10 Effective Ways to Strengthen Your Marriage and Avoid Divorce
Marriage is a lifelong commitment that requires continuous effort and attention from both partners and it comes with its challenges. In society today, marriages have become the opposite of what it’s known for. Generally, it’s believed that marriage is meant to be a lifetime journey for couples but the reverse is the case today. People marry for diverse reasons and are ready and willing to run out if it’s not working as planned.
A few years back, I watched a couple go through a divorce over something that could have been sorted out without even the help of a counselor and then I vowed to myself, come what may, my marriage will work. It’s been 6 years in my marriage now, I can not say it’s a bed of roses, however, I am glad I took this step. Recognizing that marriage comes with diverse challenges will help couples join hands together to ensure their marriage works. A good home doesn’t only answer wishes but is built through God and intentional couples.
No marriage is perfect! Even no human is perfect. Marriage brings two imperfect individuals together, therefore, their imperfections will come into play in that home but their ability to strike a balance will greatly affect their home. While no relationship is perfect, couples can take proactive steps to nurture their bond and avoid divorce.
Therefore, this article will consider ten effective ways to strengthen your marriage and avoid divorce.
1. Communicate Openly and Honestly
2. Resolve Conflicts in a Healthy Manner
3. Make Time for Each Other
4. Keep Your Relationship Balanced
5. Cultivate Trust and Transparency
6. Stay Intimate
7. Play Together and Incorporate Faith
8. Support Each Other’s Goals and Ambition
9. Invest in Professional Help When Needed
10. Forgive and Move Forward
1. Communicate Openly and Honestly
Someone once asked if communication enhances the bond between a man and a woman, then I told the person, if you love someone a lot, what will happen if you fail to communicate with the person for months? The answer is the same, your affection gradually reduces! Good communication is the foundation of a strong marriage. Both partners should feel free to express their thoughts, feelings, and concerns without fear of judgment. Practice active listening—truly hearing your spouse and responding with empathy helps avoid misunderstandings.
Also, Set aside time daily to check in with each other and discuss how you’re feeling or what’s on your mind. In some homes, couples find their cell phones a great companion compared to their spouses. The woman is either chatting with another while the man may be keeping track of the latest news or football matches. How then will you bond in such situations? Put aside that barrier and have a heart-to-heart talk with your spouse. Put aside every distraction and create a day with which you both communicate in truth and in love (Ephesians 4:15).
2. Resolve Conflicts in a Healthy Manner
In the early years of my marriage, my husband and I usually laugh after we have misunderstood each other. How then did we realize it was a misunderstanding? We sat each other down to resolve issues and in the course of doing that, we usually realized we didn’t understand each other at the beginning. This became a part of us to the point that presently, we rarely argue over anything but calmly look into it to avoid conflict. This might seem impossible but when you understand your spouse, the rate at which you fight automatically reduces.
This just means one of you will have to be extremely tolerant. Conflict is inevitable in any marriage, but how you handle it makes a difference. Instead of arguing, work together to resolve disagreements constructively. Focus on the issue, not personal attacks. Stay calm and be open to compromise. Take a break if emotions run high and revisit the issue once both of you are calm and this is just a simple trick we imbibe in our marriage, over and over. Also, be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger (James 1:19).
3. Make Time for Each Other
This is very important in every relationship. Marriage is between two mature individuals and not a single person. How then do you create time together and also ensure you both are in touch while running here and there in search of daily bread? In the hustle of life, it’s easy to neglect your spouse and much more easy to fall victim to circumstances while at it, divorce is easier. However, prioritizing quality time together is essential for maintaining a very strong connection. Whether it’s date nights, shared hobbies, or simply spending time talking, making time for each other keeps the romance alive. Schedule regular “us” time on your calendar to ensure you’re always making your relationship a priority. Get used to this lifestyle as this will help you both have a sense of togetherness knowing fully well that two is better than one (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10).
4. Keep Your Relationship Balanced
Several women complain of always multitasking in their homes. Women can indeed multitask but it becomes disturbing when they don’t get assisted by their partners especially when children are already in the picture. Marriage works best when both partners contribute equally. There should be a balance in handling responsibilities, both inside and outside the home. Avoid placing all the pressure on one partner and make sure you support each other in all aspects. Regularly check in with each other about household tasks, parenting duties, or finances to ensure things are evenly distributed. This will help you both find it easy to go through the pressures that come with joy by submitting to one another in love and action ( Ephesians 5:21).
5. Cultivate Trust and Transparency
Lack of trust works very fast like a bulldozer does. It can pull down a house in a few minutes but can not build it in a minute. Trust is the bedrock of any successful marriage. Any marriage lacking trust may easily dissolve and if it doesn’t, it will be void of peace and couples may be living like strangers. Be transparent with your spouse about your thoughts, actions, and feelings. If trust is broken, it can be difficult to restore, so avoid situations that might jeopardize the faith your partner has in you. Always be accountable for your actions, and discuss anything that could affect your marriage honestly. Never lie to your spouse but be honest towards each other (Proverbs 12:22).
6. Stay Intimate
It will amaze you to know that lack of intimacy in marriage takes a large percentage when it comes to marital issues. Someone once said that the role of sex in marriage can not be overlooked and if not because of sex, some marital issues may not get resolved. As amazing as this sounds, we can not deny the bond that Physical intimacy establishes in marriage. Physical intimacy is an essential component of marriage. While intimacy changes over time, it’s vital to keep physical closeness a priority. Whether through affection, touch, or romantic gestures, staying intimate establishes a deeper connection. Don’t be afraid to express your physical needs to each other, and be receptive to your partner’s needs as well. Denying your partner access to your body may result in conflicts and may tamper with your marriage and the word of God speaks against it (1 Corinthians 7:3-4).
7. Pray Together and Incorporate Faith
The potency of power can not be overlooked and it’s true when you hear that couples that pray together stick together. For couples who share a religious belief, prayer can be a powerful tool in maintaining a strong marriage. Faith in God helps you both go through challenges with a positive mindset, keeps hope alive, and gives a sense of unity in purpose. Praying together also improves your emotional and spiritual intimacy. Make time to pray together regularly and lean on your faith during times of difficulty. When prayer becomes difficult in your home, be sensitive because the devil is usually comfortable in such homes. Keep the fire on your family altar burning and constantly give yourself to other spiritual exercises that will help your home because if two people agree on a thing, it shall be done unto them says the word of the Lord (Matthew 18:19).
8. Support Each Other’s Goals and Ambitions
As a couple, your partner’s ambition and goals automatically become yours. Align your goals as one and you both should feel encouraged to pursue your personal goals and aspirations. Be your spouse’s biggest cheerleader and offer support in whatever way possible. This gives a sense of growth within the relationship, making it stronger over time. Regularly discuss your goals and dreams, and find ways to support each other in achieving them. Most marriages that fail today also fail due to the self-centered nature of either of the couples. Be mindful of any goal you want to achieve, check if it will affect your marriage before you take the step, and also check if your spouse is in support of it. If it’s a goal you’re dying to achieve, help your partner see what you’re seeing and communicate it humbly and in an honorable way (Romans 12:10).
9. Invest in Professional Help When Needed
Like I said in the beginning, marriage comes with its challenges and if properly managed, will result in divorce. If you’re facing persistent issues that you can’t resolve on your own, it’s essential to seek professional help, such as couples counseling. Getting an outside perspective from a licensed therapist can be a game-changer in how you manage your marital challenges. Don’t wait until problems escalate—investing in counseling early can prevent bigger issues from developing. Therefore, address your issues before they escalate and go beyond your control with the help of marriage counselors. The Bible tells us to listen to advice and accept discipline and at the end, we will be counted among the wise (Proverbs 19:20).
10. Forgive and Move Forward
Unforgiveness in marriage will only lead to more and more conflicts and can easily dissolve your marriage. No one is perfect, and mistakes will happen. Learning to forgive and let go of past hurts is vital for any couple who wants their marriage to thrive. Holding onto grudges or resentment only builds tension and creates emotional distance. Practice forgiveness and focus on building a future together, rather than dwelling on past mistakes. This will help you both overlook the past and focus more on the future and God’s plan for your home. The word of God also instructs us to forgive as the Lord forgave us (Colossians 3:13).
Conclusion
Marriage takes effort and hard work but with intentional care, love, and commitment, you both can avoid the path to divorce and build a healthy and lasting relationship. By focusing on communication, trust, intimacy, and mutual support, you can strengthen your bond and create a relationship that stands the test of time. As you follow these effective ways listed above, I see God helping you and I see your home thriving, in Jesus’ name. Amen.
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