4 Characteristics Of Best Friend Marriage
It’s always good to be friends with your future partner before venturing into marriage. Good friends kept or maintained might become best friends. I want to help you by showing you some 4 characteristics of best friend marriage for you to see what makes them really survive that long so that you can improve your relationship with what you imbibed from these characteristics.
The Word Misused
We sometimes misuse the word best friend. Just because someone is with you for a period of time doesn’t make him or her your best friend. Or because you see someone very often or even do certain goofy things with someone, still doesn’t make that person your best friend. Best friend goes deeper than that. Some people even refer to a lot of people as their best friends. I wonder what they are trying to say! Your best friend should be just one person and not more. The rest could be your friends, or colleagues, maybe.
It’s better to have one friend worth a million-dollar than to have a million friends worth a penny each. The Bible says that One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24). The friend who sticks closer than a blood relative is a best friend. Such a friend isn’t easy to come by and is worth keeping when found.
Time Invested In
The relationship of a best friend is cultivated with time which may vary from one relationship to the other. Best friends are those who have invested much in their relationship. They are the kind of people to get married to if you ever have the opportunity. Best friend marriages are a gold mine. They truly last for a long time. Let’s start with the first of the 4 characteristics of best friend marriage.
1) Best Friends Don’t Fall Out At Difficult Times
In marriage, it’s possible that couples find some situations difficult than others. In every marriage, there are good and bad moments. That’s natural. But the way couples handle such difficult moments can make the difference between success and failure in a relationship. While some couples might be broken by a hellish situation, the same situation might make other couples grow stronger. While a misunderstanding can bring about divorce in the union of a couple, that same situation can bring about a stronger bonding for another couple.
Not Easily Broken
Best friend couples aren’t easily broken. That’s why it’s important to be in love with your best friend before marriage. It helps prevent a lot of unforeseen crises in relationships. Best friends do not fall out when the going is tough. They stick together, become even closer, and are stronger together in seeking a solution. If you are in crisis and your partner leaves you, that partner was never a best friend to start with. A Best friend doesn’t desert in times of difficulty, they stay loyal. Of what need are best friends if you couldn’t find them when you need them most?
2) Best Friends Are There For Each Other
When a relationship hits the rock, what you need at that moment the most is someone like a best friend who can listen to you, comfort you, suggest ideas, and help you seek solutions. Marriages that have their partners as their best friends are very lucky because they always stick around each other and are there for each other. Yes, you can count on them. Best friends are solution donors and are ardent companions in whatever situations–good or bad– that the marriage might be facing.
The Wise Lady
A story is told of a wife who usually said to her husband, “And what do you say?” whenever they were in crisis. She was a very brilliant lady who counseled and comforted her husband and after the counseling session, she would kindly ask the husband’s opinion concerning the situation in question by saying, “And what do you say?” And guess what? The husband would reply, “Let’s do as you suggested.” Isn’t she a wise lady? You see, best friends are there for each other always and help each other find solutions to the problems. They aren’t the problem but the solution donor.
3) Best Friends Do Not Criticize Each Other
The third of the 4 characteristics of best friend marriages is that of criticism. And I agree that there’s a place for constructive criticism in a relationship.
One thing that I have noticed from my many years of counseling couples from various cultural backgrounds is the fact that some couples just didn’t criticize themselves while trying to explain what went wrong in their relationship. While some others did, some didn’t. Even of those who criticized their partners, they did so openly, at times, before my face privately, and at times, in the public.
But some unique ones that I noticed would never mention a negative word against their partners even after hours of talking. When both were together seeking a solution, they were both helpful to themselves. No one pointed fingers at the other and no one accused the other. When I found out why, I realized that this set of couples were best of friends before they got married.
Objectivity Is Great
The truth is best friends aren’t those who have no issues but those who may have issues but don’t choose to criticize each other. They are very objective and see the problem in a positive light as being avoidable and solvable. In addition, the partner that felt guilty always quietly accepted a fault that was his or hers without being coerced in any way.
The guilt was never brought to his or her attention. But because of the supportive best friend lover’s objective position and the willingness to seek a solution rather than point fingers, they were able to diagnose the problem free from prejudice and saw where they got it wrong. Best friends support rather than criticize each other.
4) Best Friends Are Honest To Each Other
Best friend marriages are reality marriages because they are very honest marriages. Honesty is a strong value that strengthens a relationship. And it’s very easy for best friend couples to be honest to each other in their marriages. They are not trying to hide something from the other or tell lies to each other or fake a lifestyle to deceive that other. Nope!
Are you honest in your relationship? Do you find it easy to be honest with the one you love or not? Are you pressured to tell lies in order to make your partner happy or feel good? Do you feel that if you tell the truth your relationship will crash? If your first two answers are “NO,” you have a relationship issue and must work on it. And if the last two answers are YES, you also have an issue in your relationship with your partner which needs to be sorted out. Don’t ignore them. Work on them.
Remain True To Self
Be honest to yourself so as to be honest to your partner. Best friend partners are there for each other to support each other. So why the lies? Why the deception? Because we aren’t best of friends yet in marriage. And there are many marriages like that. But the one that you can possibly trust in all honesty is not just called your partner, but your best friend partner.
In conclusion, we’ve considered the 4 characteristics of best friend marriage which are that Best Friends Are There For Each Other. Best Friends Do Not Criticize Each Other. Best Friends Are Honest To Each Other. And Best Friends Do Not Fall Out At Difficult Times. Is your relationship like a best friend relationship? Or are you aspiring to have one? Tell us in the comment box below?