14 Ways To Resolve Marital Conflicts – How To Resolve Marital Conflicts, Part 2
Marriage is made up of different people who at times have different opinions about the same situation, which may bring about discord, friction, strife, or contention in that relationship. We’ve been talking about the 14 ways to resolve marital conflicts in our previous article, which you can find here. And in this article with the title, “14 ways to resolve Marital conflicts – How to resolve marital conflict, part 2”, we shall continue with another seven points to empower you and help you know and choose what is best for your relationship at the time of need. Let’s continue:
8) Seek The Help Of Legal Family Counsel
They are lawyers who are specialists in family law and matrimonial issues. They can tell you when a behavior crosses the redline. They can detect abuse and when your rights as a human are being infringed upon. These counsels know how to handle divorce cases, protecting your rights. They are good in cases of sexual and domestic violence, separation and the liabilities during and after the process. If you don’t know what the law of the land says concerning marriage, it’s wise to get the help of legal counsel.
9) Seek The Help Of Community Leaders
This may be cultural and may not apply to every clime. But there are some marriages that face difficulties that attract the attention of community leaders such as the chiefs, the Kings, and other local community heads whose authority is not abused.
In some climes, these leaders have helped several marriages regain stability, trust and continuity with their set of rules and regulations acknowledged within that community and taught by them to their followers who admire their authority. When the community becomes aware of the consequences of certain actions, they refrain from them which helps avoid marital misunderstandings, abuse of parental authority, domestic violence and other marital conflicts and crimes.
These community elders seek to preserve the traditions of their tribes or clans. In very though marital issues, they can banish and take extreme measures to protect victims of sexual abuse, violence, and other abominable acts. If you live within such climes, seek help from them. But be sure that their authority is legit and not abused.
10) Seek The Help Of Reputed Family Elders
Because of experience and family connections, some relatives or in-laws who are elderly can offer a vast knowledge of marital issues that can help the young people in marriage succeed as couples. If you have some members of the family who are married and have stayed longer together and have gained some level of success in marriage, you can tap from their wealth of experiences to help you at the time of need.
11) Read Books About Marriage And Relationships
Marriage books offer a plethora of insightful scenarios, wisdom, conflict solutions and inspirations about marriage, divorce, and living as couples. A book is a person in words. It reveals a person’s mind about a subject which you find of interest. A book can be your mentor if you read what others have observed, experienced and put together. Although it is not cheap but affordable, It can save you money and time from seeking professional advice.
There is nothing new under the sun, the Bible says (Ecclesiastes 1:9). Nothing new means your issues had happened before. You do not stand alone because it has happened to someone somewhere. But how would you know how that person overcame it? By reading books written by them or by others concerning marriage and relationships. There you can have revelations and inspirations to navigate through your own situations successfully.
Make it a habit to read good books about marriage yearly together with your spouse. By so doing, you both grow together loving each other. It’s also good for singles to read marital books to help secure their future homes. In addition, the divorcees also may find this book reading culture an act to imbibe in their daily lives in order to refresh their minds for a new beginning and receive new insights and wisdom from others who have gone through the same marital issues successfully. This only equips them for the future reunion.
12) Attend Conferences That Empowers Couples And Marriages
There are many conferences around the world or even within your vicinity, that empower couples and help marriages to succeed. Don’t miss the opportunity to be a part of that crowd. Attending such conferences only adds to your knowledge about marriage. And you know what? Knowledge is power. Information transforms lives. You empower yourself before issues arise and make yourself more able to handle marital issues like a pro. Attempt to attend any conference or summit which empowers couples to thrive together. It could be at the church venue or at another location, don’t miss it or take it for granted.
13) Stay Consistent Walking In Love
No matter how bad things get, you can do whatever you want to do to resolve the conflict maintaining the love walk. I don’t necessarily mean to continue to hurt yourself to love someone who doesn’t want you or love you in return. No.
But while they don’t value you or love you, you can love yourself by yourself for yourself. Do you see what I mean? Your partner hates you doesn’t mean you should hate yourself or hate others. It doesn’t mean others would hate you, or someone can not love you again. So stay in love with yourself and with others, keeping a good attitude even at the heat of the conflict.
Whether you are facing a divorce situation, you can be happy with yourself and your life. There’s life after divorce, you know. My point is to stay in love in trying to resolve marital issues because it empowers you to even go through the difficulties peacefully without endangering your health.
There are others who kept loving even while they were surrounded by marital conflicts from left to right. Because they kept their poise and attitude in check, they saw how to handle their predicaments in a different stance and regained their love partners back. Love is a powerful thing. This cannot be overstated. Love never fails, the Bible says (1 Corinthians 13:8).
14) Resolve Marital Issues Timely
A conflict is a conflict irrespective of how small it is. It can mutate to something big, delicate and consequently, too late to repair or resolve. Conflicts in marriage must be resolved quickly before it turns into something else.
You may be surprised to hear that what some people called “Trivial or Petty issue” was what caused their divorce. Little marital issues grow bigger over time when neglected. Do not neglect them.
A story is told of a couple who had a little argument and the lady left home to stay with her friend. The man could not reconcile with his ego to go see how she was doing at her friend’s house. Many weeks passed and she thought this man was serious and had forgotten about her.
On one occasion, another admirer started a relationship with her and in the process, she got pregnant for him. A few months later, her former partner thought about ironing issues out with her to bring her back home. But on meeting her friend, he discovered that she was at the hospital. He rushed to the hospital feeling guilty that he was the cause of her sickness.
Arriving at the hospital, a nurse inquired of him and asked him to wait. Moments later, the nurse came saying, “Congratulations, you had a son. The baby and mother are doing fine. Come with me, please.” The air of benign affability quickly died down as he slowly walked behind her to the confirmation of what he had just heard. To say that he was shocked and speechless could be an understatement.
Long story short, the relationship ended there and then, not because he didn’t love her, but because he allowed issues to linger for too long. What he could have resolved within days took him months until it was too late for a comeback. Resolve marital issues timely before it gets out of hand.
We have just concluded the title, “14 ways to resolve Marital conflicts – How to resolve marital conflict, part 2”, and have mentioned 7 points to help you resolve marital conflicts which are: Seek The Help Of Legal Family Counsel, Seek The Help Of Community Leaders, Seek The Help Of Reputed Family Elders, Read Books About Marriage And Relationships, Attend Conferences That Empowers Couples And Marriages, Stay Consistent Walking In Love, and Resolve Marital Issues Timely.
To Read The Part 1, Click Here.
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Wow! Very fast update. I just read part 1 yesterday, but today has released the part 2. A good website because it keeps updating!
Talking about resolving marital conflict, I totally agree with
“Stay Consistent Walking In Love”. I believe every husband must have experienced a quarter life crisis in marriage life like I experienced. This often happens because they feel their relationship with a partner is nothing more than a formality. You demand your partner to ensure that matters A, B, C are finished. And your partner demands that you ensure X, Y and Z.
This routine sometimes brings a burnout and makes me “think” of ending a relationship (divorce). However, because God was so kind to me, my wife became ill . And at that time, I felt my housekeeping works, laundry, and many things were neglected. That’s where I realized that without her, my life would never be perfect. Therefore, we must Stay Consistent Walking In Love. And I have held that very strong until now.
By the way, what do you think if your parents’ words make me hate my wife even more, because my parents often shows my wife’s ugliness? Even though I know that humans are not perfect. Do you have any solution?
Thanks for finding it helpful to you. please do keep in touch to tell us how things are changing. Wishing you much of luck, Raz.
Thanks a lot for such an amazing review about 14 Ways To Resolve Marital Conflicts and the explanations given.
I was involved in a Marital Conflict with my wife so I was looking for how to solve the problem on the internet, I read many articles but this is the best one so far. Now here’s what I’m going to do: to imbibe some of the things you shared into my home. Particularly, reading a book together about marriage, attending meetings that empower relationships, even seeing a counselor is not rules out. Parts 1 and 2 are very helpful.
Thanks again and keep in touch.
Hello, yes movies geared to solving marital issues can also do the magic. They are a great way to learn how to resolve marital conflicts. Kudos to that point. And yes, your position to love your spouse is applaudable. Thanks for sharing your story.
I faced a marital conflict 6 years ago, but it was this movie called ‘Fireproof’ that helped us to regain the loving relationship back. There are times when the environment caused a couple to always be in arguments, but there are times when mostly what’s within us are manifested in our marriage. As a husband, it is an utmost responsibility to love his spouse and never hurt her either physically or emotionally.
You are welcome, Benny. I agree with the fact that some people close can do more harm than good. But again, the word REPUTED is used to mean that the person has some good records as far as relationship matter solving is concerned. If they have been a source of support and solutions to many, the records would tell you to trust them. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Benny.
Hello, I really want to first appreciate your effort in putting this great website together and writing this article. I feel like I have met with a councilor although this is just from number 8 to 14, (or maybe I have not read the first part of the article. It could be), I feel some reputed family members can cause more harm than good when involved in marital issues. I agree with every other point there in.
Thanks Kelly for the contribution.
Personally, I’ve learnt a lot after going through your article. There are so many things to consider on how to resolve marital conflicts. When a couple tends to have issues, there are best ways to resolve this of which you’ve stated because if left unattended, small or trivial issues as we may see it to be can tear a family apart.
We should always seek counsels from experienced and trustworthy people. They help a lot in terms of marital conflicts. When we do this, we help our marriage in the long run.
Great article.
Thanks Nim, for your contribution.
Hello. I’m glad I came back here and I can read part 2 of this article.
As I said in the first part, I have been married for 2 years and I can say that problems are everywhere. In my opinion there is no marriage without problems,and the most important thing is to know how to solve them and learn from mistakes. In all these years I have emphasized that pride is the greatest cause. If we manage to give up the pride I think the problems will be easier to solve. As you said in step number 11, reading books about relationships and marriages is very beneficial. My wife and I decided to do this and I want to say that it felt like we were going to a marriage psychologist. The best news is that we managed to give up our pride and understand ourselves much better.
Thanks again for this amazing post. Can’t wait to see more like this. Wish you all the best!
Nagy.
Hello, Asmadi, thanks for dropping by and for your kind remarks. Let me start by saying that there will be something coming up pretty soon on the subject of your question.
To be candid with you, you aren’t alone. There are many others who have faced similar issues with the parents making their marriages hell on earth. While parents should know better than their children to pass out good advices, not all do manifest such wisdom.
Your marriage is never your parents’ business but yours. Marriage unifies families, both your family and parents and In-laws. But if division is coming from the mother’s side, it calls for caution. Your mother is someone’s wife, first of all, before a mother. She wouldn’t be happy if she learned that someone was inciting your father against her. It’s wrong for her to incite hatred between you and your wife.
Kindly Let your mom know that you love your wife and that you don’t like what she’s saying about your lover. She should respect that. If she has any reason to say what she says, she should put it straight to you. But you are the one to decide whether to accept it or not. It must not be imposed on you. In any case, you should protect your wife from any hate speech whether coming from without or within.
But I must give you kudos for knowing that she is inciting hatred against your wife. That’s wisdom which isn’t common at all. That also tells me that you love your wife. Please in one word, CONTINUE. Thank you for sharing your story with us. I wish you the very best in your relationship.
Wow Cathy, that was quite thoughtful of you at that age. See how wise you were then. Wisdom is not just for the elderly.
Really sorry for what your parents went through and the trauma it could have been to you. I wish you much bliss in your relationship. Thank you for sharing your story.
My parents went through a rough patch when I was in my teens and none of them were reaching out to get help because exposing the weakness in their marriage was an embarrassing thing in my community – I think. So I took charge and ‘report the case’ to an elderly in the family and soon enough, people were coming over to check how we were doing. It was kind of awkward but it helped at the end of the day. I wondered what would have happened if I hadn’t gone out and search for help. I couldn’t bear the fact of seeing my family torn apart.
Thanks Andrew for taking the time to comment. We appreciate your input.
I guess I never really thought about conferences that could help for marriages, but it makes sense. As discussed using help from elders or books of someone’s opinion, this would be very similar to getting that experience from other couples. Your marriage can be strengthened with the help of others and hopefully reciprocate that support. This may also be a way to build couples’ relationships that can last a lifetime.
It is important to consistently walk in love for yourself. How can one truly love another if they don’t first show love for themselves? Would that person want to be loved by another if they don’t have love of their own.