10 Practical Ways To Save A Failed Marriage
Marriage was instituted by God, for God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him” (Genesis 2:18). And he who finds a wife findeth a good thing and obtaineth favor from God (Proverbs 18:22). Every marriage has its ups and downs. Couples should not feel hopeless when their marriage seems to have failed, rather rediscover the good relationship they had in the beginning. The only thing they need to do is put in some work. To help you accomplish that, consider some of the 10 practical ways to save a failed marriage and do what you must do to see your relationship back to life. These practical ways are as follows:
1. Be Prayerful
2. Identify their problems
3. Hire a counselor
4. Take responsibility for their actions
5. Forgive Quickly
6. Commit to their relationship
7. Maintain a healthy communication
8. Spend quality time together
9. Take away pride
10. Take away selfishness
Let’s take a quick look at each point listed above.
1. Be Prayerful
Couples should always pray for each other because there are so many forces competing for their partner’s attention. Couples should devote their lives to God and dedicate their marriage to Him. Pour your heart out to God in prayers because he is the only one that is able to fix marriages. Pray to God to help you and heal your marriage for he alone knows what the marriage needs to succeed. Even as you pray, also trust him and be patient as he heals your marriage (Proverbs 3: 5-6).
2. Identify The Problems
One of the ways to save a failed marital relationship is to get to the root of the problem first. Couples need to look at their attitudes and behaviors and check how they might have contributed to the state of their marital relationship. What is pushing their marriage to the edge? For example, is it keeping late nights, drinking, bad friends, adultery, poor sexual life, smoking, or other things? They can be asked to make a list of things they feel need to be changed in other for their failed marital relationship to work again. Then come up with a solution together.
3. Hire A Counselor
A counselor who specializes in relationships can equally provide guidance for your healing. Many would not want to see a marriage counselor because they think it’s a display of weakness. But in an actual sense, it shows strength. It helps a lot in marriage, as a career needs a counselor so marriage also needs a professional adviser especially if it’s not actually working well. Meet with the counselor regularly and do the assignments asked for. Hebrews 10:24 says that let us consider and give attentive, continuous care to watching over one another, studying how we may stir up (stimulate and incite) to love and helpful deeds and noble activities,
4. Take Responsibility For Their Actions
Now that the partners know what they did to contribute to their failed marital relationship, they should own up to them. Do this wholeheartedly by removing pride. It is very important that partners take full responsibility for their behavior or wrong they did to their partners. Partners should as a matter of fact avoid being defensive. They should own it in a loving way to create space to start rebuilding trust. Ask yourself this question “Are there things I suppose to do that I’m failing to do? Am I setting my partner up for success? The answer to these questions will help you a lot.
5. Forgive Quickly
Marriages often tend to fall apart when one partner is holding a grudge against the other. Try to forgive your spouse as quickly as possible, “Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man has a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye” (Colossians 3:13). And also, if you have wronged your partner, apologize with a sincere heart. It goes a long way in healing a broken heart. Be committed to their relationship.
6. Commit To Their Relationship
Marriage is like a plant, it won’t grow nor survive without watering it or proper sunshine. Put your energy and time into your marital relationship just as you did during the time of dating. Put each of your resources into saving your marital relationship. Get both your head and your heart in the frame of mind that says you can do this and rebuild the love again.
7. Maintain A Healthy Communication
Effective communication is the key to a healthy relationship. Think about when the relationship was still thriving and how best you communicated. Having healthy communication also helps in saving a failed marital relationship. While having a talk, try to give each other space and time to make their points without interruptions (James 1:19). Also, try avoiding languages filled with defensive, argumentative, and hurtful comments, and pay attention to your tone. Don’t forget to say “please” and “thank you” to each other. It goes a long way in rebuilding your trust in each other.
8. Spend Quality Time Together
How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity (Psalm 133:1). Couples should have time for each other. It’s not wrong to go on a date with each other even after marriage. Have fun together, stroll together, have a walk, gist, laugh, and even cook together. Do things to make each other feel special again. By so doing, it helps to bring back their love, bond, and intimacy which was lost. This is one of the 10 practical ways to save a failed marriage.
9. Take Away Pride
God hates pride, according to Proverbs 16:18, Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall. Couples are meant to understand that they are supposed to be partners and not competitors. The success of their marriage depends on how they express their disagreements. For instance, instead of saying “No” I can’t do this, there’s no time, try saying I’m sorry dear, I would have loved to do this but there’s no time. By so doing your partner will reason with you and the matter would be settled. Exchanges need to be healthy, respectful, and calm without pride.
10. Take Away Selfishness
Relationships require compromise. Once you’re married, you ought to think selflessly. You can’t always put your needs first rather you should put your partner’s needs at least before or equal to your needs for your relationship to work. Ephesians 5: 33 said, “however each one of you must love his wife as he loves himself”. Again why use the word “I” when you’re two? Why not use “We”? Always try to make your partner part of you (Matt 19: 6).
Finally, brethren, farewell (rejoice)! Be strengthened (perfected, completed, made what you ought to be); be encouraged and consoled and comforted; be of the same agreeable mind one with another; live in peace, and then the God of love, Who is the Source of affection, goodwill, love, and benevolence toward men, and the Author and Promoter of peace will be with you (2 Corinthians 13: 11).
I hope with these 10 practical ways to save a failed marriage, I was able to convince and motivate you to go all out to save your relationship. Tell me, did you enjoy the read?
Written for smartcouples.net © 2022