7 DANGERS OF ILLICIT BEHAVIOR BEFORE CHILDREN
Introduction
I watch my children as they grow and I can say that they learn mostly through what they see, what we do, and what outsiders do. Also, they learn from the cartoon movies they often watch. Most times we watch them act the role of some cartoon characters they admire so much. Children are highly impressionable, especially during their formative years, when they absorb behaviors, attitudes, and values from the adults around them.
When parents or guardians engage in illicit behavior in front of their children, the consequences can be devastating, affecting the child’s moral compass, spiritual development, and overall well-being. You are always surprised when you see little children curse others, or fight others either in school or the neighborhood. Some might not even know the meaning of the words they speak but they pick it up easily especially if they are words their parents often speak.
As Christians, we are called to set a godly example for our children, raising them in the ways of the Lord. The Bible says “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4). That Bible verse tells us how we can tenderly raise our children not necessarily when we become toxic will they turn out as good children, exhibiting the nature of Christ in their upbringing will help shape the lives of these children and will in turn make them glorious and exceptional children. Apart from these children acting like we did before them, there are several other dangers attached to exhibiting illicit behaviors before children.
Therefore, this article will explore seven dangers of illicit behavior before children and further discuss how this can be adjusted and corrected.
1. Moral Confusion and Compromise
2. Impaired Spiritual Development
3. Normalizing Sinful Behavior
4. Breaking Trust and Security
5. Emotional and Psychological Damage
6. Encouraging Rebellious and Destructive Behavior
7. Hindering God’s Plan for Their Lives
1. Moral Confusion and Compromise
Sometimes my children ask me, “Mummy, is it good for a man to use earrings?” Why are they asking? They want to know! They must have probably seen a man wear that in a movie or while taking them out somewhere. When children witness illicit behaviors such as dishonesty, immorality, or substance abuse, they become confused about what is right and wrong. The Bible says “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6).
Children learn by example, and if parents or caregivers are engaging in immoral acts, they risk confusing their children about what constitutes godly living. Moral confusion can lead to compromise, where children begin to rationalize sinful behaviors as acceptable because they have seen them modeled by their parents. This leads to a warped sense of right and wrong, which can affect the child’s decision-making process as they grow older. You will agree with me that these children are not only learning from you and me, but they also learn from strangers and that’s why it’s good to pay attention to whatever they want to say so that they can be corrected when they are wrong before it sinks into them.
2. Impaired Spiritual Development
My daughter after a trip once asked me who the Holy Spirit is, she said “Mummy, I usually hear you mention the Holy Spirit, who is the Holy Spirit?” On this day, I sat down and taught her all she needed to know about the Holy Spirit. After a week, she got back from school and told us that she led her group in school in a competition and she came first. We asked how and she said, “I called the Holy Spirit to help me and I did a sign of the cross on my head before answering the questions, and then I won!” Illicit behavior before children not only harms their moral understanding but also impairs their spiritual growth.
The Bible commands, “These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up” (Deuteronomy 6:6-7). A home that is filled with sinful practices and ungodly behavior cannot nurture a child’s spiritual development. Children are meant to grow in the knowledge of God, developing a personal relationship with Him through the example and teachings of their parents. Illicit behavior acts as a stumbling block to this process, making it difficult for children to differentiate between godliness and ungodliness. As a parent, stay mindful of this and constantly feed your children with the word of God instead.
3. Normalizing Sinful Behavior
If my children commit an offense and I fail to discipline them, if they repeat it another time, I admit it’s my fault. As a parent, we ensure to punish them when they are wrong and let them know what they have done. Another danger of illicit behavior before children is that it normalizes sin in their eyes. When children consistently see sinful actions—whether it’s lying, cheating, violence, or promiscuity—they begin to believe that such behavior is acceptable or even expected.
The Bible warns, “Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness” (Isaiah 5:20). Children are like sponges, absorbing the behaviors and attitudes of those around them. If parents do not model righteousness, they risk leading their children into a lifestyle where sin is normalized, creating a generational cycle of sinful living. This could have eternal consequences, as sin separates us from God (Isaiah 59:2). As a parent, correct them when wrong and let your lifestyle reflect what you teach as well.
4. Breaking Trust and Security
In the previous point, I said your lifestyle should reflect what you teach. This is because children rely on their parents for a sense of safety and trust. When they witness illicit behavior, such as lies, theft, or violence, it breaks that trust. Children need a stable and loving environment to thrive emotionally, and witnessing their parents engage in sinful or harmful actions can shatter their sense of security.
The Bible instructs parents to raise their children “in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). This involves not only teaching them godly principles but also creating an atmosphere of trust and stability. When trust is broken, children may become anxious, fearful, or resentful, and these emotions can carry over into adulthood, affecting their ability to form healthy relationships. If you are raising your children in a godly way, be careful to also exhibit the behaviors you’re inculcating in them.
5. Emotional and Psychological Damage
When you fail to raise your children appropriately, you open them up to an ungodly way/pattern of living. Illicit behavior can cause deep emotional and psychological wounds in children. For instance, children who witness substance abuse, domestic violence, or sexual immorality may experience feelings of fear, shame, or guilt. These emotional scars can last a lifetime, leading to issues such as anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. The Bible says “Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him” (Psalm 127:3).
As stewards of these precious souls, we as parents are called to protect our children from harm, both physical and emotional. Illicit behavior in the home, however, exposes children to unnecessary trauma that can hinder their emotional well-being and mental health. In extreme cases, children may even blame themselves for the illicit behaviors they witness, internalizing guilt that they should not carry. This can lead to feelings of unworthiness and insecurity that may affect every area of their life. Therefore, as a parent, look beyond the little effects but look deeply into how it can affect them psychologically.
6. Encouraging Rebellious and Destructive Behavior
Just like I said in the beginning, children often mimic the behaviors they see in us as parents, and when they are exposed to illicit actions, they may follow in those footsteps. Proverbs 13:20 warns, “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm” (Proverbs 13:20). If children are raised in an environment where illicit behavior is prevalent, they are more likely to adopt those same behaviors, leading to rebellious and destructive lifestyles.
For example, a child who grows up seeing substance abuse may be more likely to experiment with drugs or alcohol. Similarly, children who witness dishonesty may be more prone to lying or cheating. The Bible emphasizes the importance of raising children with godly principles so they can make wise decisions and avoid paths that lead to destruction. Therefore as parents, we are expected to create a godly environment around our children, know where they go, what they are exposed to, and the friends they walk with. It’s not wrong to choose friends for your children at the early stages of their lives. Being rebellious and being destructive in nature will make your children also grow to become the same.
7. Hindering God’s Plan for Their Lives
This is the greatest of all the dangers attached to exposing children to illicit acts. Of what use is life if purpose is unfulfilled? God has a purpose for every child, and as parents, it is our responsibility to guide them toward that purpose. The word of God says “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope” (Jeremiah 29:11). However, when children are exposed to illicit behavior, it can hinder God’s plan for their lives. Illicit behavior often leads children away from the path of righteousness, preventing them from discovering and fulfilling the purpose God has for them.
Whether it is through the normalization of sin, emotional damage, or impaired spiritual development, illicit actions create obstacles that can keep children from experiencing the fullness of God’s plan. As Parents, we have the divine calling to nurture our children’s faith and guide them in the ways of the Lord. When we fail in this duty by engaging in sinful behavior, we are not only jeopardizing our own spiritual lives but also putting our children’s futures at risk.
In conclusion, Illicit behavior in the presence of children carries serious consequences that can affect their moral development, emotional well-being, and spiritual growth. As Christian parents, we must set a godly example and protect our children from the damaging effects of sinful behavior. By repenting, living a Christ-centered life, and nurturing our children in the ways of the Lord, we can raise a generation that honors God and follows His plan for their lives.
Let us remember the words of Jesus “If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.” As stewards of the next generation, may we live in a way that leads our children toward righteousness and away from the dangers of sin. I leave you to the hands of God to help and guide you on how to raise your children in a way pleasing and acceptable to God, in Jesus’ name. We will not fail in this assignment. Amen.
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