The 5 Notable Ways Domestic Violence Affects Couples’ Finances
I grew up with a family that lacked peace and happiness, it’s one fight today and another issue tomorrow. I wondered if they started on this note when they chose to go ahead with their marriage. I often hear from their relatives that they didn’t start their marriage like that when they often come around to settle their marital issues. The husband beats up the wife, punching her like a bag of processed cassava while the wife rains curses while trying to escape. Their home is full of drama, and different movies to watch day in and out.
At some points, I began to question why God established marriage. Must two people spend their lives together? Is marriage that important? Why do I need to leave my parents and spend the rest of my life with someone I barely know? If this is how marriage is, then I dare to stay single! A friend shared her experience and those are her words to me. Marriage can be beautiful for some and can be hell for others. Everyone has their own perspective about marriage and when you ask them, they often speak based on their own personal experience. Lots of families have lost their identity due to domestic violence and other challenges that come with marriage. It’s true when they say “If you marry wrong, you have a high tendency not to fulfill purpose in life.”
Domestic violence is a grievous issue that affects individuals and families across the globe and while the emotional and physical scars of domestic violence are widely recognized, its impact on financial stability is often overlooked and not commonly looked into. For couples, the financial toll can be as devastating as the emotional and psychological trauma that comes with it. As Christians, it is crucial to understand how domestic violence affects not only the emotional and spiritual aspects of a marriage but also the practical elements such as finances.
This will also help recognize ways to curb and avoid it before it affects the home. The Bible speaks on mutual love, respect, and provision in marriage, urging and encouraging couples to treat each other with kindness and to share responsibilities (Ephesians 5:25-28, Colossians 3:19). However, in cases of domestic violence, these biblical principles are violated, often leading to a breakdown of the marriage’s foundation. It is important to know that the financial effects of domestic violence can have long-lasting consequences for both partners, especially for the victim who may find themselves trapped in a cycle of financial dependence and poverty.
This article will explore five ways in which domestic violence can affect couples’ finances and further encourage Christian couples to avoid any form of abuse in their homes.
1. Manipulation and Financial Control
2. Loss of Income and Employment Instability
3. Legal and Medical Expenses
4. Property Damage and Financial Losses
5. Impact on Children and Generational Wealth
1. Manipulation and Financial Control
I made you, I paid your bride price, my father owns the company we both run, my name is on this property, I picked you from the gutters and much more are words you hear from couples who regularly abuse each other. One of the most prevalent forms of abuse within domestic violence is financial abuse. Perpetrators often exert control over their victim’s access to financial resources, thereby limiting their independence. This form of manipulation can include anything from restricting access to bank accounts, preventing the victim from working, monitoring their spouse’s spending habits, or even appropriating the victim’s income without consent. In such homes, either of the couples exerts authority over the other thereby making the environment toxic for the other person.
In marriage, the Bible encourages shared responsibilities and mutual respect. Husbands and wives are called to provide for each other and manage their household in unity. Financial manipulation undermines this divine directive by creating an imbalance of power, where one partner dominates the other through monetary control. The word of God encourages husbands to treat their wives as their own bodies (Ephesians 5:28). Love in this context points to treating your wife honorably as you treat yourself. Can a man hate himself? Therefore, marriage automatically makes you and your spouse become one.
Manipulating your spouse financially violates the kind of love the word of God speaks about which promotes security, freedom, and trust for couples. As a woman on the other hand, you should also submit to your spouse even if you’re the source of your family’s financial strength. Victims of financial abuse may also find it difficult to leave the abusive relationship because they lack the financial resources to do so. Even in cases where the victim has a job, the abuser may still control how the money is spent, further entrenching the victim’s dependency. Over time, this can lead to financial instability for the entire household. In some cases, victims may be forced to take out loans or incur debt to cover basic needs, further compounding their financial distress. Love your spouse as yourself and honor your spouse don’t make the atmosphere of your home toxic and unwelcoming.
2. Loss of Income and Employment Instability
It’s often painful when you realize how destructive a situation can be after you have committed that error. A friend once said her sister often spent more than a week in the hospital after her husband beat her up. She practically abandoned her job and home and made the hospital her home regularly until she got sacked from work because the company could no longer put up with her regular absence from work. The emotional and physical toll of domestic violence can make it difficult for victims to maintain stable employment. Physical injuries sustained from abuse, such as broken bones, bruises, or chronic pain, can result in missed workdays.
Additionally, the emotional strain of living in an abusive environment—fear, anxiety, and depression—can interfere with job performance. This combination of factors often leads to job loss or decreased work opportunities, which directly impacts household income. At the early stage of this, couples might turn a blind eye to this particular effect but it becomes more vivid when they eventually see the outcome. God’s design is for both partners to contribute to the household, either through financial provision or by managing the home. In Proverbs 31, the virtuous woman is described as industrious, working with her hands, trading, and providing for her family. Similarly, the Bible says “Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” (1 Timothy 5:8).
Domestic violence tampers with what the word of God says here. In many cases, the abuser will actively sabotage the victim’s employment prospects by preventing them from going to work, showing up at their workplace, or interfering with their performance through emotional manipulation. This loss of income not only affects the victim but can also lead to financial instability for the entire household. As a result, the couple may struggle to pay bills, meet basic needs, or invest in their future. Physically abusing your spouse does not only affect him or her, you also have a fair share of it because it indirectly ends up tampering with your home financially and emotionally.
3. Legal and Medical Expenses
It amazes me when couples often take up issues legally only to end up spending more than they have to address their marital issues. It also amazes me how couples who find it difficult to feed three times daily will have the financial strength to table their case in court. This is often practiced by educated individuals. It’s foolishness to physically abuse your spouse and spend the money you borrowed to take care of their medical bills.
The legal and medical costs associated with domestic violence can be staggering. Victims often require medical treatment for physical injuries sustained during incidents of abuse. Emergency room visits, surgeries, medications, and ongoing therapy can quickly drain financial resources and end up leaving couples in debt. In severe cases, victims may need long-term medical care or rehabilitation, which can be a significant financial burden.
On the legal side, victims may need to pursue restraining orders, seek divorce, or engage in child custody battles. Legal representation is often costly, and the court process can be prolonged, adding to the financial strain. Additionally, the emotional toll of these legal proceedings can interfere with the victim’s ability to work, further compounding their financial difficulties. The word of God teaches us that “The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty” (Proverbs 21:5). Financial wisdom is an essential aspect of a healthy marriage.
However, domestic violence undermines a couple’s ability to plan and manage their resources wisely. Instead of investing in their future, couples affected by domestic violence may find themselves pouring money into legal and medical expenses that could have been avoided in a loving, God-honoring relationship. It takes wisdom to recognize that physically abusing your spouse will steal more from you than add more to you.
Moreover, legal fees and the division of assets in a divorce can leave both parties financially handicapped. For the victim, starting over after an abusive marriage can be financially daunting, especially if they have been financially dependent on the abuser for a very long time. In many cases, victims find themselves in poverty, struggling to make ends meet while also dealing with the emotional trauma of the abuse. This isn’t good because it affects both of you.
4. Property Damage and Financial Losses
Domestic violence often results in physical altercations that lead to damage to properties and other important objects in the home. I once witnessed a scene in my neighborhood where a man and his wife were fighting and the man out of anger carried his own phone and threw it at his wife, he realized the gravity of his action after the phone had shattered on the floor. Whether intentional or accidental, abusers may break household items, damage the home, or destroy personal belongings during violent outbursts. These losses are not only emotionally traumatic but can also be financially devastating. Replacing or repairing damaged property can strain your budget as a couple especially if your financial situation is already precarious.
In some cases, the abusive spouse may intentionally destroy valuable assets as a means of asserting control or punishing their partner. For example, an abusive spouse might damage their partner’s car, making it difficult for them to go to work or attend important appointments. This type of financial sabotage can have long-lasting effects on the victim’s financial independence and stability in that marriage.
The scripture says “Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain” (Psalm 127:1). This verse talks about the importance of a strong, God-centered foundation for a home. Domestic violence undermines this foundation, leading to chaos and destruction rather than peace and prosperity. As couples, make God the foundation of your home and shun all appearances of evil
Moreso, an abusive partner may control the finances of that home to the extent that they prevent their partner from saving money or building wealth. This financial stagnation can make it difficult for the couple to achieve their desired financial goals, such as buying a home, paying off debt, or saving for retirement. Instead of building a prosperous future together, the couple may find themselves stuck in a cycle of financial instability and debt as a result of misunderstandings they could have resolved amicably.
5. Impact on Children and Generational Wealth
I have moved with friends from broken and abusive marriages and I can tell that they are not balanced except through the help of God and good relatives. One of the most tragic consequences of domestic violence is its impact on children. Studies have shown that children who grow up in abusive households are more likely to experience emotional and psychological problems, which can affect their ability to succeed academically and professionally.
Additionally, the financial instability caused by domestic violence can hinder parents’ ability to provide for their children’s basic needs, such as food, clothing, education, and healthcare. Biblically, parents are called to care for their children and to provide for their future. The Bible says “A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children” (Proverbs 13:22). Domestic violence disrupts this principle by creating financial instability that can be passed down to future generations. Children who grow up in poverty or financial instability due to domestic violence may struggle to break free from the cycle of poverty as adults.
Furthermore, the emotional trauma experienced by children in abusive households can lead to long-term financial consequences. Children who witness domestic violence are more likely to drop out of school, struggle with mental health issues, or engage in risky behaviors that can affect their financial stability later in life.
In conclusion, as Christians, we are called to be agents of healing, restoration, and peace in the world. Domestic violence is a grave sin that not only destroys individuals and families but also disrupts God’s design for marriage. The financial impact of domestic violence is just one aspect of the broader harm it causes, but it is a critical one that affects the victim’s ability to escape the abuse, rebuild their life, and provide for their children. The Bible calls us to “Defend the weak and the fatherless; uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed” (Psalm 82:3).
As the Body of Christ, we must stand against domestic violence, offering support to victims and advocating for justice and healing in any abusive relationships we find around us. Your marriage will work and it’s my prayer that God will resolve every form of marital crisis you’re currently facing, in Jesus’ name.
Smartcouples.net © 2024. All rights reserved.
