5 PRACTICAL WAYS TO MAKE YOUR PARTNER FEEL LOVED

The words, “I love you” should definitely be topping the world chart as the most professed words in our world today. Our whole society seems to be enchanted with the idea of love. Everybody wants to love. Even if they don’t, they desire to be loved (you totally relate to this, I’m sure). Even God is not excluded (Matt. 22:37, Jn. 3:16). However, with this euphoria of so much love in the air, most people only merely say, “I love you.” They never really do or show, “I love you.”

From the beginning of time, God clearly showed His love for us; His bride, by His actions. He made us in His image and likeness (Gen. 1:26-27). This is no ordinary privilege. He kept us in a beautiful garden and provided just about everything we needed. Even when we fell, He did not abandon us. Rather, He initiated a plan to bring us back to Himself (Rom. 6:5-8). When God said and still says, “I love you,” He meant and still means every word.

But now, we are a little lost. We know of God’s amazing example. We know we are meant to express our love (1 Jn. 3:18). We do love our partners and desire earnestly to express this love. But we are at a crossroads. How?

That’s why you are reading this article right now. This piece elucidates five practical ways you can express love to the love of your life. Do enjoy and get “love-savvy!”

1. GIVE GIFTS

“For God so loved the world that He gave…(Jn. 3:16). God Himself who created us out of nothing but clay chooses to give us all things (Rom. 8:32). He gives us; His bride, food, shelter, clothing, an abundant life here on earth and even an eternal life in Heaven. One of the greatest show of love by God is the gift of His Son, Jesus Christ. Now, this was not so He could come to the earth and have a swell time, but rather, so He could give His life. Thanks to this precious gift, we now have peace with God and enjoy a thriving relationship with Him (Rom. 5:1). What a great way to express true love!

A gift is a great way to express love to your partner. To your partner, just being aware of the fact that you went out of your way to get them something that will make them smile is very soothing to the soul. Some months ago, I received some amazing gifts from a friend of mine. You cannot imagine how wide I smiled that day. You also can get your partner great gifts like shoes, dresses, a wallet, chocolate or even their favorite pick of flowers. Imagine grabbing your partner’s favorite snack on your way to her home. She would beam a wide-mouthed smile and almost throw you over with a huge embrace.

But love is not only expressed when we just give gifts, the attitude and expression with which we also receive gifts from our partners is also an expression of love. See it as a reciprocation of deep affection. Receiving a gift with a glum, gloomy face only shows your partner that you do not really value their gifts. Even though you may not realize it, it shows them that you are unappreciative of their love. However, when you receive gifts with smiles and unwrap presents with excitement, it sends a signal to your significant other that you are also in love! Now, that’s a beautiful love circle.

2. MAXIMISE THE POWER OF YOUR WORDS

Sometimes, I look in the mirror and I hear a voice saying, “Mene, you look beautiful today.” Now, that’s the voice of the Holy Spirit who is our Lover and Best Friend. In God’s Word, you get to hear beautiful things said about you – Christ’s lover. You get to hear amazing words like you are a king or queen and priest. It also tells you that you are redeemed, chosen, destined for greatness and greatly loved by God (Rev. 1:6, Gal. 3:13, Eph. 1:11, Jer. 29:11). I am sure these words send great chills down your spine. They give you that glimmer of hope in a world full of despair. These words make you know that you are truly loved and cared for.

For some people, words mean almost everything. As children of God, God’s Word means the world to us. Where would we be without it? As a loving partner who desires to overwhelm his/her spouse with love, you have to maximize the power of the tongue God has given you. Words we know can hurt (especially in these dark days) but hey, they can also heal (Prov. 15:4). And these are the speeches that are to flow from your lips. Send texts, and messages, or write posts about your lover. Social media makes it way easier these days. Even when your partner runs off to work early in the morning, you can always send that reassuring message of love. Handwritten notes are also pretty romantic too.

I cannot remember the countless times good words said to me set me on a pedestal of success. You may think they are insignificant but boy, words wield power. Tell your partner that she looks beautiful. Tell him that he looks good in his tie. Tell her that she cooks well. You will be amazed as you watch her prepare delicacies that rival those of Hilda Baci. Always look out for the things that are unique to your partner (especially those they’re not so proud of) and compliment them. As you complement their gaps, also say compliments.

There are truths you know about your partner, probably their failings or weaknesses. As much as you desire to help them be all that God wants them to be, try not to lash out at them with the truth in a bitter, sarcastic way (Eph. 4:29). Your husband may probably snore at night. But this does not warrant you to tie a karate belt early in the morning and whine. Rather, you could tell him in a soothing way how you feel. Divert your focus to helping him get better with each passing day. It can be hard sometimes, but God has made grace available (2 Cor. 12:9).

3. GO OUT OF YOUR WAY TO SERVE THEM

When our Lord Jesus was here on earth, He did not sit as some Emperor Nero barking orders at us. Rather, He served us in love (Matt. 20:28). Because of His compassion for us, He would give us physical food even when He had provided spiritual food (Matt. 14:14-21). He spent time listening to us, teaching us, healing us, and traveling far distances just to see that we are saved. All of these go to prove His great love for us. He never felt like He knew all (even though He does). Rather, He went as far as washing His disciples’ feet (Jn. 13:14). There is no way one would not feel loved and honored by this.

Now, getting to your partner, when was the last time that you, as a husband, helped your wife with the dishes? When last did you help her babysit? And to my darling ladies in the house, when last did you help your husband sort out his briefcase? Or when last did you help him knot his tie? Although these sound very simple; almost insignificant, yet they are very profound. As partners, one amazing way to express love is by doing little (or big) random acts of kindness. You may never know, but this goes a long way in making a salient difference in the life of your partner.

Some partners may have grown up with mentalities that predispose them to trying to do everything all by themselves. But that little cup of coffee you pass across the table or that little help with office work you volunteer to do, will go a long way in their minds. They will feel so loved and valued and you can bet that that bright burning flame of love will never grow faint. Even if it does, another act of service from a true, unselfish heart will set it aflame once again.

At times, acts of service that express your love can be as simple as doing the things your partner loves together with them. Imagine reading your partner’s favorite book and exchanging reviews. Or watching a movie or sports match that gets your partner super excited. Other times, you can just organize double dates with their friends or hang out together with them. These show your partner that you care about the people they care about. Yeah, these are simple but absolutely surreal!

4. GIVE A REASSURING HUG: 

I don’t know about you. But I feel God’s arms are so wide and they are always open to give us a very huge embrace. We see examples of true love in the Bible between Jacob and Esau. We see this when they gave themselves a very big hug as they cried and kissed each other (Gen. 33:4). There were several other instances when warm embraces did wonders in the world of love. The lady with her lover in the book of Songs of Solomon also testifies of the beauty of an embrace (Songs. 2:6). I once came across a quote that says that a hug is a handshake from the heart. There are times that I have been given great, big hugs, and truly, those memories are unforgettable.

Nonetheless, true love is not only restricted to hugs. Other forms of physical touch such as holding hands affectionately, a rub on the back, or even a kiss can go a long way in showing true affection. These little acts when done appropriately create manifold expressions in the minds of the ones we love. And you know what’s better? They keep falling madlessly in love with us.

5. SPEND QUALITY TIME WITH THEM

Our God is not lonely, yet He desires a relationship with each one of us; His bride (Gal. 3:25 MSG). We can learn something from this. What do we learn? Simply God desires us to spend our time in His presence. The more time we spend with God, the more we come to appreciate His uniqueness, nature, goodness and love in our lives. When we spend time in His presence, we show Him that we value Him enough to sacrifice our time for His sake. Maintaining a relationship with Him shows Him that we are not just after His gifts but we truly love Him. Even when we  consider normal academic life, I am sure you will agree that the courses you give more time and pay more attention to, are the ones that yield the highest rewards.

Spending quality time with our partners is paramount in every relationship and is an excellent way to prove that we love them. But then, we can spend time with them, but not quality time. Quality time is useful time invested into a relationship that truly brings forth rewards and a tighter bond of friendship. You know, it would not take you so much to spend a weekend walking around the street with yours only. Many couples wait till they have a vacation before they spend quality time together.

The sad thing is that by the time they are ready to spend this time together, their hearts may not be just as ready due to a prolonged emotional distance. Maximising times like early mornings before you rush off to work, or breakfast and dinner moments, or even TV time is a step in the right direction. Try watching a rom-com together. Or you could just sit outside and gaze at the sunset.

During those moments, unselfishly devote your time and undivided attention to your partner. I get angry when people who I do not even have a tight bond with become distracted when I speak with them. It gets worse when they can’t take their eyes off their mobile devices. I doubt your partner whom you share a bond stronger than that of a three-corded rope will think any different. Be intentional about asking about their day, their bosses, their goals and dreams. Genuinely share in their joys and woes (Rom. 12:15, Gal. 6:2).

Also, at periods when you choose to invest quality time, try to be a good listener. Truly be empathetic. Maintain eye contact, a smile or you could even give an embrace as you listen. This shows that you truly love your partner and are not just there for the sake of it.

Finally, to express love and have it appreciated is a beautiful thing. God is not against love – not one bit. In fact, He orchestrated it. Learn how best your partner appreciates your show of love and do not relent in showering this love on him/her.

Our God loves it when we truly love.

Remain love-savvy and God bless you.

 

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