14 Ways To Raise Your Children As A Christian Couple
Introduction
It affects my heart greatly when I see children of great men of God living recklessly as if they have no shepherd over them. Oftentimes, parents of these children successfully raise well-behaved spiritual children more than their biological children. I have heard different cases of children (grown-ups) who ended their journey in the world even though they were raised by very strong and spiritual parents. Although some see this as a spiritual issue which may be, however, it’s often important for parents to know practical ways and intentional ways to raise their children in the way of the Lord.
A few years back, I traveled to Lagos and I had to follow someone to get something along Oshodi area. We needed to withdraw some money to get the few things we needed, only for us to see a naked madman. Everyone stared at him and the painful part of this story is the aspect where someone calls out to him “Wale, omo pastor” meaning “Wale, pastor’s son.” I felt a heat from within and I couldn’t hold my tears. I learned his addiction to drugs led him to that state.
As a young and teenage girls counselor, I have had encounters with several young girls born by servants of God and some, spiritual parents but I often get amazed when I see how these young girls lead their lives and what they are exposed to. When I was planning to get married, I had to pray for wisdom and the help of God to help us shepherd the children God will bless us with.
Raising children as a Christian couple is a blessing and comes with a huge responsibility. The scripture is our manual as Christians and it guides how to nurture and train children in the ways of the Lord, ensuring they grow up with a strong faith foundation and live their lives according to the will of God. Proverbs 22:6 states, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” This Bible verse speaks on the importance of training our children intentionally, by the will of God, and what we desire they become. Today, we see children from godly homes living recklessly, involved in drugs, gayism, lesbianism, cyber crime, prostitution, and a lot more. To train your children intentionally, kindly read this article to the end.
Below are 14 ways Christian couples can raise their children in the way of the Lord and as instructed in the Bible:
1. Pray Together As A Family As They Grow With You
2. Build Their Interest In Daily Scripture Reading
3. Increase Their Love For The House Of God
4. Teach Them Biblical Values By Laying The Example
5. Help Them Grow In Faith By Modelling A Strong Faith
6. Give Them The Privilege To Ask Questions
7. Teach Them To Make Gratitude To God A Way Of Life
8. Teach Them To Serve God And Others
9. Pray For Them Always
10. Teach Them The Importance Of Worship
11. Discipline And Set Boundaries With Love When Necessary
12. Teach Them To Spend Quality Time With God Independently
13. Teach Them To Discern Between Good And Evil
14. Encourage Them To Embrace Patience And Absolute Trust In God
1. Pray together as a family as they grow with you
Begin each day with prayer as a family and ensure you wake them up as you observe your morning prayers. What children grow up to do daily tends to stick with them for life. Make them see the importance of prayer before doing anything during the day. Jesus says, “For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them”(Matthew 18:20). Your children should know the importance of Praying with you as a family. It helps in establishing your bond with them as a parent, it also helps them see how much of a loving family you have.
Praying together strengthens family bonds and brings God’s presence into your home. It also guides your children on how to build their own families when they grow up. Praying together also helps you keep track of your prayer life. How? When you demand they lead prayer once in a while, it helps you know their growth and how well they know how to pray.
2. Build their interest in daily Scripture reading
Bible reading for your kids is very important and this must be done daily there is a need to incorporate it into your family routine.”Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path” (Psalm 119:105). Regularly reading Scripture helps children understand God’s will and builds their spiritual knowledge. Give them chapters of the Bible to read daily and let them tell you what they’ve read, understood, and learned while reading.
Make Bible reading interesting for them by getting them devotional books, Christian storybooks, and their own personal Bible. As I’ve said earlier, doing this consistently will help them grow addicted to these spiritual exercises. After each reading, ensure they have a memory verse that you will constantly ask them to recite before picking another portion of the Bible. This will help them grow to have the word of God in their mouth and hearts.
3. Increase their love for the house of God
Make church attendance a priority for you and your children. The Bible says “Not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near” (Hebrews 10:25). Being part of a church community supports your children’s spiritual growth and helps them see the relevance of fellowship. The house of God is a good place to be and grow. Make them interested in attending church services, participating in church programs, sitting quietly during the sermon, and being actively involved while there. After every service, ask them questions. What did they learn in church? What did they learn from the sermon?
The house of God is a beautiful place to be at all times, encourage your children to love going there.
4. Teach them Biblical Values by laying the example
The values we have differentiates us from the world. These are virtues that separate a true child of God from an unbeliever. Instill biblical values such as honesty, kindness, and forgiveness in your children. The Bible says “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4).
Model these values in your behavior and practically teach them to do the same. Teach them to love one another and others, teach them to easily forgive others even if it’s painful, teach them to always speak the truth, teach them to be kind towards others, and teach them to give no matter how little! All these can be achieved perfectly if you do the same in their presence. We are models to our children and they often grow up to replicate whatever we do. Therefore, teach them. biblical values by laying the example.
5. Help them grow in Faith by modeling a strong faith
At a point in my life when I was pregnant with my second child, I noticed I was bleeding due to the stress I often go through at work. My visit to the hospital made me realize how severe it was and how possible it could be that I had lost the baby already. When the Doctor said that, I rejected that and I told her my baby was still alive. To the Doctor’s surprise, she could hear the heartbeat and she confirmed I was right after all. The pregnancy came with a lot of threats to my life that the Doctor said only surgery would bring the child but through faith in God, my son was born 40 minutes after entering the theatre room without struggle or surgery.
I use this experience to speak with both of them and I often tell them about other experiences of life that faith in God had helped me and their father pull through. These are practical ways to help your children see the goodness of God and also grow in Faith in God. Demonstrate a strong, active faith in your daily life visible enough for your children to see and learn from it. The word of God says “I will show you my faith by my works” (James 2:18). Let your children see your trust in God through your actions, decisions, and your daily walk with God knowing fully well that they will also learn to solely depend on God for help.
6. Give them the privilege to ask questions
Create a safe and peaceful space for your children to ask questions about faith, life, your past experiences, and how you overcome certain challenges of life. The Bible says “Always be prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect” (1 Peter 3:15). Encourage their curiosity and provide biblical answers to their questions. Never shun them when they approach you with questions, rather, you should slow them down and tell them to be free when talking to you. When you notice their mistakes through their discussion with you, don’t be quick to judge them but deal with them in understanding and tell them what to do if such were to happen again.
7. Teach them to make Gratitude to God a way of life
Gratitude to God must be a way of life. It does not only help you to acknowledge the goodness of God but it also helps you to stay contented with what God blesses you with. Teach your children to be thankful for God’s blessings and help received. “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” Gratitude fosters a positive and humble heart (1Thessalonians 5:18). Teach them to thank God for everything, in all circumstances, in all situations, when things are good, when they get challenged, when they do well academically when they don’t, they must thank God for all and in all. Tell them the importance and benefits of doing so.
8. Teach them to serve God and others
Teach your children to serve God with their gifts and talents and also serve others through love and showing compassion towards others. Also, engage in acts of service as a family and be intentional about it. “Through love serve one another” (Galatians 5:13). Serving others teaches your children about compassion and reflects Christ’s love. This will help your children place importance on relationships and see how important it is to serve God, love God, and the works of His hands.
9. Pray for them always
This is an important role every parent must play in the lives of their children. A praying tongue is a powerful tongue. Your children become what you speak about them in prayer. Pray for your children’s spiritual growth and well-being. Shape their lives through prayer and speak into their future. Pray over everything, the company they keep, pray over their hearts to constantly pant after God and the things of God. This can be visibly seen in the life of Job, in the Bible. Also, the Bible tells us to pray for one another (James 5:16). Don’t wait to see the traits of what you don’t want in them before you start praying for them. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.” Praying for your children brings them closer to God and helps them stay at the center of God’s will.
10. Teach them the importance of Worship
Establish an environment of worship in your home where you come together to worship God. Worship is a way of life, it’s a deep acknowledgment of God’s greatness birthed from within us. Let your children learn how to acknowledge God as the doer of all things. This gives them a sense of respect and reverence for God. Encourage singing hymns and worship songs together. “Oh come, let us worship and bow down; let us kneel before the Lord, our Make” (Psalm 95:6). Worshiping together strengthens your family’s faith.
11. Discipline and set boundaries with love when necessary
Discipline is very important for children because it helps them grow to know the risks involved in living recklessly or sinning against God. The word of God supports discipline and as it grows, it must not be shunned. Children are easily influenced but the discipline you inculcate in them will help them stay on track. Establish and enforce boundaries rooted in biblical principles. “Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart” (Proverbs 29:17). Consistent, loving discipline guides your children in righteousness because God chastises us when we are wrong so that we can come to the knowledge of the truth, correct our mistakes and be back on our feet. Never ignore discipline when raising your children and let them know their boundaries when necessary.
12. Teach them to spend quality time with God independently
Help your children develop a personal relationship with God and know God themselves. There was a time when I was going through a certain challenge and my daughter saw water in my eyes, she said to me “Mummy, I will pray for you”. As young as she was then, she knew the importance of calling on God for help. Although the prayer sounded funny which made me laugh eventually, God saw her heart and granted my desire.
Your children need time to independently know who God is and why we call on Him and serve Him. This encounter will help them live their lives according to His will. “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart” (Jeremiah 29:13). This aspect of the Bible encourages us to seek God in prayer and Scripture and as we do so, we get close to Him, and know Him more. Encourage quiet time for your children, tell them to communicate with God during this time and as they do this consistently, they grow addicted to His presence.
13. Teach them to discern between good and evil
Bad company corrupts good manners. Equip your children to discern between godly and worldly influences. Teach them to run away from friends who influence them badly and relate with only those who encourage spiritual growth with them. As they grow, tell them the dangers attached to living a reckless life, and give examples in the Bible and real-life occurrences. The Bible says “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind” (Romans 12:2) Teach them to make choices that honor God and not choices that will take them out of the will of God.
14. Encourage them to embrace patience and absolute trust in God
Train them by making yourself a model. Show patience and grace in your parenting, reflecting God’s love, believing in them, and training them to be patient while waiting on God. The Scripture says “With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:2-3). Your example teaches them about God’s unconditional love and the need to have absolute trust in Him.
It’s like children rush things. They want to rush their food, and their assignments, they want to rush to fellowships, birthday parties, and so on. It’s your duty as a parent to teach them patience. Patience will help them believe in God and wait on Him whenever they are trusting. Even when they want to hear from God, train them to be patient till He speaks to them and when He does, they should patiently follow instructions.
Conclusion
Raising children in the way of the Lord as a Christian Couple requires being intentional and dedicated, it requires love and reliance on God’s guidance. The scripture says “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” To raise godly children requires that you trust and lean on God. Also, by following these biblical principles, you can guide your children to grow in faith and live their lives by the will of God.
I believe you find this article helpful. Feel free to share your knowledge with friends and family because God is trusting you and me to raise the children He had given to us and will give to every other person trusting Him out there, in a godly way. By the grace of God, our children shall be great and shall fulfill their purpose, in life, in Jesus’ name. Amen.
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