Whether you’ve been hurt by someone, been through a divorce, or been abused in any way, there’s an emotional scar that comes with it, and which only “Dr. Forgiveness” can heal. I intend to create awareness to the fact that whenever couples reject Dr. Forgiveness, they begin to lose dominion and their sphere of influence generally.
But Who Is Dr. Forgiveness By The Way?
Well, Dr. Forgiveness isn’t an individual like you but can help you greatly. Dr. Forgiveness, like the name denotes, is the spirit of forgiveness. The spirit that motivates and empowers you to forgive and let go of an offense.
Why The Prefix (Dr.) ?
The prefix (Dr.), stands for Doctor of medicine, And like a medical Doctor who’s geared toward healing people who are sick, Dr. forgiveness has as its main objective to bring healing to the lives of couples who let it in.
Where Can One Reach Dr. Forgiveness ?
Since it isn’t a person, it cannot be reached as a matter of external location, but it can be reached internally from within you because it’s in you. Yes, I mean it! Dr. Forgiveness is in you, the victim of abuse; you, the person hurting. In this sense, you can reach down from within yourself and let it out.
Whenever Unforgiveness Is Present, Dr. Forgiveness Has Been Rejected
And it’s very likely that any couple who rejects the healing works of Dr. Forgiveness begins to see their dominion retrograding and their sphere of influence diminishing as they permit unforgiveness to reign over their lives.
You may also want to read the 13 Best Practices For Couples To Enhance Dialogue
Don’t Make It Your Friend
Are you aware of the consequences of unforgiveness? Do not ever be friendly with unforgiveness and undermine its effects. Do not take it lightly for unforgiveness is like cancer that eats up your soul, slowly but surely. Among its many repercussions, we are going to focus on its devastating effects on the lives of couples, notably, on the areas of dominion and sphere of influence.
Unforgiveness Limits Your World
When you don’t forgive someone, you limit your world. The resentment which you might have against someone isn’t doing you any good. Yeah! I know that you have a right to resent someone who hurt you, but what I want you to know is that it does no good to your world but limits it.
With such resentment, you would want to distance yourself from the person who hurt you. The person isn’t, necessarily, running away from you, rather the opposite is true. You are the one doing all you could to distance yourself from that person. Sharing the same space with that person becomes anathema to you. How painful can that be for couples who once loved each other!
Self Inflicted Limitations
A lady who badly needed a job after a long search and wait was invited to come for an interview, but she left the premises after she discovered that the one who was to preside over the interview was her ex-partner. That was the only reason for losing an enviable job opportunity. Why? Because she was still resenting the past, her past. Because of unforgiveness, her would-be dominion and career influence was limited by her own self.
Some couples living together may not be talking to each other, yet sharing similar space. They may have just one bed and each person sleeps at a different edge of the bed. They may have been eating together, but now one person eats when the other isn’t around. And if one person goes to eat and sees the other at the dining table, he or she does something else or leaves to come back later. All because of unforgiveness.
The resentment keeps diminishing your space, your world, your dominion. Beloved, You can’t continue to live like this. Allow Dr. Forgiveness to heal you.
You Cannot Dominate With False Peace and Joy
When you reject Dr. Forgiveness, unforgiveness comes in and steals your peace and joy. True peace and joy are never perturbed in the presence of an enemy. In fact, with true peace and joy in you, which are the works of Dr. Forgiveness, you can see your enemy or the one who hurt you in the face without an iota of internal pain in you.
You can greet your enemies without hard feelings. It’s the perfect context that the Lord Jesus tells those who are insulted and faced with all kinds of persecution, to be glad and rejoice. How funny that might sound, but it’s the truth (Matthew 5:11). You can be happy when insulted. You can be happy when persecuted.
However, this cannot be true with the spirit of unforgiveness in you. With unforgiveness, you enjoy a fake kind of peace. The peace which is peaceful as long as the enemies aren’t on-site and in-sight. If you see the one who hates you, however, the pain resurfaces to a much higher degree, and you become momentarily disconcerted. The peace you thought you had dissipates, leaving you worried and troubled on the inside.
Similarly, with unforgiveness, you enjoy a fake kind of joy. The joy that’s only joyful as far as the enemy “Gets lost!” But when you see the enemy, the one who hurt you, “Boom!” the pain flares up, and the joy leaves you! It’s Gone! It’s Stolen!
Restricted Influence On Your Children
There are some couples who once had control over their children when they were together, but lost partial or total control over them when problems set in and their relationship began to deteriorate to the point of separation and divorce. The bitterness, the resentment toward one-another was so strong that they rejected Dr. Forgiveness each time they were given the opportunity to accept its healing.
The level of abuse and violence increased to the point that the state had to intervene to protect their children. Consequently, their own children had to be taken away from them by the state for child-safety reasons. They lost dominion over their home, over their love lives and significantly reduced their influence over their own blood children.
Restricted Influence On Your Stepchildren
This is also true with stepchildren–stepsons and stepdaughters. Some couples who commanded great respect, admiration, and plaudits from their stepchildren lost it as a result of rejecting Dr. Forgiveness in their love lives. The laudation of their presence in the lives of the stepchildren was so overt. But this was only true when they were together. Because of hate, bitterness, and resentment, one party had to leave stepchildren who looked up to them for a new beginning. They lost positive influence which they once had over these stepchildren.
Restricted Relationship With Step Relatives:
It may not be limited to stepchildren alone, but their relatives as well. There are partners who once had extended family, by this, I mean the stepfamily relatives, with whom they had enjoyed a good, cordial relationship, and were bonded as one large family. But when their love relationship was in crisis, they rejected Dr. Forgiveness entirely, and as a result, separated from each other.
One major consequence of this separation, and which brought tears rolling down the cheeks, is the fact that one party was not only leaving the partner behind but leaving an entire extended step-relatives as well. A relationship that was so much invested in over the years came to an abrupt end because of unforgiveness. Losing a family of that magnitude is like a huge chunk of one’s life removed from you. Their influence was limited, and the dominion over their affairs restricted.
Limitation Of Success In Business:
There are others who refused to allow Dr. Forgiveness in their relationships and consequently lost business deals. Deals were no more coming because one partner resents the other. Even thriving businesses owned together were closed down because both could no longer handle things amicably together. The list goes on and on. But one major development in all this is the limitation of one’s dominion and sphere of influence.
Limitation Of Influence On Church Congregation
The limitation of dominion and sphere of influence as a result of rejecting Dr. Forgiveness even reaches the Church of God, where we see the relationship of Pastors and Leaders over God’s household affected by divorce and separation. In some cases, one partner left the congregation with all the love and admiration that came from within.
But in some other cases too, the congregation left the Pastors and Leaders who rejected Dr. Forgiveness to heal their homes and sought membership somewhere else. They lost dominion, power, and the influence they once had over their congregations but multiplied their critics.
Broken Homes, divided opinions, people taking sides, fingers pointing, and accusing, are all things that Dr. Forgiveness could have healed. Falling in love is a progressive experience that couples learn to love as they love to learn and grow together.
The Bible says that we should forgive one another with the measure of Christ’s forgiveness (Colossians 3:13). If you knew the degree at which Jesus has forgiven you or can forgive you, you would never allow unforgiveness to invade your love lives and homes.
Never reject Dr. Forgiveness, but allow it to heal your relationship with the one you love or once loved. Stay with your lover! Stay with your partner! Stay dominating! Stay influencing! Stay winning!
Tell us what you think. Leave us a comment below.
Your comment caught our attention Albue. You did the right thing above any other, which is to realize that rejecting Dr. Forgiveness wasn’t doing you any good. Life is a process of change., which includes learning, realizing, and adapting positively to the situation at hand, all for good.
But looking ahead is what really matters. And with your mentality now, it would only get better and better.
We wish you the best of luck and peace in your union. And thank you for being honest and for commenting. Have a blast day!!
Well Dr. Forgiveness is surely come and go in my relationship life. I remember rejecting him when found out that my partner (now ex) cheated on me. We start to break apart from each other, and I can’t focus on my work. That time was very hard for me, and we just… don’t see each other again after that. After a while, Dr. Forgiveness slowly knocking my door because my friends invite him again to me. I started to realize that this emotional breaking is not good for me. I start to forgive my ex and learn to accept the truth, that maybe we’re just not meant for each other.
Dr. Forgiveness can cure my heart wound. If I accept him faster, things may have been better..
You’re so right Mark, very correct. Thanks for taking your time to highlight some important points that we all need to take home. I wish you great peace within your union. Enjoy your day !
Very well put. Although you can get away with not forgiving people you may never see again, you won’t get far treating a spouse that way. This is especially true if you have children you’re trying to stay together for. At some point, a similar situation to what caused the hurt is likely to come up, either in real life or in a movie you’re all watching together, which will almost certainly flip the mood in a negative direction after dredging up the bad memories. Without forgiveness, such a relationship is doomed to keep reliving the same pain over and over again, possibly getting worse over time. Very glad you shared this. It’s a great reminder for all of us!
Yes Tolu, none is perfect. And the goal at perfection isn’t a sprint but a daily journey, and the spirit of forgiveness keeps us guided in the right direction. Thanks for the comment. It was a delight to read.
Hmmmm. It is only people who think they are perfect tha1t find it out to embrace DR forgiveness in their lives. As long as we are still here, we would always offend one another, most times not intentionally but due to misunderstanding and lack of communication. Couples should strive not to lose their dominion over their homes, kids, and stepchildren due to failing to forgive and let go. The consequences are huge. Christ Jesus frowns at unforgiveness, we must do all to avoid it. Unforgiveness is like driving with the handbrake on…. there is a limit you can go forward with this. What do you think?
Truly, to forgive is really to heal. You said it well. Thanks for the comment, Hanna, and remain blessed.
Great article forgiveness, thanks for sharing!
To forgive is very powerful. I know it is hard to forgive someone especially if that someone has hurt you emotionally and physically. It is hard because you came to a point that you resent that person so much.
According to your article, unforgiveness affect so much almost everthing around you. From your relationship to your own family, to your business, and even to the whole congregation or community. It can even affect opportunities because of unforgiveness.
I`m glad you mentioned forgiveness as a doctor (someone who can treat or heal you). It is a good connotation just to show people that to forgive is really to heal.
Thank you again for your post!
Life really is school in itself, we regret less if we keep moving forward. I am glad to read your comment, even more because of your new relationship. Thanks to Dr. Forgiveness indeed. I wish you lots of peace and joy in the years ahead. Thanks for commenting.
In my 52 years, I have been through a few ups and downs in my life. The thoughts of the events over the past 9 years really come out after. Dr. Forgiveness would have been a good visitor during my divorce proceedings. However, unforgiveness has been pretty much the entire part of my divorce.
Everything unforgiving has come to light. From the start of the divorce to the present time. The life my ex put me through from the lies to withholding my boys from me. I can never forgive her and the only time I even engage her is when it is related to the boys. To this day she still withholds information.
As my life has gone on, I am currently in a good relationship. My girlfriend has a daughter that has some only kid syndrome behaviors. This is when Dr. Forgivness comes into play with myself and the boys.
Thanks to Dr. Forgiveness out mixed family works well. We have done week-long vacations. Another vacation we were in different hotel rooms for a few days. Things seem to work great with separation at night and Dr. Forgiveness during the day.
After reading this and thinking about how my last 9 years have gone. Thinks make sense at times and are totally confusing at others.
Vapz, I enjoyed reading through your comment. When we say that “unforgiveness limits people”, we are saying it limits people’s love potential. And this might affect almost every other area of life. But It’s not a limitation of your life that you can live life again, I mean. There are people who lived good lives and died without having forgiven those they should have forgiven!
Although you didn’t feel anything like it, you knew you were hurt, right? I would want to believe also that, although you went about your biz, you still didn’t interact with that same fellow who hurt you. Or if you did, not as you used do or it used to be. Am I correct? If that is true, it’s has had an effect on you, therefore. No matter how small it might have seemed.
There are many types of forgiveness, but the one that hurts and limits the most is the relational type. If the one who hurt you as you said above was a relational type, meaning the one you were once Close or in love with, it’s either because you loved him so much that the pain did not really matter. that’s fine. He even owes you no apologies for you to carry on with affairs of life. that’s very right and you deserves some plaudit in that context.
But if you were “supposedly” in love and he hurt you and you knew it but you didn’t feel or do anything, but went about your biz as usual. To be candid, you weren’t fully in love, I think. Please, I’m talking in the context of love because that was the subject matter.
Out of the subject matter, you can carry on with life easily when hurt without forgiving anyone so far as the person is very far from you. But when you have a relationship with the hurter and you see him very often, that’s when it hurts emotionally which is very undesirable. please read again the article if you have some time. It would come alive again to you.
Finally, forgiveness should be organic and never coerced. You cannot force anyone to forgive and like you said, it’s a process to heal before comes the forgiving act, you’re right! So right! Thanks for your comments and stay blessed !
As much as I am for forgiveness, especially when the hurting person feels like it, I have been looking for who to ask this question. When people say “unforgiveness limits people”, I would like to know, in what way exactly? I have had times that I was hurt by a person and didn’t feel like forgiving at the time and I wasn’t bothered in anyway,I went about my activities normally.
So, I would urge people to learn to forgive but I also think we shouldn’t blackmail people into forgiveness. Let them go through the process of being hurt, talk over it with the person who hurt them and start the healing process before the forgiveness comes. When we keep telling people to just forgive,offenders begin to feel an entitlement to being forgiven. They hurt other people with the mindset that the person has no choice but to forgive them. And this is bad in my opinion.
Great read though, a mentally and emotionally mature couple would always be a blessing to the society. Thanks for sharing.
Your are on point Topaz. You couldn’t have said that better ! Thanks for taking the time to comment. Wishing you a continued success !
What a great and an enlightening article. There are some really good nuggets of wisdom in this article, so thank you for writing and sharing this. I think one of the biggest lessons in here is the power of forgiving and forgetting, because broken homes, divided opinions, people taking sides, fingers pointing and accusing, are all things that Dr. Forgiveness could have healed.
I will love to say as mentioned in the article, it is good to accept Dr. Forgiveness as to keeping the positives more than the negatives because it’s important to uplift and encourage your spouse in order to bring out the best in them, and other levels of relationship. It is really detrimental living without Dr. forgiveness. Good job man.
Thanks so much, Vincent, for the comment. Yes we shall keep spreading nothing but the truth. We do appreciate !
It’s true that forgiveness will bring healing to you. If you are unwilling to forgive, it is you who get hurt instead of the other person. It will bring bad fruits in your life and you will not be able to function well as long as you this hurt in your heart. Great post, by the way. I hope that you continue to spread the truth with other people.
So glad stacie to hear that you allowed Dr Forgiveness earlier in the marriage, and it work for you. To not go to bed angry is a very good one to keep in mind. You are truly a blessing and I wish you more peaceful and fruitful life with your family. Thank you so much for the comment.
This is a wonderful article!
I was married for 25 wonderful years, and without Dr. Forgiveness we would have never made it past 5 of them.
People make each other mad, and trust me, even in what seems to be the perfect marriage, that couple gets mad at each other too. They just understand that Dr. Forgiveness has to come into play or they will resent each other versus love each other.
I always loved the statement, “Don’t go to bed angry with your spouse.” It is the best advice, you sleep better and wake up feeling better too. I have done this both ways and I know from experience.
I hope you reach a lot of young couples with this article, or anyone that needs to understand the power of forgiveness. I am going to share it with my friends for sure.
Thanks for a great read.
Stacie
Very true Heidi. The differences make them special, and the golden rule helps a lot in cases as such. Thanks for that insights. Enjoy your day.
This is a breath a fresh air! I feel so many people are so quick to judge each other rather than support one another. And quit rather than fix or work it out. We are all made so different but yet all the same. The differences in people is what makes p so special. We should try learn from each other and be more understanding. We must remember acceptance, forgiveness and to follow the golden rule which is “Do onto others as you would have done onto you.” Thank you for this!!