How Realistic Is Expecting Sex All The Time? - Sex In Marriage

How Realistic Is Expecting Sex All The Time? – Sex In Marriage



How realistic is expecting sex all the time?

How Realistic Is Expecting Sex All The Time? - Sex In MarriageAs women, we have been admonished to ensure we satisfy our husbands all the time whether you are up for it or not. Just do it for him our mothers will say so he doesn’t look outside (which means get another wife or mistress). Our lives as African women depended on satisfying our husbands at all times which would have been OK if some of our husbands were considerate enough to understand us. After all the Scripture says in First Corinthians chapter seven and the fourth verse (7:4) that, “The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.

The body of a woman goes through hormonal changes and for a woman, sex begins in the mind. Our bodies do not react to sex as the men who can be triggered by mere sight, but our testosterone reaction is merely a whisper. Our body relies on an emotional connection with our partner and our ability to imagine and fantasize about the sweetness of sex with our partner.

For a woman, not every physical touch should end in sex. Women want to be loved by their partners, played with, pampered, romanced, respected, and teased, that way, they are relaxed enough to be vulnerable to their partners. Sex for a woman also means love, which is her way of saying I honor you with my body. Little wonder some women withhold sex from their partners when upset and feeling out of love.

Sex for a woman means surrendering all, the reason they can’t deliver willingly if they are mistreated by their partners. Coupled with the fact that they go through a whole lot of hormonal changes such as monthly periods, childbirth, and physical body changes, which make sex even less interesting, especially with a husband that isn’t understanding.

With physical changes after childbirth comes a period where most women feel less attractive and may not be in a state to surrender all. In these moments, the women require a reassurance that it’s a phase and this too shall pass. Unfortunately, most men do not pay attention enough to understand what their wives are going through (which of course differs from woman to woman).

How Realistic Is Expecting Sex All The Time? - Sex In MarriageIt is assumed that once you are married, you should be ready at all times to satisfy your husband whether you are up for it or not. Your body belongs to your husband, they say, you mustn’t refuse him.

Will it then be realistic to expect sex from a woman all the time irrespective of the changes her body undergoes at certain times? Wouldn’t it be unfair that the man is compared to the woman forgetting their differences in biology? I would say “kudos” to men who take their time to understand their women and treat them with love and empathy. Such men get more than their fair share of sex because women would gladly sacrifice to a man who treats them well just to please them.

I have heard women plan to have sex out of pity for their husbands just to keep them sane and make them happy even when they are not in the mood. That tells me that a happy woman would likely do anything for a husband. So instead of men lording it over with their women over sex, a little understanding and compassion would help the situation.

Conversations would also open up the reason a woman is refusing sex at certain times and please be sure that first of all, you are on the same libido level with the woman in the first place because that’s a different kettle of fish for another day!

What’s your take?


Authored By BeeCee Ugboh for © 2020. All rights reserved.

BeeCee Ugboh



About the author

Beecee Ugboh is a relationship expert, a life coach and educationist. She's a Co-host of "Your View" morning show at TVC Communications.
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We much appreciate your thoughts on the article, Sheddy. Stay safe.

Sheddy Ovb

Hello Dear, a big thanks to you for sharing this insightful and amazing article on how realistic it is expecting sex all the time in marriage. I think this article should be a must-see by married couples, Sex is a very important factor in marriage, it has been from the onset and it’s very Paramount for there to be a mutual understanding between partners. I have learned something for myself, and will recommend this article to a friend of mine, he really needs to see this. Thank you again, Beecee for sharing your take on such a concerned topic.


Your view was a great read. Thanks, Pen. Stay safe.


Great points especially when it comes to expectations after child birth. In the end, regardless of our influences from a book such as the Bible, it’s up to the individual to act according to what he in this case deems prudent. Respect should be a foundation of marriage and the Bible has teachings, many of which are implied meanings and don’t necessarily have to be taken literally. Balance is the key to a happy marriage and absolutely love and empathy go a long way in maintaining happiness. Your post is excellent in that it puts a pretty sensitive topic into perspective, touches on all the right points and ends with an important question. Well done and I’m looking forward to reading more!


Thanks, Rika for sharing your view. Please stay safe.


In my opinion, the problem starts when women are not sexually satisfied by their husbands. Now you have a problem. Should you tell him or not.  Some men don’t take this news very well. It also depends on how long have you been faking it.

This can become a really tricky situation, but there is a perfect solution for it.

Women should learn to communicate any issues they have from the start with the men in their lives and encourage open communication. Maybe this can be established even before you start a serious relationship with someone.

Just my opinion, but I know it’s not possible for everyone. We live in a diverse world with many traditions and certain things are a taboo.

Would love your thoughts, please comment.x