10 INDICATORS YOUR PARTNER MAY NOT BE THE RIGHT CHOICE FOR MARRIAGE
Introduction
Choosing the right partner is one of the most significant decisions in life and should be taken seriously.
Marrying wrong can be very risky and highly demanding. You will agree with me that marrying right helps you fulfill your life dreams and help you live a fulfilled life while a bad marriage takes away your dreams and aspirations. It’s therefore expedient to consider these indicators that we will be considering in this article. Over the years, I have seen young individuals walk up to me, both male and female, ma’am, I don’t want to marry wrong they say. Aside from turning them to God, I also tell them what to look out for in their prospective partners.
Lots of men and women ignored these indicators and have become victims of bad marriages, and toxic homes. Marriage is a lifetime institution that should be taken seriously before leaping. Although some counselors advise that if it doesn’t work for you, drop it and pick another as believers, we understand the importance of seeking God first and looking out for virtues in the lives of whoever we choose. The partner you choose to spend the rest of your life with determines how far you will go.
It’s essential to walk into marriage with one’s spiritual and physical eyes open. If he or she is good, are you satisfied with the character they possess? It’s a choice! Not every good thing is fit for you. It can be good and not be good for you. Every individual created by God will get to that point where they will have to make choices of whom to marry (although some may choose not to get married either because of their faith or by choice). Discernment and the wisdom of God are needed in making this life decision.
I am amazed when I hear some individuals say they didn’t notice anything about their partner’s behavior before they got married. It’s either because they are so much in love or they are desperate to get married. However, these signs have always been there. A person’s character doesn’t change suddenly except it gets influenced by certain factors. A spouse can be good right from time but suddenly changes, these may be because of some factors you have to look into. The focus of this article is to help you discover what you need to know before you get married to that person. Is that person good for you? What are the characters and traits you shouldn’t overlook? What are the indicators you shouldn’t ignore?
This article will consider 10 indicators your partner may not be the right choice for marriage.
1. Neglect Of Spiritual Growth
2. Lack Of Shared Faith And Values
3. Infidelity And Lack Of Commitment
4. Financial Irresponsibility
5. Different Life Goals And Priorities
6. Emotional Unavailability
7. Manipulation And Control
8. Refusal To Forgive
9. Lack Of Support And Encouragement
10. Selfishness And Self-Centeredness
1. Neglect Of Spiritual Growth
Oftentimes, the spiritual aspect of a relationship should be taken seriously. Today, young individuals go into relationships for weird reasons and fun. They are so desperate for companionship that they mostly overlook their partner’s spiritual deficiencies. A partner who encourages you to grow spiritually will be a good partner. In spiritual growth lies a lot of virtues that even our natural self lacks. In a relationship, if you keep forcing your partner on spiritual things, you should watch out.
Ask yourself what is taking much of your partner’s time. Why is my partner not interested in spiritual things? Will I be comfortable with this if we get married? Don’t ignore a partner who has zero passion for the things of God. You have tried persuading your partner and they are not yielding? Let go of such a relationship because if you don’t, it will become a prayer point for you in marriage. It’s important to note that a partner who neglects spiritual growth can hinder your spiritual journey. You ought to grow together in grace and the knowledge of God and a good partner will ensure that happens (2 Peter 3:18).
2. Lack Of Shared Faith and Values
As believers, marrying an unbeliever is not permitted. No amount of grammar can tackle this fact. The Bible is our compass and it says we should not be unequally yoked with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14). It’s dangerous and risky to get married to someone who is an enemy of your faith, an unbeliever. Also, it’s a lie if you think you can change them in marriage. A partner who does not share your faith and core values will never and can never be the will of God for you because marrying such a person will tamper with your faith, and your relationship with God and may result in significant conflict and division. Therefore, don’t make such a huge mistake.
3. Infidelity And Lack Of Commitment
Faithfulness is foundational to trust and should be rated high in any relationship. In a relationship, it’s very crucial to check if your partner is committed to what you both have. A partner who is not faithful to you while courting will not be faithful in marriage. If your partner is a cheat now and they plead with you often to overlook their errors and you keep forgiving them over and over, take a cup of water, calm down, and walk away now. It’s safer to leave a relationship full of deceit before it graduates into marriage. Marriage is honorable, it should be pure and holy (Hebrews 13:4).
4. Financial Irresponsibility
A partner who is irresponsible financially will remain so even in marriage. Financial Irresponsibility often leads to stress and conflict in marriage. If your partner can not be trusted with money, spends lavishly on irrelevant things, lacks self-control when it comes to money, often piles up debts and fails to pay back. These are indicators of what you should expect even in marriage. Finance is also a very important aspect of marriage and should not be joked with if you want to go far and if you desire a stress-free financial lifestyle (Proverbs 22:7).
5. Different Life Goals And Priorities
Your life goals must align with your partner’s. Your priorities and goals must be in agreement and must be compatible because it has a huge impact on your relationship and future. A lady once wanted a brother but she insisted if they were to get married, the brother wouldn’t be a pastor. The brother’s vision is channeled toward his calling, however, the sister says she will never be a pastor’s wife. There is no agreement whatsoever in this. Both had to go their different ways. If such a relationship is forced, this sister will frustrate the brother’s vision. Who are you willing to embark on your lifetime journey with? Are your visions in agreement? Can two people walk together except they agree (Amos 3:3)?
6. Emotional Unavailability
Partners are partners because they need to be companions. When they aren’t companions, they aren’t fit to be called one. Is that brother with you when you need him most? Is that sister beside you when you need her the most? You often make excuses for them now, your partner couldn’t show up because it’s work, oh! She is probably busy at work, oh! He has lots of assignments and can’t even remember anything now! Wherever your treasure is, your heart will be there! When you cry, do you get a shoulder to cry on or they are mostly the reason why you cry? Look out for this. If you are not included in their priorities, don’t overlook this (Romans 12:15).
7. Manipulation And Control
A partner who manipulates or seeks to control you does not respect your autonomy and should be avoided because such relationships eventually become toxic when they graduate into marriage. A good partner will respect you, and your opinion, and will love to hear from you before making important decisions. If you often get shut up, don’t want to speak, feel your views and opinions don’t matter, or often shout at you, avoid such partners because this is just a clear picture of what you should expect in marriage.
8. Refusal To Forgive
I once had a colleague whose boyfriend would always find it difficult to forgive her whenever they had issues. He will always remind her of her past wrongs. I advised her against going into marriage with such a person because it would only result in depression for her. If he or she finds it very difficult to forgive you or remind you often of past wrongs, walk away. Your peace of mind is much more important. Forgiveness is a virtue a true child of God should possess. If it’s missing, your partner’s salvation is questionable (Colossians 3:13).
9. Lack Of Support And Encouragement
A supportive partner is essential for mutual growth, thriving, and fulfillment in life. A partner who supports your vision will help you thrive and progress. If your partner doesn’t see any good reason why you should continue to push that vision and see to its fulfillment but wants you to stop pushing if you are not often encouraged to do well but only focus on their lives selfishly, don’t ignore this. You need your spouse’s support and encouragement to thrive and progress. Embrace a partner who supports and encourages you ( 1 Thessalonians 5:11). Walk away from anyone who makes you feel less of yourself and doesn’t encourage you to do better.
10. Selfishness and Self-Centeredness
One of the natures of God is selflessness. He loves us so much that He gave up His son for us (John 3:16). Partners who only think about themselves are not fit to be with. Partners who often put themselves above you and do not care about you will not do better in marriage. Such a partner will struggle to put the relationship first and will always misbehave. Therefore, stay away from partners who think about themselves more than they think about others.
In conclusion, identifying these indicators early in a relationship can help you discern whether you are with the right partner or not and will help you take a bold step, make the right decision, and avoid making a mistake that can affect your entire life. No man is indeed perfect, we all have our flaws, weaknesses, and imperfections, however, it is important to avoid those indicators that appear little now to avoid a bigger problem in marriage. The word of God is rich in profound wisdom, therefore, let it be your guide always. I believe in the Holy Spirit to help you make the right choice in life. Amen.
Smartcouples.net © 2024. All rights reserved.
