The 5 Common Threats To Marital Reconciliation
Relationships, whether platonic, romantic, or sexual, are at their best when the actions of those involved are compatible. By compatibility, I mean free of conflicts. But the reality is that not every relationship is without conflict of one kind or the other. No relationship is perfect, but we aim for perfection and be of one mind, living in peace with our partners as we master the imperfect moments (2 Corinthians 13:11).
Today, we are going to talk about the 5 common threats to marital reconciliation. Reconciliation, as you may know, encompasses truth-telling, and dialogue, geared towards transforming relations among people affected by conflict and rebuilding broken trust between them once again. When there’s a relationship fallout with the love of your life, there exist certain things that can hamper, impede or hinder the course of reconciliation with that partner. Let’s start with the very first one!
1. The Loss Of Hope:
There’s the saying that “when there’s life, there’s hope.” This implies that the only situation where all hope is gone is when there’s no life. Now, imagine a situation where there’s life but no hope! This is what threatens couples who have fallen apart and makes them feel that it’s difficult to reconcile the union. The loss of hope is a big threat to reconciliation.
Never lose hope when things are looking bad in your relationship with your spouse, lover, or romantic partner. No matter how bad it looks, if you believe it—that the union can get back on track—then you can have it just as you believed. But there must be hope to start with. Hope always believes. Hope always expects. Hope never gives up.
2. The Loss Of Trust:
This loss of trust depends on the circumstance, and circumstances are different for different individuals. But the truth still remains that when trust is broken in a relationship, it’s not easily restored. It got to be earned. And this is a problem with reconciliation in some relationships. They want to come back, or at least, one is longing to be back but there’s no trust to strengthen the vision or aspiration. This itself is a threat to relationships, whether ongoing, affianced, or broken.
People always want to rely on their partners and if there’s no trust, it’s pretty hard. If you love your partner, try to trust again and prove that you can be trusted indeed. Don’t let trust issues ruin the opportunity you have to make things right again.
3. The Loss Of Love:
Some partners do say that it’s impossible to love again when things turned out pretty badly with their relationships. I do understand that this can be a big threat to reconciliation with a partner you once fell in love with. But it’s got to be the very first step that you must take to reconciliation whatsoever. You can’t seek to reconcile when you know that it’s not real, genuine, and sincere. So far as there’s no love, any attempt would not be fruitful. Be sincere to yourself and to your partner or whoever is mediating between you guys.
Love must be sincere and from the heart (Romans 12:9). It must be the source from which reconciliation emanates. If you are in, you are in. And if not, just step aside and let it be. No need to fake it or force it!
4. The Pride Of Heart:
Pride is a thread to healing and reconciliation. It can prevent either of them to flourish. Pride precedes a fall is what the Bible tells us (Proverbs 16:18). There are some couples who aren’t in love again but still love each other within their hearts. However, because of pride, they cannot come to terms to reconcile with their exes. None wants to be seen as the first to acknowledge the wrong or to beg and ask for forgiveness. They consider this aspect of healing, a weakness. I rather call it strength and consider the pride of heart, a weakness.
The man of God, Reverend PC Akubueze, used to tell us that, “a visionary despises shame or fear for the furtherance of his vision.” If your relationship vision is for reconciliation with your ex or current partner, you have to despise Pride of heart for the furtherance of that vision, that relationship goals. No matter who is wrong or right, you can always take the first steps to initiate the healing process. Kill pride in order to win the love of your life back. Pride is a threat to reconciliation. It can rob you of what’s rightly yours.
5. The Act Of Unforgiveness:
“Be tolerant, don’t be angry, bear with each other, and forgive one another. If you feel someone has wronged you, forgive them. Forgive others because the Lord forgave you” (Colossians 3:13).
This unforgiveness sort of thing is a very dangerous threat to reconciliation. I called it dangerous because it affects not just one person but everyone in the relationship. It’s so dangerous in that you who were the victim and supposedly, innocent, would take the brunt of the hurts just because you didn’t forgive and let go of someone from your heart. Unforgiveness affects both the victim and the culprit as well. And when it’s present or when forgiveness is missing, reconciliation cannot genuinely take place. Hate and the absence of love becloud a heart struggling to forgive. That doesn’t look like an atmosphere where reconciliation can thrive.
You may also like to read the dangers of unforgiveness
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