The 7 Things That Can Steal The Peace From A Love Relationship – Relationship And Counseling
When you take a closer look at a relationship that’s falling apart, you would find out that there was once a time, a moment where the peace within it was threatened or the peace was slowly giving way to disputation, quarrels, disagreements, and various hostilities. Any marital conflict has such a moment as well as any divorce that you may talk of.
There was once a time the peace within the relationship started suffering a loss. That time could not just be a day or an hour but a period, lengthy or not, when the couple began feeling the discomfort of what, supposedly, should be their zone of comfort. It could also be an event or a series of events or a process by which the peace of a relationship can be stolen. Whatever the situation, we want to highlight some causes which we’ve titled the 7 things that can steal the peace from a love relationship.
It’s a thing of joy that the man and woman leave their father’s house to form their own home. I mean, it’s so joyful that the Lord said let no man put asunder to such union (Mark 10:9; Matthew 19:6). But ‘asunder’ is inevitable when peace is threatened and/or stolen from a relationship.
Our purpose is to create that marital vigilance for couples to wake up when such begins to happen, and do something about it to avert its progressive consequences. That being said, the first thing that can steal the peace from a love relationship is:
1. The Act Of Sex Starving Your Partner
To sex-starve, your partner is to deprive a partner of coital intimacy. Doing it can steal marital peace as it brings misunderstanding in the relationship. It could cause a lot of issues in the relationship and even put an end to it.
Although marriage is not all about Sex in a relationship, it’s important and belongs to both married couples. Such intimacy belongs to the husband and wife. Not one without the other. It is wrong for one to deprive the other of intercourse. The Bible doesn’t teach that. It rather says the bodies of couples belong to each other and that anything that would stop them from meeting should come out of mutual understanding.
“But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband.
“In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control” (1 Corinthians 7:4-6 ).
So, if one party does not want to have sex, he or she should communicate it with the other partner for understanding and peace rather than misunderstanding and war. In no case should it be a source of punishment or statement-making. That is wrong and misleading. It only brings to the relationship more problems like internal strife, cheating, adultery, disrespect, and many more conflicts, all of which can steal the peace from the union.
2. The Loss Of Desire For Intimacy
Some couples have a zero libido drive and have totally lost the desire, interest, and yen for sex. They don’t hanker for sex anymore and can go for years without it. This can irritate their partners and push them into sin for sexual relief outside of the home. Issues like this are commonplace with some women as well as men in the family and can linger longer than expected.
In women, it could be hormonal changes, medication, relational and stress issues and a lot more. If you find yourself in such a situation, see a medical doctor. It’s a medical problem that needs medical attention. And without resolving it medically, It can ruin the peace of your family, especially the family of young couples, and cause conflicts in the relationship. A case like this must be talked over by the couples for understanding and support,
3. The Act Of Infidelity
Infidelity in a relationship is a state of being unfaithful to a spouse or other sexual partner. When you do have carnal knowledge with someone other than your spouse or lover.
You all know that your spouse belongs to you, don’t you? And everyone wants a home with someone to call mine. Well, you know that if another person invaded your home, it doesn’t leave behind a nice feeling, does it? It breeds hate, resentments, bitterness, revenge and a series of other negative vibes which only decrease the love in that relationship. That’s what Infidelity does to couples. It’s a great stealer of peace from relationships. It’s known as a great source of misunderstanding and conflicts in a relationship. Conflicts from Infidelity are quite prolonged, and hard to forgive at times.
Be faithful with the love of your life to protect the peace within your home and avoid the conflicts which such abuse brings to your home.
4. The Act Of Recalling The Past
When you frequently recall the past wrongs at any given instance, you are hurting the peace within that union. When you recall what had happened in the past to make a point in the present, it can steal the peace and joy of the relationship.
There are some couples who can’t forgive and forget. When you forgive someone, you must forget to talk about it although it is in your memory. When at any slightest mistake you refer to the past mistakes that, supposedly, should have been forgiven and forgotten, your marital peace can be threatened and stolen from that relationship.
In some homes, the things that happened over a decade could still be spoken of in their small disputes. Others who come around can even know what happened with your relationship years ago just by listening to any trivial issues at home. This does great harm to a relationship than strengthens its bond. It steals peace and breeds conflict more often than not.
5. Poor Communication Between Couples
Some couples don’t understand the communication skills of relationships. They just don’t get it at all. The way they talk to their spouses and relate to them, you would know there’s an issue here. Your spouse is not just anybody. Let’s start from there. The perception of your spouse does a great deal of determining how you relate and communicate with them. When your spouse becomes just anybody, there’s a problem with the perception which must be corrected. Poor communication between couples is one of the 7 things that can steal the peace from a love relationship.
6. No Financial Resource For Couples
Some couples find this really troublesome to coexist in peace when there’s no financial support from any of them to sustain the relationship. Everyone needs financial support to live life basically. For couples, it is a must that a source for such support is guaranteed. Whether from the husband or the wife. There must be a way they pay their bills if they are not on social security.
Traditionally speaking, the husband is expected to map out a way to start earning an income to support his family. But times have changed that most women are now the breadwinners and that’s fine. Just that you don’t find fault in providing for your home.
In some homes, when there’s no source of income, the problem keeps increasing. In others, when the husband, in particular, has no job or source of finance, even while the wife has sufficient sources to fund the bills, there are always issues at home. To these wives, the men are to run the family irrespective of what the women do to get money. If the men don’t provide, there will be fire on the mountain and peace will never reign in the family.
Our advice to women who have the means to sustain the family is to support it fully respecting your husband. The family is your family. If the husband does not have and you do have, it all belongs to the family for the good of the family, which is your family.
Be the boss lady with your feminine crown on. Don’t be the man just because you provide for your family. That’s where some ladies don’t get it right. They don’t understand how to be the boss and maintain their femininity.
Some of the females as they become the boss, switch to the male gender role and disrespect their husbands. Providing for your home does not make you a man, ladies. You are still the woman boss. Be the queen with your crown on. There’s nothing as beautiful as a boss lady who uses her crown well to maintain marital peace. Don’t kill the peace within your home because you’re the provider.
7. When Couples Grow Apart
When couples distance themselves from each other and grow apart in the process, their peace can be threatened. It’s very likely that when couples have little issues, they turn to distant themselves from each other. It starts slowly but surely widens apart. The result is that they grow apart from each other and do not do things that they used to do together. This attitude only steals the peace and prolong relationship issues and goals. Avoid giving too much gap between your spouse and you, even if there are persistent issues. And do fun things together even at times of crisis.
If you’re sleeping together always, don’t stop doing so because you’re hurting. That childish attitude never solves a problem. It only accentuates one. And if you guys are eating breakfast, lunch or dinner together, keep with that pattern. Do not change it even at crisis time. Eat with your spouse, do fun things together, provide a good atmosphere for reconciliation, compassion, and understanding. Starve resentment, hate and unforgiveness and let peace reign in your union.
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