11 Ways To Identify A Financially Abused Relationship – Marriage And Finance
Financial abuse is a known weapon that economically handicaps couples. It’s a silent weapon used in toxic relationships to financially control the partner’s access to economic resources and stability. A Financially abused relationship is one that allows for a notorious degree of selfishness. When couples are dating, in a relationship, or married, they seem to care for themselves with love and kindness. Such kindness thinks of the other more than on self. For love is kind, the Bible says, and unselfish (1 Corinthians 13:4-5). But a situation where you think only for yourself and don’t think or care for your partner is worrisome. It’s abusive and it’s toxic.
This teaching is designed to help couples with 11 ways to identify a financially abused relationship. It’s adapted teaching originally taken from “YOUR MONEY, OUR MONEY,” authored by Rev Dr. PC Akubueze, and used under permission for smartcouples.net.
That being said, the 11 ways to identify a financially abused relationship are:
1. When Your Partner Spends On Self More Than On You. A Financially abusive partner spends on themselves more than they do on you. This might be applicable to all areas of life. They spend on themselves without a second thought. When it’s for them, it’s alright. But when it’s for you, there must be a lecture followed by a fight.
2. When Your Partner Uses Intimidation To Silence You. In a financially abusive relationship, fear is the order of the day. They use fear to control you. Their use of intimidation is to make you afraid of the consequences of fighting back. And they can manipulate to keep the abuse reasonable, coated. On the outside, it looks like they’re protecting you. But on the inside, your partner Just wants to silence your ability to retaliate.
3. When Your Partner Uses Violence To Silence You. In another instance, they can use all kinds of violence, including physical violence, just to mute your intelligence as they keep abusing you, financially.
4. When Your Partner Uses Threats To Silence You. Some partners use the threat of disclosure of personal secrets just to keep you silent from fighting back when money is inappropriately dispensed. I remember one abusive partner who takes advantage of the other because he has a bad past that he isn’t proud of. Whenever the wife spends unreasonably, she would make the reference of his past as a reason to behave the way she did. And as a result, the husband becomes silenced because going down memory lane might be hurtful and costly to his reputation. That right there is a financially abusive relationship.
5. When Your Partner Changes Your Account Without Your Consent. Yes, it happens. Some abusive partners change your account details without asking for your consent or informing you at all. They would keep such information secret to themselves.
6. When Your Partner Blocks You Access To Their Joint Account. In a financial abuse relationship, the abusive partners can block your access to the account you both share without your consent. This increases the control and hold they have over you.
7. When Your Partner Hates To Be Asked Questions About Family Financial Statements. Knowing that some money that belongs to you both is spent and that it’s normal to bring the other partner up to speed, some financially abusive partners would never agree to give statements when they spend your MONEY irresponsibly. That is anathema to them.
8. When Your Partner Deceptively Takes Over Your Account. In financial abuse relationships, there are some partners that take over control of your account gradually but surely. It may start partially but totally they will control everything. They would start lovingly and when they have a full grip of the account, you will see their true color and intent.
9. When Your Partner Rations Your Allowance. Yes, just as it is. Your Partner may well be giving you money without any complaints. But when your partner begins to ration what they used to give you for one reason or the other, abuse is given birth to. Over time, the rationing only gets smaller and smaller and even stops. This is very possible in a financially abusive environment or relationship.
10. When Your Partner Refuses You To Work. In order to keep controlling you financially, your partner would not want you to get close to any situation that can get you jobs. They can literally tell you not to work or worry over it at all because they would provide for you. In some cases, they actually do provide as long as they keep you as they want you to be. And this usually means living beneath your worth. In some other cases, your partner may be jealous or/and intimidated by your independence when you work to foot the bills. They would prefer you to rely on them and detest any job offers, whether lucrative or not, to empower your independence.
11. When Your Partner Always Gives Excuses When Asked For Financial Help or Assistance. To be candid, abuse is inevitable whenever your partner gives you one reason or another just to avoid giving you money. Cases like this never end. There must always be something to put you off, even with a lie. Period.
We hope the 11 ways to identify a financially abused relationship outlined above were helpful to you. But that’s not all there’s, keep in touch with smartcouples.net for the subsequent part of the series in our next post. Please, until then, take good care of yourselves and stay safe, everyone.
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