The Reasons Not To Get Married – Singles Dating
For singles dating, marriage is a sacred institution. The reasons not to get married aren’t to prevent you from enjoying marital union, but to help you see the purpose in the union you aspire to engage in. To marry someone is to share your whole life with that person. Your independence isn’t solo anymore as you depend on each other for various reasons and occasions.
Sharing the same space, sharing your time, sacrificing certain desires for the marriage to work, compromising on some issues, and tolerating someone who differs from you, would not be the experiences that you would want to have with just anyone. They are things that you would want to be sure of that the person for whom these are done must be the one you truly love, are in love with, or have married.
It’s not something that you do with just anybody. And if you can’t do that with just anyone, therefore, you cannot just jump into marriage like that without careful consideration for compatibility and certain values and factors which together solidify the union. Isolated reasons for marriage have ruined many marriages. And Today we want to help with some reasons not to fall for as far as marriage is concerned. The reasons not to get married are as follows:
1. Do Not Marry Just Because Of The Need For Sex
There are people who attach themselves to others because they believe some men or women are good in bed than others. That’s all! All what? That’s all there’s to their relationship. They only want to be with you or to marry you because they have tried you and liked the way you delivered in bed. Another group wants you because they have heard about your delivery in bed from others. Nothing more!
Surprised?
You shouldn’t be surprised about what I’m saying because there are some tribes of people, which I don’t wanna mention, who are well known and have developed a reputation for their sexual activities. Some from these tribes offer sexual services for money as prostitutes. And when they aspire to leave the profession, they seek marital partners who could satisfy their sexual urges. Another reason is just that they prefer to have sex with one person as a partner and reduce their chances of contracting STDs, more than having it with multiple partners.
A Wrong Motive!
So you see that although the choice to quit prostitution was right, the motive to enter into marriage with someone else was wrong. It was purely for sexual reasons.
Sex alone is a very wrong motive to want to spend your whole life with someone, whether male or female. Because you need a sexual partner isn’t a reason to drive you into marriage. Marriage is much more than just having sex. Sex cannot sustain a marriage. Of course, it’s important for married couples to have sex within their union, but that alone shouldn’t be your sole reason to want to marry someone.
2. Do Not Marry Just Because You Are Aging
Another serious issue in marriage is to marry because you feel you are getting old. Maybe, older than some of your peers or most brides or grooms within your community. And this temptation often comes when you look at those who belong to your generation and they are all married. You would want to question yourself and, if you are not careful, you might settle down with just anyone who comes by for marriage whether he or she is right for you or not. That’s a mistake to make, and a costly want too.
Each Home Is Different
Do not marry just because of the fear of getting old. I understand that is a concern. Even with the fact that menopause for women is real too, that shouldn’t be the sole reason to rush into marriage. Take your time for marriage because marriage is an institution, not a competition. The whole marriage thing is a school of learning and growth. Some people learn theirs within the marriage and others outside of the union. You don’t compete and compare your marriage to the others because each home is different with its own crises, tears, and joy.
At God’s time
Your time’s coming if you keep the right attitude. The Bible says that God’s time is the best. But God’s time isn’t universally the same for every individual. At His time, He makes everything beautiful (Ecclesiastes 3:11).
If you say you are getting old and menopause might catch up with you, remember that there are those who have married and are still in marriage for more than twenty years and without children. Menopause caught up with them even though they married early on in life.
What if you marry and the person is impotent and can’t father a child? What if you marry the wrong person who isn’t compatible with you? What if you rushed into an abusive marriage? Just because you are getting old shouldn’t be the reason to live your life in misery all in the name of marriage. Be patient for the right person to come for you. It could take a while. It could take some time, whether longer or a shorter period of time, just be patient for your rightful spouse to locate you.
3. Do Not Marry Just Because You’re Lonely
Can I say that again? Don’t marry because you feel lonely. I agree that a good marriage constitutes companionship, friendship, and partnership. After all, the Bible says that it was also for companionship that God created Eve for Adam. He made Eve to be his helper (Genesis 2:20-24). Being a companion and a helper demand your presence. Loneliness cannot exist with someone you call a companion or a helper.
But not all marriages solve the problem of loneliness, and that should not be the main or most important reason to enter into the matrimonial home. Because you can marry and still be lonely in your own home. Yes, there are couples who are married but live single. They live as if they were never married.
A Lonely Companion
So don’t define loneliness as being the absence of people. Because you can see people yet be lonely. You can have a person who you see daily at home but with whom there is no communication. You can be the loneliest of the person if you don’t have companionship and friendship with the husband or wife you married. Don’t just marry because you are lonely, for marriage doesn’t necessarily solve the issue of loneliness.
Married But Lonely
A lady was lonely and sought after men for marriage. To her, getting over loneliness was her main reason to marry. And She married a wealthy man who also wanted someone who could manage a portion of his wealth while he was away doing business. To him, having a manager was his main objective to marry. Both objectives were different from each other, and although not bad, weren’t sufficient reasons to get into the matrimonial home.
On the surface, both met their goals for marriage but suffered a lot from the lack of other factors that together make a happy married life. The lady, having married a wealthy man, suffered from loneliness in a gargantuan house. And the man too, having married someone who managed his wealth when away, suffered from loneliness doing business. They were married but their presence wasn’t there for each other. You can be married and still be lonely.
4. Do Not Marry Just Because Of Financial Support
Money doesn’t buy and can’t buy love. You can be wealthy and file for a divorce. Your wealth doesn’t guarantee the longevity of your marriage.
A hard-working lady had a nice job and a home. She paid her bills solo and was a comfortable single lady. But when she had an issue with her monthly mortgage, she resorted to seeking a man she could marry just because she wanted to maintain her lifestyle. So anyone, irrespective of character, who can help her pay the bills was a candidate for marriage. I see this as a recipe for disaster. Yes, money is good but “No,” there’s more to marriage than just the financial aspect.
I have told the story of loneliness above concerning a wealthy man and a lady. But let’s consider the financial stance of the lady in particular. She had the financial aspect of life as her main objective in marriage. And she got it but was she happy? No. She suffered from loneliness in a very large home. She could not find companionship in the one she married, yet she was rich.
Money can corrupt
Money without the right frame of mind can corrupt. The consequences of loneliness when you have the cash could be very detrimental to the matrimonial home. It could lead to infidelity and betrayal as you seek someone else in whom to confide. The financial aspect is a strong point when considering marriage. It does not make you stupid, arrogant, or inconsiderate when you want a partner with whom you could address the financial aspect together.
But finance alone is not a reason to rush to marry someone without considering other factors that make a happy home. The financial aspect alone is not a guarantee of a happy home or a successful marriage. Now, let me leave you with this: what if you got married because of money and the money finishes or the person becomes poor at one point in time. Would you leave the marriage?
Let’s Recap
In conclusion, we’ve said that you shouldn’t get married because you want sex, or because you want financial support, or because you are lonely or aging. For none of these alone can sustain a marriage. Think well to know the reasons behind your marital union and avoid falling for these mistakes that we’ve just looked at.
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