Have you ever had someone tell you: I love you? I bet you have. Let me ask again. Have you ever felt a desire to know if he or she truly meant it? If you have, I feel you. I have been there too. It’s very easy to proclaim love, but how do you know when it’s beyond that?
Especially since you cannot literally see the hearts of those who claim to love you? Well, this article provides helpful signs that can show you if someone truly loves you. It shows you when it’s true love, and not just mere attraction, attention, or infatuation. I pray it gives you light. Do read on!
Signs To Know That Someone Truly Loves You
1. True Love Leads You to God, Not Away
God is true love (1 Jn. 4:8). Any attempts at love outside God may prove successful on the outside, but it’s only meretricious. It will lack love’s true essence. Someone who truly loves you will chase hard after the Fountain of Love, because he or she can always draw from it, and maybe, just maybe, be rewarded with you (Matt. 6:33).
Such a person’s love for you will be based firstly on his or her love for God, even before what he or she has for you. Since love is born from God, it should lead you to God. If it leads you away, then it’s very likely that it’s not true love.
A relationship God’s way is like a divine partnership. You are on a journey chasing hard after God, and you meet a partner doing the same. Together, you become God-chasers sauntering through life. Ask yourself: has my relationship with God improved since I knew this person?
2. True Love Shows Through Actions, Not Just Words
I often hear this: ‘Talk is cheap.’ And oh, how true that is. It’s very easy to say the words, “I love you”. But proving it is where the real work is (1 Jn. 3:18). When God proclaimed that He loves us, He did not just stop there. He accompanied it with an action. He “gave” His only begotten Son (Jn. 3:16).
He set a standard with this. So you have to ask yourself: Does this person prove that he or she loves me? Does he or she give freely of his time, and resources to me? Does he or she show up, and keep his or her promises to me? Does he or she listen? Is he or she genuinely interested in me or my benefits? Is he or she kind?
Check out this person’s track record with you over time. If you’re honest, you will know if you’re truly loved.
3. True Love Respects Boundaries
Someone who truly loves you will respect you as a person, and also respect your boundaries. He or she will prize and value you hard enough not to degrade or dishonor you. Even if the person finds your standards or principles too high to tango, he or she will respect them, not mock you for them. Someone who knows what you stand for yet pressures you into doing the opposite does not truly care, for love does no harm (Rom. 13:10). He or she is only concerned about satisfying himself or herself, not growing with you.
Someone who truly loves you also respects your family and the ones you love, even if they may not be his or her favorite people on the planet.
4. True Love Takes Responsibility and Values Commitment
No relationship is going to be easy if you intend to do it the right way. While it’s true that you have the Holy Spirit’s help, it is a partnership where He enables you to do what you are supposed to do, not that He does everything for you.
Marriage is a life-long journey. Someone who truly loves you is in for the long haul and knows what he or she is getting into. He or she is not here to play games with your heart.
He is ready to do life with you, and clearly makes his intentions known with integrity (Matt. 5:37). When such a person has chosen you, he or she will own his or her choices and follow through with consistent actions.
5. True Love Is Patient and Not Selfish
Many these days delight in “proving” love – in the wrong way. But true love waits. It perseveres (1 Cor. 13:4,7). It does not want temporary satisfaction. It longs for a home built on something eternal and lasting.
True love respects you, so it waits. Again, someone who truly loves you does not pressure you to be with him or her. It’s true that he can shoot his shot, but he doesn’t force you or threaten you to be with him.
He or she goes gently with you, but still shows up consistently through right actions and words.
6. True Love Forgives and Builds Peace
There’s no relationship that does not suffer some kind of friction. It’s natural for partners in a relationship to disagree, not because they don’t love each other anymore, but for a number of other factors.
It may be misunderstandings, a lack of tolerance, or personality differences. Someone who truly loves you will not take to his or her heels at the first sight of dissonance. He or she sticks with you and aims for reconciliation. Of course, it doesn’t mean ignoring offences or red flags, but handling them maturely.
The Bible tells us to make peace, not only by praying for it, but through intentional actions that foster peace, like bearing with each other, not keeping a mental record book of wrongs, forgiving and bowing our pride (Col. 3:13; Eph. 4:2-3). Someone who loves you will exemplify longanimity.
7. True Love Protects Your Dreams And Prays for You
God gives each person on Earth assignments. He creates everyone with a purpose, and has placed dreams in every individual. No matter how much you love your partner and your values align, chances are that you will have different dreams.
You may be headed in the right direction, but you will find fulfilment in different ways. Someone who truly loves you is not just concerned about his or her dreams; he or she is also concerned about yours.
True partners want to see you fulfilled, and they work to see it become reality. They pray and prophesy into the future God has laid out for you, even as you walk together (Jas. 5:16-17).
8. True Love Accepts You for Who You Are, But Helps You Become What God Wants You to Be
If someone claims to love you, but doesn’t click with your person, then something is wrong. If you have to change or distort your original self to please someone who claims to love you, then I doubt that it is true love at all.
Someone who truly loves you sees your imperfections, flaws, strengths, and weaknesses, and still chooses you. He or she loves you for you. Now don’t get me wrong. This should not be an excuse for bad behavior. If anything, consider Jesus – the perfect definition of True Love.
He accepts us as we are, yet does not leave us as we are, but helps us become what we should be (Rom. 12:2; 2 Cor. 3:18). And that’s what true partners do. They don’t compete; they encourage and cheer you on as you become the best version of yourself, and not somebody else.
9. True Love Is Rooted in Sacrifice, Not Convenience
We already established that true love is proven by the right actions, not just words. And the truth is that these actions are rooted in sacrifice, not convenience. You will not always feel like saying sorry, or be in the mood to smile.
Neither will you always have the time to go grab lunch, or remember every tiny detail that matters to the one you care about. But because you truly love such a person, you will make the effort and create the time. Again, true love chooses you even when it’s hard.
Like when you don’t have a job yet (but are not idle), or when you have a health issue, or when you’re not made out yet. Of course, this doesn’t mean looking out only for people with challenges because you want to show true love, but truly, love is sacrificial (Jn. 15:13, 1 Jn. 3:16).
10. True Love Says the Truth
In a point above, we established that true love accepts you for who you are. And that is true. But true love can only accept the real you when you are the true you. If you have to lie about who you are, or what you have, or revel in deception to win the heart of someone you love, then it means you do not truly love that person. It only means that you need his or her benefits, or you are not confident in your own person. Don’t be this way. Own yourself, be you, and be proud of who you are. As said earlier, someone who truly loves you will accept the real you.
Again, someone who truly loves you tells you the truth about yourself – not to mock you, but to help you grow. It helps to say the truth. Say the truth! (Eph. 4:25; 1 Cor. 13:6).
11. True Love Reflects Christ
As I grow older, I am learning that reflecting Christ is not always about looking “spiritual”. You know, like by adding “Praise the Lord” to every sentence when you’re conversing with someone.
Or being the most prayerful person in the room. Of course, these are not bad in themselves, and can be signs of being truly spiritual. But sometimes, being Christ-like means being quiet – not loud in speech, but your life speaking out loudly about the Person who lives in you.
Someone who truly loves you lives and loves like Christ. He or she displays the fruits of the Spirit (Gal. 5:22-23). It is evident and consistent in his or her life. Understood?
Finally, it’s helpful to carefully look out for these signs and not stall on making the decisions that God will have you make. But as a matter of priority, seek the wisdom and discernment of the Holy Spirit to help you see beyond (Jas. 1:5).
God loves you, friend. Believe, trust, and obey Him, and you can be sure that His plans for you will amaze you (Jer. 29:11). You’re loved more than you know!
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