HOW DOES PRAYER SALVAGE A FAILING RELATIONSHIP? – 11 Tips To Mentally Imbibe
Years before Sara said, “I do,” she had prayed earnestly to God for her husband. She never really understood what she was doing back then, but she did it anyway. When she finally met Mike, she knew her prayers had been answered. He was all she needed and she felt God’s peace when around him. In their early years of marriage, they would hold hands, go down on their knees, and pray together.
But then, disaster struck. Mike lost his job and their daughter became gravely ill. Mike became depressed and Sara began to see a side of him she never knew existed. In just a couple of months later, their marriage was literally hanging on a thread. All that was left was her wondering, “Is God still here?” “Did I really hear Him right?” “Is there still hope for my marriage?” Yet Sara never gave up praying.
Like Sara, your marriage may be deep in bruises right now. Maybe, it might still be bliss but there are little blisters here and there. You have tried all you possibly can to make it work, but it’s all futile. You constantly wonder if there’s any other thing to do or if there is anyone who can help. The good news is this: God can (Lk. 1:37). He is able and will always be able. You just have to reach out to Him in sincerity, faith, and humility of heart through prayer (1 Jn. 5:14, 2 Sam. 22:7).
Prayer is one powerful weapon given to us by God to know Him better and also to work on our behalf (2 Cor. 10:4-5).
Honestly, prayer has worked wonders in the lives of so many, not just in Bible times but even in our days. I believe so much in the power of prayer. This is because I look back at things that have happened in my life, and there’s always something to be grateful to God for. Even when everything seemed messy and hopeless, God revealed a message.
I want you to know that you really do matter to God and so does your relationship. Believe it (Ps. 103:11-13). He earnestly desires and is able to sustain its bliss, as well as heal its bruises. But He wants you to come to Him in consistent, heartfelt, and persistent prayer (Matt. 11:28). When you do this, great things happen that can help your marriage. Not only that, but prayer helps you and your partner.
In this piece, I have briefly outlined some of the great things that will happen to you, your partner, and your relationship when you pray. Do stay blessed as you read on.
1. Prayer will make your business, God’s business (1 Pet. 5:7)
You must know of the hymn that says that we bear needless worry and so much pain because we never really lay our burdens at the foot of the cross. When you begin to pray for your failing relationship, however, you are telling God that you do not have the power to keep or help it on your own (Zech. 4:6). You are telling Him that only He can make a difference and give you the success that you seek. You are letting Him into your situation, literally giving Him the wheel or handing the reins to Him.
As you pray, you let go of the burden of trying to do it all by yourself (Matt. 11:28). You just stay held in God’s arms, letting Him fight the battles that only He can win in the first place (1 Sam. 17:47, 2 Chron. 20:17). Prayer keeps you calm and fills you with that peace that makes you confident that it will be alright (Phil. 4:6-7). You can trust God to help you because He understands you (Heb. 4:15). Just that thought alone will give you strength and hope. Imagine how Hannah prayed and just truly surrendered everything to God. It became His business – His problem. And He sure did know the best way out of it (1 Sam. 1:10-20). Just cast your cares!
2. Prayer will allow for a transformation of your hearts (Ezek. 36:26)
As I say this right now, you might think, “Oh well, thank God, my husband’s/wife’s heart is going to get the God-treatment.” That is a very great thing to say and sure it sparks joy. But before you get excited and all, know that before God transforms the heart of that spouse who you think is the bad guy, He will have to work on yours first. And not just your heart, but your mind too (Rom. 12:2, 2 Cor. 3:18).
This is what happens as you yield yourself to prayer and also learn of God’s nature through His Word. God will refine your heart, change your mindset, and help you see things as He does. When He has done this, He can then work through you for the change you seek in your spouse. But you have to commit to prayer.
3. Prayer will keep the love burning
There are so many things around you that may have already or are currently quenching the flames of passion in your relationship. You try so much to stay in love or give love, but you find it very difficult to do so. This is where prayer comes to the fore. As you fellowship with God through prayer and close communion with Him, you will come to realize what true love is. He will also reveal to you the immense love which He has lavishly poured on your inside (1 Cor. 13:4-8, Rom. 5:5).
Prayer will then teach and enable you to pour out this love that God has already poured on your inside onto your spouse. It will overflow if you have come to know true Love through prayer. He will help you truly love your partner even when all he/she does is spite you. This sort of love can only come from God as it is easy to love when things are going smoothly. This is why you need to get to know Him through prayer.
Of course, it may not seem like the love is there when all you hear are threats of ending the marriage or he/she treats you with contempt, despite your efforts. But just hold still. Keep believing God. He is love, so you can completely trust Him to sustain that flickering flame in your relationship (1 Jn. 4:7-8).
4. Prayer will help you identify the true enemy (Eph. 6:12)
It is so easy to see your partner as the enemy especially when he/she lambasts you with insults or drains you with abuse. But then, prayer helps you to identify and know the real enemy for who he is. Do you know who he is? He is the devil and not your partner. I know you certainly see no devil beating you up or mismanaging your finances. You see a human. That’s true. But know that the devil uses your unkind, erring spouse only because s(he) is not connected to God.
Now that you know this, it should quicken you to go down on your knees and stretch out your drooping arms in more persistent prayer as you trust God to help you and your partner (Heb. 12:12). Also ask God for strength so you can defeat the real enemy (Eph. 6:10-11).
5. Prayer will help you stay calm and not fight back (Is. 53:7)
No one likes to be punched, whether on purpose or not. As someone who may already be accustomed to this through words, actions, or silent treatments directed at you by your partner, your every inclination will be to fight back and give him/her a taste of his/her own skin.
But in prayer, you will come to know God. You will get to learn from His nature and your desire to please Him will help you not to retaliate. Just like prayer helps you see the real enemy for who he is, prayer will grant you grace not to retaliate at your partner who seems to be the enemy. It will also give you strength to hold your tongue when the devil stirs up strife in your home (1 Pet. 3:9-10). It’s never easy, but that’s why it’s not by your power, but Christ’s (Zech. 4:6).
6. Prayer will help you take your eyes off yourself and focus it on your partner (Phil. 2:3)
It is so easy to think that you are the only one who is being cheated, hated on, or treated badly. Of course, it seems very obvious. However, as God opens the eyes of your heart in prayer, He will show you that the partner you think is evil, actually just needs help.
As you stay in Him, He will reveal ways by which you can give him/her this help. I remember in the movie, “War Room,” Elizabeth kept fighting her husband and was so drenched in his unfair treatment of her that she could not realize that all he needed was help. When she began to pray, however, God opened her eyes. He will do so with yours too. Amen!
7. Prayer will protect you and your spouse (Matt. 6:13)
We have already established that the real enemy here is not your spouse, and that is very true. Your “erring” partner may just be as concerned about your marriage as you are; just that he/she may lack the right ways to show it without looking vulnerable.
He/she may be out there, confused and lonely. And because the enemy loves to take advantage of every opportunity he gets, he (the devil) will send a ’comforter’ (1 Pet. 5:8). It could be a neighbor, colleague, friend, boss, or even an ex. But the intent behind it is to wreck your marriage. It may just be one little wrong advice or rash action prompted by “a moment’s weakness,” and your marriage that’s still struggling to stand topples over.
This is where your prayer comes in. Pray that though your spouse may not know God – or even if he/she does – but is lost and confused, God will protect and shield him/her from all evil. But don’t just pray for the protection of your partner. Pray for yours too as you are still human and have weaknesses as well. God will preserve you both (Ps. 12:7).
8. Prayer will pave the way for genuine forgiveness (Col. 3:13, Eph. 4:32)
Forgiveness is one thing we all struggle with, especially when we’ve been hurt over and over again. However, heartfelt prayer to God gives you the grace to forgive from the heart. Forget about masking up your feelings before God and pretending like nothing ever happened. Simply pour out your heart to Him and trust Him to help and heal you. When He has healed your heart, it will be easier for you to forgive, accept, and
work towards reconciliation with your partner. This is because you have tasted of God’s own forgiveness (2 Cor. 1:3-4).
Only God can grant you the grace to forgive. Do you know why? Because His bride at one time and in fact, on many occasions has made Him feel bitter and sad. He has even regretted creating her. Still, He chose to send His Son to die, so she can be forgiven and accepted by Him (Col. 2:13-14). As a child in His nature trusting Him in prayer, trust me when I say if you need to know how to forgive – no matter how hard it is – or you need forgiveness yourself, He will help you. He loves you and wants the best for you. That’s the truth.
9. Prayer will give you the strength to persevere (Jas. 1:2-4)
The Bible tells us to persevere under trial. As powerful as it sounds and as willing as we are to obey God’s command, staying firm under trial – not to mention with a smiley face – is something we can only rely on God’s help for. You might feel that you’re way better without it. And you may be correct. But remember that God trains, disciplines, and tests His children under trial (Heb. 12:6-7). Of course, this is not to say your failing marriage is God-ordained. Certainly not! But God can use it to teach you vital lessons and His nature through it. He does this for a reason.
When Paul asked for the thorn to be taken away from him, God did not immediately send some gardener to prune it off. Rather, He gave Him strength to endure it (2 Cor. 12:7-10). So, maybe all you need to do right now is to drench yourself in prayer. Yes, God may take away the pain immediately, or He will endue you with grace and strength to persevere until He makes a way. Just remember that it is all for your good. It will all work out for something glorious in the end (Rom. 8:28).
10. Prayer will lead you to the right people or resources that can help your marriage work
God says that He will tell us the way that we should walk in (Is. 30:21). When you pray, God will give you wisdom (Jas. 1:5-6). He will lead you to the right resources, people, or perhaps a local church that can help guide you through, encourage, and hold your hands as you navigate the storms of your failing relationship.
Not only will He do this, but He will not lead you “a-wrong.” You can trust that. Even as you listen to counsel, He will show you if what is said is what He wants for you. You know, prayer makes us more attuned to God’s voice. We get to discern His voice better. And when we do, we get to make better decisions pertaining to our relationships.
11. Prayer will change your situation
Ultimately, God has the power to miraculously change the conditions of your relationship through prayer. God is a good God (Ps. 73:1, 84:11). He does not intend for your relationships to thrive in chaos and end in shame. As you consistently cry out to Him in prayer, submitting to and surrendering your will to Him, He will show you what to do and also grant you help to do it. He will make a way!
We see God through prayer making rivers in the desert, footpaths in deadly seas, and setting laughter in place of sorrow on the faces of those who love Him (Is. 41:18-20, Ps. 105:41, Ex. 14:21-22, Gen. 21:6). My dear, nothing is impossible with God (not even what you’re facing now). Do not give up. Trust God with your life and let Him lead you even though you may not fully understand. Obey Him even when you feel that what He asks you to do is a bit “unfair” to you. In the end, you can be assured of something. And that is a great, successful, and impactful relationship that will be a model to others. Your story will reveal His glory. Yeah, He’s a miracle worker!
Finally, I want you to know that it is never too late for your marriage or relationship. I know you think so much time is past and you may be sick and tired already. But hey, hold still. God never despises those who cry out to Him from a true heart (Ps. 51:17). Just close your eyes at this moment and speak to Him. He’s right there with you.
I can’t wait to hear what God will do to restore your marriage through prayer. Till then, keep those knees bowed, arms raised and eyes looking up to Heaven. God bless you.
Written for Smartcouples.net © 2024. All rights reserved.
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