9 Known Facts That Trap Women In Toxic Relationships
A relationship is said to be toxic when a partner or both manifest behaviors which are considered abusive to one partner or to themselves, and even abusive to those around them. A toxic relationship that gets progressive may have negative impacts not just on the couple but on their family in general (this includes children relatives and onlookers).
A toxic partner does all he or she could to gain and maintain control over the other partner. And in achieving this goal, the victims may have to endure inordinately harsh behavior that would subject them to psychological, physical, mental, sexual, or financial abuse.
As we consider the 9 known facts that trap women in toxic relationships, you would realize the manifestation of these toxic behaviors, which some women consider to be a very tight bolt to loosen, and hence difficult to break free from their chains.
These reasons aren’t the causes of their abusive quagmire, but the causes that handicap them from taking action against the abusive partner or stopping the abuses and/or leaving the toxic relationship entirely. Having said that, these 9 known facts are:
1. Because they are without family or relatives
Referring to family or having a sense of belonging, I have heard ladies say “I am alone and have no one to talk to when in trouble or to back me up when I’m being abused.” These victims felt kind of isolated in their quagmire.
It’s true that having extended family can help cope with the sting of relationship abuse. Not only would you have someone to talk to and help you see things in a different light, but you would also have a place of security to fall back on when things don’t work out in your current relationship.
In some cultures, when a lady’s marriage kind of fails, or say there is an unbearable abuse of a kind, the lady can go back to her father’s home or that of her relatives and she would be welcome. The sense of family can bolster the confidence to leave an abusive relationship and/or mitigate the pain of abusive relationships. However, when you have none to talk to or lean on during the moment of abuse, you are left with little or no option for rescue.
2. Because nobody believes their plight.
There are some well-placed and powerful people in communities who live double lives. The community respects them because of their economic and social statuses. They are perceived as good people to the outside world but within their households, they are tyrants and gross relationship abusers.
Because of the ‘supposedly’ good image, (which is fake, anyway) that people have about them, none would believe any news of abuse within their relationships. In fact, any evil spoken against these double-standard abusers might bring you trouble.
Females who find themselves in such situations would not dare to speak against them to others because no one would believe that they are being abused. Furthermore, the community would report back to their husbands which will make matters worse.
Just because none would believe their stories, they would prefer to stay mute and endure the abuse.
3. Because Her partner found her before.
You could be surprised that some ladies are trapped in abusive relationships because their partners found them in their cubbyholes, and brought them back after they left the relationship sometime earlier.
It cripples the mindset when you know you have no more hiding place whenever you move out. Your partner knows the ‘ins’ and ‘outs’ of your secret places. He knows every nook and cranny to get to you when he can’t find you. In short, you have been studied in a way that you just can’t attempt to hide anymore.
When you know that if you leave a relationship for good, your partner knows where exactly to locate you, you wouldn’t waste your time and efforts to make such a move. Hence, the abuse continues.
4. Because they are public figures or celebrities
There are celebrities who would prefer to persevere in abusive relationships than to feed the papers with the negative news of their abusive relationships. Some of these public figures hide the true facts of life within their marriages and sustain a facade to please their public audiences.
Some celebrities take the pain within their marriage and hide the truth for fear of the bad image it would cost their businesses, reputation, and social media followings. With this in mind, they can’t leave abusive relationships just like that.
5. Because Their partner is their personal care attendant.
There are some partners who still endure abusive relationships even when they aren’t feeling well and are on a sick bed but couldn’t leave because the person taking care of them is the abuser to whom they are married. This is quite pathetic and a true cocktail of madness and nightmare served in one piece.
I recall what the Rev. PC Akubueze recounted to us a few years ago. A well-educated lady was bedridden because she was paralyzed from head to toe, having been thrown from the balcony of the fourth floor by her husband and left for dead.
The couple had relationship issues and an altercation ensued, but the husband became furious and couldn’t control the situation. He pushed her off the balcony.
She was in a coma at the hospital, and the same husband who pushed her off the balcony became her personal care attendant who kept abusing her rights until it came to the notice and intervention of the Reverend.
This is just one out of the many on record. Some husband and wife abusers are in the health care sector too. They do not only abuse their partners at home but at the hospital and daycare services for adults. Victims of such abuses could find it hard to leave the relationships if their health care providers are the ones abusing them.
6. Because the partner threatens to expose her as a lesbian.
There are some ladies who are married to men but are still lesbians too. They really are into women but they marry men for a sort of cover-up. They are hiding their true sexual identity and orientation from the public.
Some of the men they married are abusive in the relationships but the women cannot leave because they are threatened to be exposed if they did. For fear of their secret being in the public domain, they would stay in abusive relationships as long as it lasts.
7. Because of the Fear of Exposing personal secrets
Some people endure abusive relationships because they are afraid that their personal secrets would be exposed and made known to the public and their adversaries to lunch on.
Exposure of such magnitude could cost them a fortune, their reputation, their business deals, etc. Because of the fear of the losses that may ensue from exposing their secrets, they would try to protect their interests by staying with their abusive partners. Such a threat would make them blench their desire to leave.
8. Because they receive death threats.
There are some ladies whose partners threaten to kill them if they endeavor to end or run away from the relationships they perceive as abusive. And some of these threats are not empty words or jokes at all. Some women have lost their lives in an attempt to escape from abusive relationships. For fear of their lives, they remain where they are still being abused.
9. Because of the Failed attempts.
Did you just read that? Yes, failed attempts can paralyze any other desire to actualize your dreams. I mean the dream of leaving the relationship for your freedom, sanity, and peace.
One can stay in an abusive relationship if every endeavor to quit has failed. Everything you tried in the past was aborted. It just didn’t work out and has affected you psychologically to the point of giving up on your dreams. When you give up the dream of leaving an abusive relationship, you accept the status quo as you settle down for nothing more but an abusive relationship.
To recap, the 9 known facts that trap women in a toxic relationship are 1) Because they are without a family. 2) Because nobody believes in their plight. 3) Because she was found before. 4) Because they are public figures. 5) Because the partner is a personal care attendant. 6) Because of the fear to be exposed as a lesbian 7) Because of the Fear of Exposing personal secrets. 8) Because they receive death threats. And 9) Because of the Failed attempts.
Have you had any experience with toxic behaviors? We would love to hear your story if that’s you. Share with us in the comment section or you can send us an email at firstname.lastname@example.org.