How To Grow Spiritually With Your Spouse
The way we perceive God in our relationship differs from one couple to the other, and also matters in how we deal with the issues of life generally. Our perception of God is one thing that must not remain the same after we marry. It must evolve as we grow together with our loved ones.
Couples who grow in their walk with the Lord also grow in their relationships with one another. Spiritual growth will always enable us to mature in our relationships with our loved ones.
This article intends to lay down some tested and workable ideas on how to grow spiritually with your spouse as you confront the issues of life generally.
There’s a difference in engagement between spiritual walk and other walks of life. And the difference is quite profound. Whereas in the other walks of life we can partially or fully depend on others, we just can’t do so spiritually.
Couples can partially or fully depend on each other in almost every aspect of life but the spiritual. One partner can be rich and marries another who’s poor and both of them become extremely rich. One can be educated upon whom the other depends on understanding and both of them do great exploits.
Spiritual Growth Is Not Transferable
You can rely on your partner for every other thing but the spiritual. When it comes to the spiritual, your personal relationship with God counts because it’s a personal thing. It’s an individual experience. You do not get to heaven on your spouse’s back. You don’t go to Church on behalf of your spouse. You go on your own behalf. The fact that you go to church doesn’t make you a believer in God. The fact that your wife or husband is a believer in God doesn’t make you a believer necessarily. You are a believer of God because you personally have accepted Him and walk with him. It’s because you believed and not someone else.
In the spiritual, what is yours is yours. It’s not transferable. You can influence others, including your spouse, but you cannot believe on their behalf. There’s no such thing as, “ I believe on behalf of my children or wife or husband”. No, you only believe for yourself, but can pray that they too would one day believe what you know is true.
If you are a couple or an aspiring one, ‘How To grow spiritually with your spouse’ was written for you and would teach you the steps in fellowship with God which you can create and imbibe in your households that would help you do four things: a) evolve as a spirit being, b) increase in your knowledge of the lord, c) walk in fellowship with God, and d) strengthens your relationship with your spouse.
Now, the first step to take to grow spiritually with your spouse is that Couples Should Go To The Same Living Church Together.
A Church is principally a body of believers of Christ Jesus 1 Corinthians 12:27, and also a place where people gather to worship the Lord. Going to Church is a good thing for every believer in Jesus Christ. The Bible says to come together frequently (Hebrews 10:25). But this is not just about going to Church but going to a living Church, a Church that teaches the very words of God and practices the very words it teaches. But above all, going there must be TOGETHER with your spouse. Not one going and leaving the other behind.
This is where many couples fail it. They either do not go to Church at all or together for one reason or the other. There are many advantages for a couple to grow together in one church of their choice. These are as follows:
1. It has a constant location. You couples would have to see the Church building every time, every day because it’s planted in a single location geographically. It’s unlike any other conference that can take place within a rented space and after the conference is over, it’s over. No, the Church is always there to welcome you couples.
2. It makes it easier for God to minister to couples’ immediate needs. Imagine a couple fighting over their finances and decide to go to two different churches on Sunday. On the one hand, the pastor at Church A teaches about how to manage finances in godliness. And on the other hand, the pastor at Church B teaches about avoiding child labor in the family of Christians.
You see, although Church B wasn’t bad, it would have benefited their immediate financial crisis if both partners were at Church A. God could have solved their problem through their new understanding of finances from the pastor’s teaching. Couples should attend church services together for the good of the relationship.
3. It’s a place of multiple training. The Church trains people on spiritual matters and matters pertaining to life generally. You can imbibe good moral values with Church training, and only if you go as a couple can that benefit the home. How awesome is it for the husband to know what the wife knows? Wow!
4. It’s a place of social identity. The Church is a social arena where social identity is shaped and cultured. You get to meet people and get to know them. You see how people behave and can establish a good relationship with them that would impact your spiritual life as couples.
5. It’s a place of talent development. Couples can discover and develop their talents in the Church as they participate together with the children. Many found out that they were singers, songwriters, musicians, artists, and great speakers just by participating in the programs of the Church community all for free. The legendary Aretha Franklin, Whitney Houston, Kirk Franklin, and countless others all have their early moments at the church where they discovered and developed their talents. They did so because their parents were constant Churchgoers.
Get involved in a Church together as couples not separately. Your wife cannot go for the husband and vice versa. Both should go for themselves. It helps them grow spiritually.
The second step to take to grow spiritually with your spouse is that Couples Should Together Decide On Which Church To Attend As A Couple.
If two of you are divided over which Church to go, the two of you should talk it out together. It doesn’t have to be a fight issue. It’s possible that you marry someone from a different church, say a Catholic marries a Pentecostal or Baptist. Neither of them is coerced to join the other but one of them can be convinced and willingly joins the other’s Church as a member. But this must be voluntarily done, not a fight.
The spiritual growth of couples is a matter of volition. You have to be willing to learn and grow as you walk with God. And willingness comes when it’s a decision made without threats, fears or force. It’s always a good thing for both couples to aspire being members of one Church community. It helps them grow spiritually together.
Have you had issues with your spouse going to Church together?
Watch out for the next part of this article, or click here.
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