Faking You Is Hurting You – How To Love Self

Faking You Is Hurting You- How To Love Self


A man once told me that he fell in love with a pretty lady with whom he had a 3-year sex-free date. But the relationship abruptly ended the night he proposed to her, which was the same night they had their first and last coital intimacy. What happened? He discovered that “Faking You Is Hurting You.”

He recounted the tale as walking toward home one evening when he saw the lady and loved her physical features. The features he described as “Full Options” and “Figure Eight” beauty. These phrases, according to him, referred to the way she was bodily built. She was gorgeous to behold. And with Her boobs well protruded, her butts and hips ravishing, his imaginations were captured. Her bodily attributes were what attracted him to date the lady.

Let me come in and say, attraction shouldn’t, in any case, be based on the physical level alone. I do not mean that the physical can’t attract a person to someone special. It might but isn’t enough to keep the person with you. The physical might attract love, but it’s the mind that keeps the love.

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The purposes of this writing are to show you how to love self, and to promote healthy relationships that aren’t based solely on lust. Lust is of the physical, of the flesh, of the body alone. And although it can attract someone, it cannot keep that person for a long term relationship

Even though this gentleman fell for external beauty, he still behaved himself. He was kind and self-controlled, respectful, and planned for a future together with her. But all of his plans were based on a false premise.

When he proposed to her and had coital cognizance of her, the relationship came crushing abruptly. They broke out of love after the proposal. As I listened, I was wondering where the problem could have come from, until he mentioned: “She was everything but what I wanted.

He said that the lady was fake all along. Her buttocks were fake. Her breasts too weren’t real. She constantly wore fake booty that gave her a very attractive shape, when actually she had a very tiny, and small butt. Her breasts were also padded to look bigger for three years. But that night he realized that the breasts were very thin and saggy. In addition, she usually wore fancy headgears and wigs on their dates, but on their first night in bed, it became clear to him that she had no hair. She was completely bald. What a nightmare!

After the encounter, silence filled the partially lit room, as no one talked to each other. I can only imagine what went through their minds at that moment.

The young man, on the one hand, could have been ruminating on the past, mentally analyzing what he had seen and envisaged for the past three years as opposed to what he just felt and saw which didn’t meet his expectations. He might have thought to himself: “Where is the butt that I used to know? Where are those hips? What happened to her bazooms that were so full of flesh? What happened to those long and curly hairs I used to see?”

The lady, on the other hand, might have questioned the reasons for his long silence. However, she wasn’t unconscious when she was telling so many lies over the years. It’s shocking for couples to date for three years only to realize that they didn’t really know the ones they thought they knew.

The proposal that was meant to be the beginning of a new era of love, became the end of a love experience wrapped up in lies. Their intimacy exposed the falsity of the 3-year romance saga. A saga which was a pack of lies. He had come to an awakening that he was living and imagining a lie. What he had pictured, fantasied, and craved for 3-years didn’t really exist.

Morals To Keep In Mind

1. Loving Yourself Is Accepting You For Who You Are

God created you special. You truly matter. A mentally healthy life begins with self-acceptance. You accepting ‘Yourself’ in its entirety. To love yourself is to accept who you truly are without faking it. You accept all the features with which you were created by God.

If God gave you small or big boobs, love it, cherish it, and be happy with it; short or long legs, love them, cherish them, and be happy with them. In short! Just be You. Your potential husband or lover would find you just as you are and come for you.

2. Love Yourself First And Others Would Love You For That

You must be happy with yourself in order to attract happiness. You must love your body, your physical features for others to love them as well. You cannot hate yourself and ask people to love the body that you hate. If you hate yourself, you emit a negative vibe that others around your circle would respond to.

In our case study, this lady hated her bodily features and hid them from him for 3 years. But when it was discovered, the same hate vibes of self that made up her daily aura was what she received. The same body of hers which she had a deep repugnance for, was also the body her potential husband had a deep repugnance for as well.

3. Love Yourself First To Present A Better Version Of Yourself

Be careful of the version of yourself that you sell to the public. What images of yourself are you creating that people do see? What kind of public relations are you developing? A positive or negative one? If you don’t love yourself, you would sell to others another version of yourself which isn’t’ true nor sustainable in the near future.

In our case study, the lady didn’t love herself that much as to present herself the way she really was. But she went to sell another version of herself which was false, and unsustainable. There’s nothing wrong with loving your body. Beauty comes in different shapes and sizes. You just have to love yourself well enough to present to others the version of yourself which you love. There’s nothing to hide when you love yourself. Be YOU!

4. Loving Yourself Is God’s New Commandment

It’s the Lord and not a man who really said to love one another as we love ourselves. In this commandment, however, you must understand that to love one another, you have to love yourself first. Loving others is second to loving yourself. Shall we read it together? “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” As what? AS YOU LOVE YOURSELF (Mark 12:31). So “Yourself” comes first before your “Neighbor.” You cannot love another person well without having loved yourself first.

5. Loving Yourself Is What God Expects of You

God believes in you and expects you to love the very self that He gave you, first and foremost. It’s nobody else’s responsibility to love YOU but yours alone. If you are not happy with yourself, it’s hard for anyone to do that for you. The help that comes from others would only counsel you to love YOU. Others may counsel, but they can’t take your place in loving You as you can. Because no one knows You as you know yourself.

6. Be Truthful About Yourself To Your Partner

Couples in a genuine relationship deserve to know the truth about each other. If you cannot tell the truth about yourself to our own spouse or potential spouse, he or she would still find out within a short period, anyways. And to let them discover the truth by themselves might not be favorable to the longevity of the union. The life span of any lie is short.

7. External Physical Features Do Not Determine Your Internal Joy

The fact that you are good-looking, and have a better physique, are rich or influential, is no assurance that you would be happy in life. Your looks, your bodily features, whether fat or thin, aren’t what make you happy or predict your happiness. Your happiness comes from within you, from an internal atmosphere that is always beautiful. We all know that the blind are happy, the lame, the deaf and dumb are still happy, irrespective of their physical disabilities. Their defection does not predict their joy.

On the contrary, the rich still feels frustrated and commits suicide. Princes and Princesses still feel sad and miserable. Don’t seek for external beauty as a search for peace and happiness. You would be frustrated.

8. Don’t Hide From Your Partner Any Child / Children You Had Before You People Met

Anyone who looks forward to becoming a spouse is desiring a long term relationship free from embarrassment and surprises. Children, whether born in or out of wedlock, are always part of the family and deserve all the love and social protection from their parents. Do not lie to your partner about your child/children which you already had prior meeting them. Tell them at the onset of the union. If they love you, they would love your children as well.

9. Do Not Hide From Your Partner Any Bodily Structural Defect

Any deformation of your body structure, whether genetic or by accident, should be communicated to your partner. Let the person who intends to stay with you for life know about it. Don’t hide artificial limbs– arm or leg. Or eyes, facial burns, artificial implants or surgeries, which would require constant medical attention as life goes on.

You can conceal them from the public, but not from the love of your life. Your life partner has the right to know the truth about you. After all, he or she would be the one to be at your side when you need help. And such times wouldn’t be convenient for your partner to find out about your infirmities.

10. Don’t Hide From Your Partner Any Invisible Infection / Condition That Requires Constant Medical Attention

Any Infection, internal medical condition that cannot be detected physically, but that makes you ill from time to time or that requires constant medical assistance to manage, should be communicated to the love of your life. This includes inherited diseases, and things like anemia, HIV Aids, cancer, lack of womb, inability to procreate, etc. Don’t hide it from them. No! Tell them! If they really love you, they will never let you down or reject you when you open up. But if they do reject you, it’s a good sign also. Now you know they weren’t for you in the first place. The earlier you know this the better.

11. Stop Faking You To Clear The Way For You

When you stop faking it, those who are attracted to your ‘Fakeness’ would leave you and clear the way for those who search for your genuineness to locate you. Should a man be attracted to your bigger butts only to find out that the butts were fake butts attached to your apparel? Should he be attracted to your voluptuous and curvaceous figure only to find out that they were fake and just part of your habiliments? No !

if you aren’t happy with any part of your body, you should work on it. It’s never justified to fake something in order to deceive others. If you feel too fat to your liking, you might want to check your diet, or consider joining a fitness program, or use products like slim oils, slim teas and teas which detoxify the body.

There are also fat burners, slim fast drinks for women, and men alike, and its dispenser. You can do weight loss which involves the training or self-training and programs, with tools to track your progress. You can build your own personal gym or fitness environment at home with your sport wears/gears and comfortable trainers.

Some people choose to go through surgery for Butt Implants. While others go for Fake Butts, use Butt Enhancement Creams, Butt Enhancement Oil, Hip Enhancer, Butt Lifter, Padded Waist, Girdle Control Panties, etc.

Butt Enhancement with natural products has long-term results when the instructions are followed carefully. Some other people go for Breast Push-Ups or Firming, or use  Exotic Bras, Breast Enhancement Creams, or Breast Padding, or even prefer to wear Fake Breasts and make use of Breast Pumps.

In addition, some ladies go for Wigs, whether Black or White, Long or Short. Whether Blond or Curly; Brazilian, Indian, or Peruvian Hair. And last but not least is the Eyelashes Category.

Whatever you decide is your choice and responsibility. The artificial kinds of stuff aren’t bad in themselves, but the motives behind them could be misleading. Some of these artificial objects are medically prescribed and used in the right circumstance which is very okay.

For example, someone who damaged or lost his set of teeth could be prescribed Dentures to replace them by a dentist. Dentures are the artificial sets of teeth that are removable. Other types are the fixed bridges and the permanent implants that help whoever needs them in order to carry out normal daily living.

Dental implants are increasingly becoming a popular alternative to dentures and bridges. And are performed by dentists who opt for professional dental equipment. In some case, only tooth whitening or repair is just what is required to gain your confidence and smiles back. But you should use the right whitening products which are clinically certified like these here.

So these are all some valid cases for fake organs to help you live a normal life again. But if you don’t need them, don’t have them. And among the varied motives, none should be to deceive your would-be spouse. Because that’s the person you intend to live with.

Be truthful, the truth always pays and sets free (John 8:32). Be yourself! Love yourself! Be happy with how God created you! And be YOU Always!

Tell us at the comment section below what you think about being fake and/or using fake organs. Has ‘Faking You’ ever hurt you?


About the author

A music journalist, writer, and member of a great team of Relationship Experts. Carlos also serves as the site administrator.