How do you see God? A big guy up there watching you through a telescope? A cosmic killjoy uninterested in your life? Or a Father who loves you and wants the very best for you? Many of us, for most of our lives, never really encounter God’s love. At best, we know it in our heads, but never come to its realization in our hearts.
But what happens when we finally realize that the Father loves us? It makes us free, unafraid, whole, and secure. Not only that, but it affects how we love others. Many of us are enervated from loving, and find loving others, especially our partners, a burden, not a delight. But receiving the Father’s love radically transforms how we love others, especially our partners. This is because His love often meets us at the roots of our emotions. So now, you may be wondering: If this is so, how does it work?
In this article, I will walk you through eight ways embracing the Father’s love will empower you to love. I pray it sets your heart on fire. Do read on!
8 Ways Embracing the Father’s Love Empowers Us To Love
1. The Father’s Love Establishes Our Identity
We don’t always know it, but some of the dry flowers we see on the branches of our lives are due to dry roots. Many of us do not love from a place of wholeness. We have been taught or learned early on that we are loved only when we achieve, are valued only when we perform, or are beautiful only when we look the part.
The downside to this is that because we do not know, accept, or love who we are, we look to others, like our partners, to tell us who we are. We look to them to validate our worth and our prospects of being lovable. If we’re fortunate that they do, we become so desperate that we idolize and cling to them even when God says to let go. And if they don’t, our identity comes crashing down. However, this is where the Father’s love changes everything.
The Father validates you not because you do better, but because you are better because of what Christ has done on the Cross. He even validated Jesus before He ever even died on the cross (Matt. 3:17). When you receive the Father’s love, it empowers you to love from a place of wholeness, not insecurity or desperation.
2. The Father’s Love Heals Our Wounds
When I was younger, I felt unloved, especially by my peers. To put it succinctly, I felt rejected, and in a way, it affected how I gave and received love. Many of us also suffer from this. Perhaps you have been rejected by someone you truly loved or admired, or you experienced a break-up that has left your heart shattered, or you may have been the emotional one who never had the safe space to let your emotions out and still be loved and held.
Maybe you were abandoned, abused, or neglected in some way as a child or presently as an adult. The thing is that this affects how you love because you either become withdrawn, defensive, or fearful, and you unknowingly project the pain of the past even on the right people.
But hey, your Father is a good Father. Even though you may not have had an available earthly father, your Heavenly Father is able to use His bond of love to heal all the broken places in your heart so that you may be free to love, just as He created you to be (Ps. 147:3; Isa. 61:1-3). Bet you can’t wait for this, right?
3. The Father’s Love Teaches Us How to Love
I like that God is not just a loving Father, He is Love Himself—not because we coined it out of His character in Scripture, but because the words are clearly written: God is love! (1 Jn. 4:8,16) Now, if God is not just a paragon of love, but is love Himself, is it not a privilege to know that you have first-hand information on how to love as a child of God guided by the Spirit of love?
Heck, there’s nothing better than that. In 1 Corinthians 13, God gives us a brief exposition of what true love is—the kind of love the Father has. He says it is patient, kind, not arrogant, envious and so many things. We can also learn from Jesus, who was sacrificial, committed, consistent, and faithful to us no matter where we were at (Mk. 10:45; Phil. 2:5-8). He still is (Heb. 4:15-16).
When you have stayed with the Father, His Spirit transforms you to love the God-kinda way. You become more patient in conflict, gentle and kind in communication, secure and not jealous, and yes, it’s a complete package. Learn the Love-way, will you?
4. The Father’s Love Removes the Fear of Vulnerability
We are naturally averse to being vulnerable. And it’s not our fault. We don’t like others seeing the facts about us that make us cringe and walk with heads hung low. However, I am learning that to love deeply means to be “naked and unashamed” (not literally though).
It means letting the one you love and are committed to see the whole of you without fear. It means being open and honest. Sometimes, you may be worried that sharing might make the person hurt you, or it might make you lose the person. Of course, you should be discreet and wise, but if it does happen, then it likely means that the person is not truly meant for you.
Embracing the Father’s Love means freedom from fear because perfect love casts out fear (1 Jn. 4:18). It casts out fear because you know that even if the person leaves or your age increases with each passing year, Jesus never leaves and He is able to bring the right person at just the right time (Heb. 13:5). Trust Him!
5. The Father’s Love Frees Us from Unrealistic Expectations
If a survey were to be conducted where each participant would share the top five reasons why people get into relationships, chances are that the need to be loved and accepted for who one is would be one of them. Deep down, it’s an innate desire in each one of us.
We often look to our partners to fill this longing in our hearts. The downside is that we eventually realize that even with our partners’ best attempts at loving us, they will fall short. Looking to them to fill all our emotional needs only causes us hurt and resentment at them when it’s not even their fault.
However, when we embrace the Father’s Love, we find satisfaction. We realize that all that we have been looking for all along is found in Him. Knowing this also helps us to love with grace instead of demanding perfection since we know only Love can love perfectly. I hope you got that?
6. The Father’s Love Empowers Forgiveness
God’s love offers you forgiveness that helps you see yourself the way He sees you not by the lenses of your past (2 Cor. 5:17; Ps. 103:10-12). When you have come to realize the gravity of love and mercy the Father has shown you in offering you forgiveness, you cannot help but extend the same.
One of the hardest aspects of loving is forgiving. People will always hurt you (your partner included) —unwittingly or not. Sometimes, they will even be at fault and still refuse to apologize or acknowledge their wrongs. At times like this, letting bitterness and resentment seethe looks justifiable.
However, when you reflect on the Father’s Love expressed through His forgiveness even when you were/are unworthy, you forgive—not because it’s easy, but because you have been forgiven (Rom. 5:8; Col. 3:13).
7. The Father’s Love Produces Faithfulness
If you read through the Father’s Love letter to us, you will learn something vital: God is very committed to us—even in our unfaithfulness. And He wants us to model His covenant relationship with us in our romantic relationships (especially marriage).
When you have experienced the Father’s Love, and you consistently see how faithful He is to you, you can’t help but stay faithful. And the better part? Faithfulness is a fruit of the Holy Spirit (Gal. 5:22). So when you stay rooted in God, the Holy Spirit imbues you with the desire to be faithful, and the Father’s strength is made available to you to help you overcome.
Let’s consider Joseph’s story. When Joseph chose faithfulness, he did not do so only because he had a flair for morality. He did so to please his Father, who had loved him with an unending love (Gen. 39:6-10). Learn from this.
8. The Father’s Love Turns Love Into a Reflection, Not a Transaction
We’re often tempted to ask ourselves: What am I getting from this relationship? Sometimes, it can be helpful to ask to ensure that love is being reciprocated and not just one-sided. The mistake, however, lies in making love a transaction. It becomes terrible when you only give because you are expecting something in return.
This is where you start keeping score and counting: “Who calls more?” “Who gives more?” “Who sacrifices more?” “Who loves more?” And if it doesn’t seem to work or you feel cheated (even when your partner is trying his or her best), you ditch the relationship and move on. However, receiving the Father’s love enables you to be more introspective and expressive.
Instead of doing only because it has been done to you or because you expect it to be, you begin to act in the pattern that the Father would act, treating your spouse or partner the same way you would like to be treated—even when it would never be repaid (Matt. 7:12). When you do this, your relationship becomes more meaningful because you are loving just how the Father would.
Finally, the Father does love you. He’s your safest “safe space.” When He commands you to love others, for example, your partner, He’s not telling you to manufacture love. He’s telling you to pour from the abundance that He’s already poured into you. We can only love because He first loved us (1 Jn. 4:7,11,19). And when we receive His love, it changes how we love others and empowers us in our love walk.
It empowers us by anchoring our identity, healing our wounds, casting fear out of the doors of our hearts, producing faithfulness, and giving us the standard for true love. Now, if you have never received this love, or better still, have never come to its realization in your heart, take a moment to ask God for a revelation of His amazing love for you. His love will make the difference, I tell you. So what are you still waiting for? Join me as we love the Love-way. Stay blessed, friend.
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