Why Do Some Men Never Get Married? – Marriage And Relationship
We started the series on why some men never get married and gave some reasons men refuse to marry in our previous post which you can find by clicking here. Today, we shall continue exploring the subject seriatim, in order to help some men get it right in marriage as they see what might be a reflection of their very lives or experiences they have been through. In addition, it would help adolescent boys, and young adults understand what is right and normal and what isn’t, even though it exists. That being said, let’s consider some factors why some men never get married.
1. Because They Are Gay Men
Some men refuse to marry women because they are the types that prefer male gender for sexual and amorous relationships. These men are guys and are attracted to men rather than women. They won’t settle down with a female partner or start any romantic relationship with people of the opposite sex. A gay refuses marriage traditionally because he sees less importance of it and he isn’t even attracted to the opposite sex.
This is unnatural as the Bible tells us. It’s not the way it was from creation. God created man and female to multiply and fill the earth (Genesis 1:26-28 ). It would be unnatural if any form of marriage can’t procreate on its own. But the situation is redeemable. Hope isn’t lost. A gay can change his mind and get married traditionally if he likes to. And God can help bring about such change.
2. Because They Are From Homes Without The Mom’s Presence
The absence of a mom may have an impact on the male child. Male children from homes without their moms are boys of single father parenting. The absence of the mom could be a result of a divorce, death, or no mom at all, in which case the father and mom aren’t together for other reasons than the ones we mentioned above.
Maybe the mom gave birth and ran away abandoning the child. Maybe the child barely survived an abortion somehow. Maybe the child was from another girl-child who wasn’t mature enough to become a mother. Maybe the child was a fostered child or adopted by dad alone etc.
This point might sound funny to some people but the truth is that some men grew up in a home without both parents living together. And they struggled with just one parent. At times, they divide their time between visiting one parent today and the other the next moment. Or they would be so used to dad’s support alone.
The cumulative disadvantage is that they wouldn’t see the sweetness, the comfort, the true benefits for having mom and dad together and their conclusion later in life is to be like the dad who lived alone and perhaps had to visit mom or other women from time to time. These grown-up men will replicate what they experienced as young boys in their adult relationships. In other words, they will not see the need to marry and have wives staying together at home because they never saw dad do that. Furthermore, they can have children out of wedlock and that’s okay with them.
3. Because They Don’t Socialize
This is as simple as it is. When you don’t socialize, you don’t get to meet people and/or exchange pleasantries with people who try to reach out to you whether physically or digitally. Your future or potential wife is and will be a product of socialization somehow. There would be that one moment in history that brought two of you together. I mean that unique hour or day you meet the one you will live with as a wife. But if you have the habit of staying alone in your own cocoon, you probably won’t see that precious person and thus won’t get married any time soon. Some men blatantly don’t get married because they loathe or abhor socializing.
4. Because Of The Wrong Example Of Some Married Men
When young men grow up to see married men who are older and have wives at home go after younger ladies for casual relationships, it makes them feel discouraged as if marriage just doesn’t work or bring joy to the men. Why would a man marry and be cheating now and then with different ladies? If he loves cheating with these women so much, why did he settle for a woman with whom he finds no joy and fulfillment? It stands to reason for a young man not to marry if he grew up seeing married men still doing what they used to do when they were single. Consequently, they would choose to be single and go after ladies rather than being married and still go after them.
5. Because They Are Eunuchs
The Bible lets us know that eunuchs can exist as a result of the choice of the individuals (Matthew 19 vs 8-12). These are not celibates but eunuchs. A celibate can decide to marry one day if he changes his mind, but a eunuch would need more than just a decision to procreate even if he forces himself to marry. Eunuchs are those who have been castrated, having taken off their testicles, and as such, inhibiting the production of testosterone, a hormone responsible for sexual drives, libidos, and penile erection. The eunuchs, being castrated, don’t have the need for sex at all. If they don’t need sex, wife and children aren’t their things. Hence, no marriage or family. They could be friends with women but they refuse and can’t handle the idea of marriage.
6. Because They Are Celibates Consecrated For Godly Service
Some men are celibates because they vowed to stay out of marriage and sexual relationships. But have chosen to serve God, whether in Church ministries or other religious Vocation-focused activities. These men are not necessarily eunuchs and are consecrated for the service of the Lord alone. Having sexual relationships with women, taking wives and having children are none of their goals in life. This includes People like priests, bishops, archbishops, cardinals, popes and some monks at the monasteries.
These are not all the reasons but some that help answer why some men never get married, as far as marriage and relationships are concerned. Please, before I sign out, watch out for the continuation of the series in our next posts. And tell us below which factor(s) is/are common in your region or part of the world? Thank you for reading.
Click here for the first part of the series.
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Hello Paul, we understand your stance on this, and your views are of the majority, truth be told. However, marriage works. God knew what He was doing when He said, a man shall leave his father’s house and join to his wife. God knew what it was all about when He said, the two shall become one ( Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:5, Mark 10:8, Ephesians 5:31 ). Maybe you need to hear more of those couples who stick together come rain, come shine. Although you might have had a painful experience, please, still believe in marriage, it works when you get it right. Please we are available if you need a one-on-one counsel session with us. See the contact page. God bless you.
It’s very simple why men don’t want to get married! The divorce rate is 50 percent. Wives filed 85 percent of the divorces. If couples stay together 15 to 20 percent of wives will have an affair! In a divorce court the husband will lose his house,his kids and most of his money. Most men enjoy the company of women and are able to have that companionship with out throwing there life away. I heard a divorced woman joke how her weak husband wasn’t able to handle the divorce an ended his life! I have two sons in there 20s I told both of them marriage would be one of worst mistakes they could make. Find a nice lady and stay with her until she gets bored and then move on!
Thanks, Perry for sharing your story. I wish you a great weekend.
Hello dear, I really applaud you on such a wonderful article. These days getting married is something you have to take precaution. I have been involved in many heartbreaks and disappointment from women because they might be good at the beginning of the marriage and later change to something else. Thanks bringing such a great topic and I recommend this article useful. I hope to see more on amazing topics that helps such as this. Thank you
Thanks Rod for sharing your thoughts on this. Have a great day.
For whatever reason it is, everyone has a choice to make in this life and we all owe our life to the decisions we decided to make. This is really a great post that has shared everything that entails as reasons why most people dont get married in life especially for men who grew up without their mothers or because of the ones who are too shy. This is a great post. Thanks
Hello Audrey, we appreciate the fact that you gave it your time to read and agreed to 2 of the points. This article to some can take more than just one reading for understanding. I suggest that you bookmark this page for further reading. It will do you a lot of good to also see things from how it really is and from others’ points of view. Thanks so much for the comment.
I’m sorry to say that I agree with only 2 of your reasons – number 2 and 3. Maybe because I don’t believe in certain things.
It might be true that if a young boy doesn’t have a present mom while he grows, the only thing he will see is a single dad with a kid and, as you said, unconsciously he might replicate what his dad lived, which means no life partner.
Yes, I said life partner because I believe 2 men can be together and get married too (depending where they live since the gay marriage isn’t accepted everywhere). I think the most important thing a kid should have is love and attention from his parents and see that his parents are loving each other. Gender doesn’t matter.
Now, for sure if they don’t socialize it will definitely make it harder to meet someone. Doing activities, going out, etc are important to meet new people.
Thanks for sharing your opinion and the way you see it, it was interesting. 🙂
Hello Shanta, thank you for reaching out and for being honest with your story. I must confess that your question is one of the most difficult that I have come across. Well, truth be told, it’s the Holy Spirit who is the giver of all wisdom. Don’t forget that Jesus Christ is the wisdom of God and the very embodiment of knowledge (1 Corinthians 1:24).
Knowing Jesus Christ is like tapping into the kind of wisdom that can only come from above concerning earthly matters. What you or your grandfather did many years ago, can be told you now in an instant by the power of the Holy Spirit. That’s what we call spiritual counseling which some people don’t get it. It doesn’t take religion or theology to be a spiritual counselor but it takes the Holy Spirit to be one. A Christian counselor is different from a spiritual counselor.
A Christian counselor does his with the knowledge of the word of God in the Bible and what is acceptable with culture, religion and other mores. But a spiritual counselor does his in the spirit via the gifts of wisdom, knowledge and other revelatory gifts.
To answer you, I would say that it’s the Lord’s doing. In addition, have a mentor who you trust and can learn from. I have been privileged to be taught and mentored by Reverend P. C. Akubueze. That is one relationship that I don’t and can never take for granted. I never planned to ever write such as a response to anyone, but I don’t regret it if it serves to bring clarity and help answer your question. thank you, Shanta, for making me see reasons again to praise the Lord for His goodness and mercies. God bless you too.
Hello Verra, First of all, many thanks for giving us such a wonderful and thoughtful article. But I have a question that has been running through my mind since I started reading your writing. The question is where do you get your wisdom about relationships as a very young lady? And most especially, these last two talking about men who don’t get married. How do you know this? Because it’s so true and I have thought that such wisdom should come from old men who have lived it. You see what I mean. It’s more of a compliment than a criticism.
One of my brothers was not married. And when we asked him why he shared some of his experiences with us (me in particular). But I saw that your article has many similar experiences that he told me. How do you know this? However, not my brother Eunuch, though.
A great read indeed. God bless you.
Thanks, Brother Paul for sharing your thoughts on this subject. To God be all the glory. And please share with the brethren to help bring some light into their potential relationships. May the Lord continue to bless you and your ministry.
To be honest, in our Church youth team there are some men who are really worried about not getting married. They give us a prayer request every week and we are praying for years but still, things are not happening for them. I came across your informative articl;e while doing some online search.
True, many don’t have mom (lost their mother). For sure the people I am talking about are not Eunuchs, they are fasting and praying for their marriage lol.
Also, they don’t socialize and they feel very shy to talk to others in our youth group. In the beginning, bringing them to our youth team itself was a big challenge for us. I will share some helpful insights I got from this article with them.
Thanks, Martin for your contribution. You can check the links again, I think it works. Reading part one would help increase your understanding. Thanks again.
This is a very one sided post from my view. You believe what you believe and that’s it. It is a interesting read though. I believe that men weren’t made to love men and same goes for women, and I stand by it. Some people are just plain stubborn and don’t want to let other people into their life. PS. Your “click here” doesn’t work.
hello Stephen, thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. I must say that it’s never too late for anything in life. I wish you the best in your relationship.
This is an interesting website as I’m single and never got married althouh had long-term GF’s I’m not sure any of the mentioned reasons fits in with my reason. I was ill previous but I’m fine now. I think I never really stayed around enough after travelling hence my long-term Gf was foreign and we had a good time with a good relationship. I really find your website interesting to read.