They would have spared enough time for their relationship working together professionally than each of them putting much energy and time on different things and locations in order to meet their dreams respectively.

  • Vocation-focused dreams 

The Vocation focused dreams are the couples who really love what they do and find fulfillment in it. They wouldn’t exchange it for anything else. However, their dreams can be assimilated into a grand picture for its fulfillment so far as the career does not change.

An example can be in the teaching profession where a teacher of a public school leaves the school because she married the proprietor of another school somewhere else. In this case, she still enjoys her teaching profession but in a bigger picture where she controls almost everything because her spouse is now the boss, the owner, the decision-maker.

It’s also true in the music profession. In music, an upcoming artist who loves music can marry an established one with a record label without much fuss because his or her music career would only get better with the union. Since they all are into music, there would be no need for a change of vision or career. And the same could be true with the medical and law firms to mention but a few.

The difference between the income-focused and Vocation-focused dreams is that the former can do anything to meet their targets financially. They can change from one job to another if need be.

Whereas, the latter cannot change career in order to be fulfilled. They stay put and grow with their career. The singer cannot change the career in order to sing. He or she would maintain the calling or profession throughout life.

This can be said with a lot of professions in life. Your dreams could be absorbed in the bigger picture for its fulfillment, which saves time, brings partners closer and brings joy to everyone in the relationship.

2. The Significant Dream Couples

Secondly, there’s a situation where both partners have dreams but one willingly gives up his or hers in order to help fulfill the dreams of the other which they find more significant and fulfilling. This could be a lesser dream for a more meaningful one. And it makes use of their time better.

So because a couple has two different dreams does not mean that one cannot give up his or hers to support the other even if it’s something totally different from what they used to do

An example is a lady who was a fashion designer now married to a king and belongs to a royal family. As part of the royal family, she willingly gives up her former dream to take on a new royal role assigned to her. So she surrenders the lesser dream to a bigger one.

In this case, whatever dream they choose becomes a product of discussion between the partners involved.

3. The One Dream Couples

Thirdly, a situation exists where one partner has no dreams at all, or should I say, “no dreams yet,” because we believe everyone has a dream of one kind or the other. It’s just a matter of time to discover it.

So it’s possible that some people might not know what they want and may need assistance in that area. Maybe, they have not thought about pursuing a personal dream and can willingly yield to the dream of their spouses, thus saving time to fulfill the other’s dream. There are so many marriages where one partner lives to fulfill the dreams and visions of the other because they didn’t have any dream that they were pursuing at the time of marriage. And these marriages are fruitful, well and sound.

4. The Divine Dream Couples

There are dreams or visions from God that are worth fulfilling. When God gives a spouse a vision, He gives it to the couple together, which implies that the other should support that vision than seek something else entirely different from what they already have been given.

How To Share Your Dreams With Your Spouse, Part One - The Types Of Marital Shared VisionYou can be doing something which isn’t the purpose of God for your life. And that thing can change when you seek and find God. There are people who changed professions and lucrative careers to something else just because they found God.

Any dream or plan from God is His purpose for that person worth supporting even if that means to leave what one is already doing.

Even if they all have dreams, one can still let go of their dreams to help fulfill the dreams of God for the couples.

5. The No Dream Couples

Finally, a situation exists where both partners as a couple have no dreams or pursuit in life at all. It sounds funny, doesn’t it? Everyone has a dream but not everyone discovers their dream. Although the no-dream couples need counsel to determine what their dreams are, they should understand that coming together as couples is a dream in its own rights, and a long term one at that.

If you have no dream of your own, I have good news for you. Marriage is a long-term dream of life worth everything to fulfill it. So the idea of having no dreams doesn’t exonerate you from planning.

Furthermore, what makes a real dream has to do with passion. What are they passionate about? If they don’t know their passion, what’s their daily job? What foots their bills? Where do they spend time the most daily?

That job could be a dream, maybe. If they don’t have a job, what would they do if given the opportunity? That could be a dream to pursue as well.

They could decide to dedicate their time to what they choose to do daily which foots their bill. In this case, that is a dream.

To recap this title “How To Share Your Dreams With Your Spouse, Part One – The Types Of Marital Shared Vision”, we have mentioned the no dream couples, the one dream couples, the divine dream couples, the significant dream couples, and the dream assimilation couples, as the types of marital shared vision or dreams which exist.

Now tell me, have you ever shared your dreams with your spouse? What do you understand as a shared vision?

 

Adapted from Rev. PC Akubueze’s Teachings on “Marital shared vision,” For Smartcouples.net © 2020. All Rights Reserved.

 

 

About the author

Charles E. Is an author, a journalist, a relationship pundit and site administrator.
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Verra

You’re welcome, Shanta. God bless you and your family too.

Shanta Rahman

Many thanks for this great piece of informative article about sharing vision. I love the significant dream couples, for that has been my case. But there situations like the “No dream couples” where none can say with authority what they want in this life. They just drift from one thing to another, but at times they find themselves somehow…can I say they become the “One dream couple”?

I believe that every marriage should have a sense of direction where it’s headed. The couples should know what they want together before they tie the knot. They shouldn’t go in before finding out that they weren’t even a match to start with. Above all is the God dream couples. What could be more than knowing and being where God wants you couples to be. Thanks so much for keeping us strong with your posts and teachings. God bless you all.

Verra

Hello Biiz, well you’re making sense. The blending is good and works well with assimilation too. If I remember the example Charles gave brought this out clearly. It’s good to follow your passion. But a situation can exist where your passion becomes an existing part of a larger dream. In such situation, you either blend or take up the bigger role while maintaining your passion dream. Even a situation can come where one gives up his or her dream for something better. So it doesn’t mean that because you have a dream you must fulfil it at all cost irrespective of other factors. I have seen rich men marry ladies from poor backgrounds and these ladies now are financial power brokers. Before they became what they are today, they had their dream jobs that they were doing, but when fate came calling, they left it behind for something greater. There are some dreams that you are not bound to stay doing because it gives you joy or because it is your passion. Passion can be refined. Passion can be educated. Passion can change. Thanks for the comment. Have a great day. 

MrBiizy

Hey , thanks for sharing this… I had a glorious time reading through this post because it’s eyes opening and helps me prepare for my marriage in timeto come (I’m still single). Yes, I have seen situations where one partner gives up his or her dreams to fulfill the other partner’s dream. The significant dream couple is definitely the most difficult one because the partner might have passion for what he or she is doing although it doesn’t look big but it’s what actually gives him or her joy. I feel partners should not really give up what they do especially if it’s what makes them happy but can in a way blend into the bigger dream. I hope I am making sense… 🙂 The divine dream couple is what I love most.

Verra

Hi Katie, thanks for being so honest with your story. We appreciate your sharing with us and hope that your newly found love relationship would be amazing, and imbibe and explore the art of communication. Dream sharing is pivotal to a strong, long lasting fulfilling relationship. May God bless your union. 

Katie

My ex and I definitely failed in communication in many ways. I don’t recall ever discussing dreams. We bought a house and had a kid because that just seemed like what logically comes next. We never really talked about future dreams and certainly never wrote down goals or long-term plans. I am hopeful my new love and I will do better. We discuss dreams all the time. 🙂 Thanks for this great thought-provoking article! 

Verra

Hello Para, great to hear from you again. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. Charles is a great mind on relationship issues. Helping conjugal relationship succeed in this digital age has been one of his cherished goals. Thanks again, and have a great day. 

Parameter

Hello Charles,
I like this statement in number 5, – when God gives a spouse a vision, He gives it to the couple together. As couples we must be ready to see the big picture in each others dreams, as this will help us work together. Another good dimension is the significant dream couple. I desire this your article will go viral, for couples to read; it will help and repair so many homes. Thank you for such an informative article. 

Verra

Thank you Margaret, for the comment on the. We do appreciate. Have a great day. 

Margaret

Hi, I enjoyed reading your article on How To Share Your Dreams With Your Spouse, Part One – The Types of Marital Shared Vision.  There is a lot of helpful and interesting information about how to share your dreams with your spouse in your article.  

I think it’s good if we could have the same dreams as our spouse. Having the same dreams gives us communication with our spouse and something to look and work towards dreams. Dreams can be big or small. It might be buying a new home, remolding your house, starting a new business, or traveling to a place you have never been to. I agree with you that when the couple thinks together, and develops ways their dreams can be fulfilled together, it brings understanding and satisfaction to everyone in the relationship. 

Thank you,

Margaret

Verra

Hello Hon, I agree with you that Charles penned a beautiful piece of information for conjugal life and loyalty. Yes, watch out for the other parts of the series, it would be out soon. And of course, we don’t mind to have you share with your loved ones. Just ahead and do. You can also link to the site or page or bookmark it for further references. Thanks for the comment. 

smjtuhin

I really enjoyed reading your article. In conjugal life, husband and wife are friends with each other. If they do not understand each other well, they will never be happy. Your article has come up with a lot of important information that we really need in our conjugal life. I think every part of your article is very important.”The Dream Assimilation Couples (DAC)” and “The No dream Couples”, in particular, liked the two parts very much to me.I’ll wait for the second part of this article to collect a lot of important information and apply it to my conjugal life. At the same time, I will share this article through various social media platforms so that they too can benefit.

Verra

Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this article. Keep the hope alive for Charles would be sharing more on the series. Thanks again and have a great day. 

jahangir alam

Thank you for writing a beautiful article worth the time.Dreams help people reach their peak of progress. Since husbands and wives have to spend a lifetime together, the dreams should be shared. Because of dream sharing, sometimes difficult tasks can be made easier. Those who have dreams and the plans to adjust are the only ones who have success.
Your article points out 6 points of beautiful words.Reading it will benefit everyone in the bridal life. Looking forward to more beautiful articles related to this in the future

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