SEVEN DANGERS OF STAYING IN AN ABUSIVE MARRIAGE
Ruth and John seemingly look perfect on the surface as a couple but both are having a tough time in their home. As time passed, signs of emotional and verbal abuse began to unravel in their marriage. Ruth, even as a sound and bold person, notices that she is gradually succumbing to the criticisms from her husband, John. Despite the abuse, she clung to the hope that things would change someday.
As the abuse continues, John’s behavior begins to get worse as the day goes by. Ruth’s social life on the other hand became isolated because John succeeded in pushing Ruth’s family and friends far away from her.
On a fateful day, Ruth decided she could no longer endure the pain. She spoke to a close friend about her predicament in her marriage. The friend helped her access resources for victims of abuse. Ruth confronted her husband with her newfound strength and sought a path to freedom. This process however was difficult, it became a legal battle and emotional conflict.
However, her decision to quit and break free marked the beginning of her healing journey. With the support she got from friends, family, and counseling, she started her life all over again, rediscovered herself, and was willing to make things about her life better again.
Introduction
Marriage, as designed by God is sacred and blessed. It is designed to be an institution where love, support, and companionship dwell. It is also designed to bring joy and fulfillment in all facets of life. However, individuals can be exposed to grave dangers if their marriage is tainted by abuse.
Although our journey as Christians urges us to live life through the lights and revelations we derive from God’s word, it’s also important to be in a healthy marriage because it helps and supports God’s plan and purpose for our lives.
Ephesians 5:25 admonishes husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church. This means that for a home to be peaceful, there must be unconditional love, tolerance, and companionship. Colossians 3:19 also speaks against harsh treatment within the home and emphasizes the need to be gentle with one another.
In Galatians 5:22-23, the Bible speaks of the fruits of the spirit which we must possess as believers, this includes love, self-control, kindness, and so on. It is also expected that spouses fulfill each other’s needs 1 Corinthians 7:3.
This article will explore seven dangers associated with staying in an abusive marriage, drawing inspiration from biblical principles that guide toward a lifestyle of love, respect, and grace.
Here are some of the important dangers you should look out for if you decide to remain in an abusive marriage:
1. Physical Damage
Staying in an abusive marriage puts you as an individual at risk of harm. This kind of marriage violates the biblical principle which refers to our bodies as the temple of the Holy Spirit according to 1 Corinthians 6:19-20. Our bodies are temples in which the Holy Spirit dwells and it’s important to understand its sacredness, seek help, and break free from such environment that compromises it.
The effect of physical damage is not only limited to pains felt in the body, it also undermines the dignity of individuals created in God’s image. It is important to recognize this and prioritize your safety, seek help, and support, and reclaim that self-respect and care that aligns with biblical teachings.
2. Hindrance to God’s plan
Enduring an abusive marriage goes against God’s desire and plan for love, and respect in marriage. It challenges the biblical command which says husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the church according to Ephesians 5:25. The Bible presents us a picture of a healthy and loving marriage, the type that is rooted in selfless love and mutual respect.
It is important to remain in a relationship that seeks and honors God’s plan and design and not an unhealthy relationship that poses threats to the plan and purpose of God for marriage. It’s therefore important for you to reclaim your right to a relationship characterized by love, kindness, and the fulfillment of God’s purpose for marital unions by seeking solace in Him instead.
3. Effect on Children
Staying in an abusive marriage does not only affect you, but it also affects the children witnessing the abuse. This contradicts the emphasis the scriptures placed on protecting the vulnerable in Matthew 18:6. God’s love and care for children can be seen in various places in the Bible and this highlights the responsibility of parents to shield them from any form of harm.
Parents should therefore prioritize their children’s needs and wellbeing by providing a peaceful environment in the home. In a case of abuse, the victim should ensure the children in the home do not witness it. Instead, they should be in a peaceful environment outside the home if the marriage is not working.
4. Health Issues and Loss of Life
Several persons have developed critical health conditions as a result of an abusive marriage. A lot of individuals have met with untimely death in the process. The Bible says that a joyful heart is beneficial to one’s health according to Proverbs 17:22. The word of the Lord gives us a clear picture of the connection between our physical and mental wellbeing.
If the heart is joyful, the body will be healthy. Staying in an abusive marriage will not only pose threats to one’s health, but it may also result in sudden death which is against the promises of God which say “With long life will I satisfy you and show you my salvation” Psalms 91:16. To stay off this, there is a need to prioritize ones self-care, seek medical help and move to an environment that supports one’s overall well-being, aligning with biblical principles of holistic health.
5. Decline in Spiritual Life
Abuse in marriages often results in a decline in spiritual growth. When a relationship is marked by bitterness, cruelty, malice, physical violence, and abuse, it creates a Spiritual commotion which in turn affects our relationship with God. Our relationship and interactions with others should reflect spiritual and divine virtues as written in Ephesians 4:31 which states that we must embody virtues like love, kindness, and forgiveness.
Therefore, there is a need to recognize the severity of your relationship with God by reclaiming your spiritual well-being, seeking God’s help and guidance, and moving towards a good path of love and harmony. And if this fails, your relationship with God remains the utmost.
6. Lack of Companionship
In an abusive marriage, companionship is usually out of the equation. This is because both are already dwelling without love, against the biblical teachings of love 1 John 4:16. Instead, the abusive partner employs isolation as a tactic that contradicts the biblical notion that emphasizes strength in companionship, Ecclesiastes 4:9-10. Also, under the design of God, human beings are meant to connect and remain a community.
The Bible tells us that a man is expected to leave his parents and cleave to his wife and the two become one flesh Genesis 2:24. It therefore becomes a problem if they fail to cleave in that marriage. Dwelling in isolation disrupts the plan of God. It is therefore expedient that individuals in an abusive marriage seek support and companionship that aligns with biblical principles, break free from isolation, and regain a sense of friendship by connecting with others in a healthy and supportive manner.
7. Effects on Relationships
Abusive marriages affect relationships with friends and family. It disrupts family harmony and affects God’s divine plan for friendship, unity, and forgiveness according to Proverbs 18:24, Colossians 3:13-14. Genuine friendships contribute to personal growth, well-being, and unity among friends and families and also promote a thriving and loving household.
The Bible instructs that men should pursue peace with others Romans 12:18, and strive for a family environment that aligns with biblical teachings on love, compassion, empathy, mutual care, and unity because we all need family and quality friends.
In conclusion, staying in an abusive marriage is dangerous to one’s well-being physically, mentally, and emotionally. The scripture emphasizes the importance of love, respect, mutual care, and mutual support in marriage Ephesians 5:25-33. Also, it encourages believers to seek peace and pursue righteousness, Hebrews 22:14, Matthew 5:9.
Therefore, enduring abuse goes against what the Bible teaches and promotes which is cherishing one another and maintaining the sanctity of marriage Colossians 3:19, 1 Corinthians 7:3. God desires that His children live in freedom and not in fear 2 Timothy 1:7. Deciding to stay away from an abusive marriage aligns with the biblical values of dignity, self-respect, unity, and the pursuit of a life filled with love according to 1 Corinthians 16:14.
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