Right now, search your heart. Ask yourself this: If you were free not to get married, would you marry? It’s all over social media. Entertainment portrays it too. And even as I converse with and listen to conversations between people, there’s a common rhetoric: marriage is not something to look forward to.
And why is this so, you may ask? Maybe you have watched your parents play Cats and Dogs your entire life, and you saw their marriage end in divorce. Or maybe you have experienced betrayal, abuse, or painful heartbreak. Maybe it’s not even trauma. But you’re a goal-oriented boss lady who’s got dreams. What if a marriage stultifies your whole essence?
Or it may be that with the cacophony of cultural noise flying around, you may have tacitly embraced the message that personal fulfillment matters more than lifelong commitment. And yes, maybe, just maybe, none of these apply to you, but you really sit and ask yourself if marriage is even necessary in the first place. After all, Scripture does say that, “those who marry will face many troubles in this life” (1 Cor. 7:28).
I would like you to know that these concerns are understandable. We don’t just wake up one day to loathe marriage. We naturally look forward to being in love, and consequently walking down the aisle. Yet, broken relationships have left many people wondering whether marriage is worth the risk.
However, though human beings have often failed to reflect God’s design for marriage, it doesn’t mean that God’s design itself has failed. The problem lies not in that marriage is broken; it is rather that sin has distorted what God created to be beautiful. And as children of the King, we are invited to look beyond society’s disappointments and rediscover marriage through the eyes of its Designer.
Hopefully, this is what this article seeks to address. It will reveal reasons why marriage is still worth believing in, with the hope that if the desire has been quenched or if it is flickering, the Lord will set it ablaze again if it is according to His will for you.
Of course, the aim of this article is not to compel you in any way to be married if it is not the Lord’s desire for you to do so. Neither is it written to foist any opinions on you or induce unnecessary pressure. Rather, see it as a gentle re-aligning of your perspective or beliefs if it has been previously distorted for whatever reason, and hopefully as an invitation into God’s best if it be His will for you. Do read on!
9 Reasons Why Marriage Is Still Worth Believing In
1. Marriage Was God’s Idea, And God Has Good Ideas
I love books. Most of the time, what influences me to get a book is the author of a book. If the author is one I have read from and enjoyed, chances are that I would be on the lookout for new releases. I’m literally buying based on my perceived character of the authors of the books. I know they’re good, so I find their products worth a shot.
Before we thought about marriage, God was already ten steps (or more—definitely more) ahead of us. Marriage didn’t begin as a social contract as a result of civilization, or because some pristine religious leaders instituted it. No, it was first of all an idea in the mind of God for the perfect world He created.
He ordained marriage before the fall came about as a gift and blessing to the people He loved and created (Gen. 2:18-25). As I would prize a book because of the author behind it, the first reason marriage is still worth believing in is that the Author (the Founder) of marriage is trustworthy and good. He has a track record of goodness (Ps. 100:5); is the Giver of every good and perfect gift, including marriage (Jas. 1:17), and doesn’t create wrong things (Gen. 1:31).
Nevertheless, because of the fall, all good things God has created have a tendency to be counterfeit. So it’s not that marriage is innately bad and should be obviated at all costs. No, it’s rather that we, the recipients of and participants in the gift of marriage ought to align ourselves with the original design, and that means aligning ourselves with Christ Jesus.
2. Marriage Reflects God’s Covenant Love
In an earlier piece, I opined about the divine purposes of marriage. One of the purposes in that piece is that marriage reflects something eternal. It’s not merely about our happiness or fulfillment as we often believe. Not that those aren’t important.
But marriage first reflects an eternal relationship; that between Christ and His church. God has always wanted a people for Himself to be joined together in covenant love and faithfulness. It’s why He chose Israel, but they were unfaithful. So Christ came to love us while we were yet sinners; imperfect and unworthy (Rom. 5:8). Ephesians 5:22-33 gives us one of the best and most insightful discourses on marriage explaining this concept.
This eternal covenant mirrored through marriage tells of Christ’s love story with us. It is not about perfection, but about two people who have made a covenant to love, forgive, be faithful to, and choose each other over and over again, just like Christ did and still does today.
This is one of the most powerful witnesses of the Gospel. And it brings glory to God, which is the ultimate goal of whatever we do in life, including marrying (1 Cor. 10:31). So, one reason why you should believe in and want marriage is that as a child of God, it’s the practical way you live out and preach the Gospel to others, and it brings God glory as you do it His way.
3. Marriage Provides God-Given Companionship
Humans are relational beings. It’s not just an anthropological issue. It’s entrenched in spiritual roots. God is a relational being. He co-exists as and enjoys a relationship with the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit in the Trinity. As humans made in His image, we can’t be any less (Gen. 1:26-27). Humans are made for relationships.
And marriage is that one relationship that offers more — companionship. It’s where two people enjoy the privilege of truly giving themselves to and knowing each other wholly. It’s where they share their joys, their woes, and walk together as they accomplish God’s purposes as life partners.
Think about Priscilla and Aquila; Mary and Joseph; Ruth and Boaz and all Kingdom couples in the Bible (See Acts 18; Matt 1:18-25; Ruth 4:13-22). When one falls, the other lifts (Eccl. 4:9-12). While it’s true that there are other forms of relationships (family, friendships, mentorships, and the like), and marriage is not the cure to loneliness, people who chase independence alone discover almost fatally at the end that they are alone.
This is not because they lack God; but God Himself, who is all-sufficient, still remarked to the man who had His presence, perfect work, and beauty that he needed not to be “alone” (Gen. 2:8,9,15,18). A godly marriage offers a companionship that is worthwhile, and that is why it is worth believing in. Okay?
4. Marriage Is a School Where Character Is Refined
I was listening to a podcast one day where the host remarked risibly: I was half a year in marriage when I discovered that it was destined to ‘kill’ us. Of course, he didn’t mean murder literally, but he did mean that it doesn’t take a week into marriage for you and the person you have vowed to love to feel like punching each other!
No need to panic. It’s because you’re different. You’re like the North Pole and the South Pole, but you were attracted somehow, and now you’re “stuck” with each other. And permit me to say this, but that’s exactly what God wants. Not the fights and little skirmishes, but what they will produce: maturity — in you both if you give yourselves to the process and put in the work (Jas. 1:2-4).
Ephesians 5:26-27 also offers another purpose of marriage which is our sanctification. Marriage tests you. But not just that. It grows you. It matures you. It cultivates Christlikeness, humility, patience, kindness, tolerance, forgiveness, selflessness, and sacrifice in you, almost like no other earthly union would. And that’s the goal, eh? To become like Christ. That’s why you should think about giving marriage a consideration.
5. Marriage Provides a Safe Home for Love and Family
Society is in turmoil today. Many children have lost their way because the union and safe space God had originally created to offer solace and flourishing has been abused. In the plan of God, marriage is to be esteemed (Heb. 13:4), not just because He ordained it, but because it provides a safe home for one of the most important units in society — family.
God designed marriage to be that haven where spouses can enjoy lifelong commitment, shared purpose, sexual intimacy, raise children, and give and receive love in one of its most free and authentic forms. The problems we have now are not because marriage is bad in itself, but because the original design has been corrupted.
However, when we trust in Christ and rely on the Holy Spirit to walk according to the original design, we find that a godly marriage with Christ as the foundation leads to a beautiful home where each member feels loved, respected, and valued, and there’s flourishing.
Don’t you just love it when you see photos of Christian families living the Life together with happiness and joy? I know I do! In the end, everyone leaves. Family remains. So a godly marriage is truly worth wanting and believing in.
Now, let’s move on to consider why marriage is still worth believing in by evaluating the common objections we have about marriage:
6. The Objection of Fear: “What If It Doesn’t Last?”
I know you feel the fear, and can I tell you, it’s understandable. Many of us look at the marriages around us and see the woes that befall them. Divorce rates are at an all-time high, and there seems to be no hope at all. So rather than give yourself to be a victim, you tell yourself that it’s not worth the shot.
But my friend, that’s the voice of fear speaking, not the voice of Truth. The Spirit God has given you is not that of slavery to fall back into fear, but it is that of power, love, and a sound mind (Rom. 8:15; 2 Tim. 1:7). Read that again. I would emphasize the latter.
Marriages don’t simply fail all the time because marriage intrinsically is inimical. No, it’s often due to the lack of preparation, readiness, discernment, and wisdom on our part. That’s why instead of fear, God gives us a sound mind — to think clearly, prepare rightly, and act differently. Marriage is not a game of chance.
No, you have to build intentionally by putting in the work of commitment and daily choosing your partner even when feelings go awry. And most importantly, it’s about building on the right foundation, the Rock, and depending on His mercy. When you build on and with Him, your marriage is bound to stand no matter the storms (Ps. 127:1; Matt. 7:24-25).
7. The Objection of Freedom: “I Don’t Want to Lose Myself”
Right where you are, think deeply about this question: Do you view marriage as a gift or a cage? I have seen women — great women with outstanding potential and a high calling go into marriage and become a shadow of themselves. You may have seen some too.
Maybe not even because of that, but the thought of marital demands, the fact that you are “stuck” with one person for life, and that you can’t make decisions on your own based on your timeline and preferences but have to do so with the consent and submission to another, can feel constricting.
To this end, marriage is a no-no and a no-go area. But hey, do you know that many who try to escape the “dungeon” of marriage to explore the many options out there still face loneliness, ennui, depression, and purposelessness? Jesus tells us that we don’t find life (ourselves) by hiding it. Quite the contrary. The irony is that we find ourselves by losing ourselves (Matt. 16:25), and that’s one thing covenant love in a marriage does.
And just to encourage you, not all partners stultify your potential. True, godly partners fan and preserve your flames so you burn brightly, and boy, there’s that sense of deep fulfillment. Let me end with this verse: “For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love ‘serve one another‘” (Galatians 5:13, emphasis mine).
8. The Objection of Sufficiency: “I Am Fine on My Own”
Many people these days, especially women who are intelligent, successful, and learned, profess this: “I am already complete. I do not need marriage to be whole”. And that’s not far from the truth. You are complete, and you do not need a man or marriage to be complete.
Your worth, identity, dignity, and life are hidden in Christ (Col. 3:3). Nothing can take it away, and nothing can add to it. And just so you know, singleness is not a curse. Paul was unmarried and he gave beautiful reasons why singleness is to be honored (1 Cor. 7:32-35).
Jesus never married either, and they still lived fulfilled, productive lives. But then, their major reasons for singlehood were that their lives were yielded in full devotion and service to the Lord. So if the Lord has placed a desire in you to marry, please don’t shut it off because you think you don’t need a man, or a spouse.
Scripture does say in Ecclesiastes 4:9 that, “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!” There’s something truly beautiful about seeing people who have chosen themselves daily, and after decades, are still madly in love with each other. Consider it, friend.
9. The Objection of Past Wounds: “I Have Already Been Hurt”
I watched a movie, and I saw this bride clad in her white gown, happier than she had ever been in her entire life as she waited for him — the man who had won her heart. She waited for minutes, then an hour, then hours, but he never came. He never left as much as a note. He. Just. Left. Maybe this resonates with you. Or maybe not.
Maybe yours is that your partner whom you loved and trusted with your life cheated on you, or maybe you have been treated like garbage because of gender stereotypes, or maybe you have been abused (especially sexually), or maybe you just grew up long enough to see your parents prove that marriage is the next wrong thing close to Hell. Your objection has nothing to do with culture. It’s deeply personal.
My friend, I know it’s easy to write it off or advise it off, and believe me, it truly hurts to remind you about this, but maybe, just maybe, the Healer is here (Isa. 53:5; Ex. 15:26). Broken people do broken things in a broken world. But there’s Someone worth trusting who will never break your heart. He is Jesus.
He’s here to heal your broken heart and bind up your wounds (Ps. 147:3). After His surgery, He will unravel a version of you that is whole, redeemed, and more secure and wiser to love deeply, in His way, with His son or daughter, and for His glory. Give Him the ashes, friend. He’s the best Graffiti Artist there is.
To conclude, we have examined the reasons why marriage ís still worth believing in and giving a shot at. We have seen that it is worthwhile firstly because it has its origin in the mind of God. It also serves an eternal purpose and glorifies God, as well as because it offers God-given companionship and a haven for family.
Again, we considered the common objections we often have as we think about marriage and evaluated them in the light of God’s Word. My sincere prayer is that by God’s grace, if there had been apathy because of the recent happenings surrounding marriage, the Lord will awaken a fresh desire in you as it pleases Him. In the end, your marriage is not just about you. It’s about Him — for His glory and His fame. So give it some thought, will ya? Can’t wait to see what God does next. Adios!
