6 Reasons I Hate The Dating Process

Here we go again talking about dating. Anyway, I am Chika and this is my story, which I believe many can relate to. Dating is a part of life that every adult shall kinda experience if they are to have any meaningful relationships. Some say it’s a process and I agree with that too. It’s not just an event or a one-time experience and that’s it. No, I believe it transcends your clock toward eternity. I for one have dated long enough to know what I talk about when I talk about dating, generally.

Although the experience is uniquely mine, many can relate to it since we all share a common humanity. That thing that makes us human would make you feel like I did when you experience what I experienced. From the bank of my experiences, let me share with you some reasons I hate the dating process. By nature, I’m not a hater of any kind. And hating the dating process does not imply that I don’t date or encourage others to date before settling down nor does it imply that I don’t teach about dating the right way.

Maybe, after reading my story you would come to agree with me that I don’t discourage the practice but have noted and penned down certain awkward behaviors and fiddly practices that might come with it because one is exposed to the process of dating. To me, this is to warn others and equip them rather than to prevent them from dating and inhibit the process entirely.

Well, let me get started by the way!

1. The First Reason I Hate The Dating Process Is The Classroom Feel It Brings.

I have dated and many times it’s about incessant questions as in an interview and makes you feel like you are having an exam. My dates kept asking me questions from their notes that required short answers like the Yes and No types. It was so cringed and I loathed each experience, to say the least.

Yours might not read from paper but could be asking endless questions that give you a classroom feel and make the whole process boring. I think there’s a place for questions and that shouldn’t be formal or on one event. You cannot possibly ask all the questions there are about a person on one date. If you agree that it’s a process, okay, let it flow naturally, ask from your heart because it takes an entire process to get to know your partner better. Spontaneity doesn’t create that classroom feel and involves informal chatting. You have to ask and you have to be asked too. Put some life in it.

2. The Second Reason I Hate The Dating Process Is Getting To Bed on The First Day.

People I have dated, most of them just wanted to get down physically with me on the very first day. My good Lord! This is so absurd, but it’s not uncommon. While some people do it, it’s a big turn-off for me. My advice is to avoid getting to bed with a person you just met for the first time. The experience would certainly create and leave you with a lot of unanswered questions. If he wants it that badly and can’t wait, he might not be the right one for you. Hold your peace and close your legs. Children of God aren’t in haste to get physical before they talk.

3. The Third Reason I Hate The Dating Process Is Being Too Money-Conscious.

Well, I must say at a time I was tempted to material things as a sort of guarantee for dating someone but that didn’t work out well on many occasions. And thanks to Rev. PC Akubueze for helping me out. I do celebrate you dearly, sir.

This point can go both ways, anyway. Whether a female or male partner, he or she can be so focused on money to secure material things as a prerequisite for dating someone. Ladies fall for this more often than not. And I know what I am saying because I have been there before. But it’s quite misleading for not all that glitters is gold. This type of mindset is responsible for a lot of misjudgments and pain in relationships. Because he is rich doesn’t mean he is good. Don’t let money deceive you. Know your values and worth. Your values shouldn’t be at the cost of anyone’s pocket. It’s priceless.

4. The Fourth Reason I Hate The Dating Process Is The Lack Of Commitment.

There are some men that I have met who would never want to commit but keep dating you forever. Even if you got down with them, they would never commit, to the point where you would feel used. But people like these who would want to date you for 10 years and make you baby mamas before they think of committing, I have always cut them off from my life and moved on. Ladies, know why and for how long you are dating.  It’s unwise to allow a man to make you a mother in a relationship that leads to nowhere. RUN!

5. The Fifth Reason I Hate The Dating Process Is To MultiDate.

To multidate, I won’t do nor have someone do it to me. Without getting you confused, to multidate is to have many people as dates at one point in time. This one, too, I have experienced. Done and dusted! This is one reason I hate the dating process, or should I call it the dating game by now? A man wants to date you but has many other ladies he is dating at the same time unknown to you. This practice irks me, Grrh! It peeves me to madness and rattles the devil out of me.

I call this an insult to womanhood. Avoid men who do this and even ladies too who do this should be avoided. Because you would hardly find honesty in such a relationship. They can’t be truthful until you find out about their mess. Anyway, we are adults and should know what we want. Something is not right if he wants Dorothy, Mary, Juliana, Mabel, Michelle, Cathy, and Somoni at the same time. Why waste your time? Just RUN!

6. The Sixth Reason I Hate The Dating Process Is Having No Vision For Dating.

This may be the last but not the least. I have met people who wanted to date me but had no vision for me. In other words, there was no ‘us’, no ‘together acts,’ just nothing together is envisaged. These people do not even know an iota about themselves, talkless about their dates. Before you enter a relationship, there must be a direction in which it is headed. They must be something that can keep both of you together, and looking forward to together.

What are you planning to do or become in the future with your would-be spouse? You should know this during the dating process and not after. Both of you can create a vision, or dream for your relationship that would consistently cause you to grow together. My sister and brothers, this is important to the success of any long-term relationship.

Thanks to the man of God, Reverend PC Akubueze, who opened my eyes, and gave me the opportunity to share my story.

Now, you might be rallying to my camp having read my story. But don’t just stop there, put it to use and make it work better in your lives and relationship. Make me glad to know that what I experienced and the utter confidence to share it did, indeed, help someone out there to not fail but get it right in their relationship.

Hey! I’m Chika and have been your host thus far. God bless you as I sign out.

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