How realistic is expecting sex all the time?
As women, we have been admonished to ensure we satisfy our husbands all the time whether you are up for it or not. Just do it for him our mothers will say so he doesn’t look outside (which means get another wife or mistress). Our lives as African women depended on satisfying our husbands at all times which would have been OK if some of our husbands were considerate enough to understand us. After all the Scripture says in First Corinthians chapter seven and the fourth verse (7:4) that, “The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.“
The body of a woman goes through hormonal changes and for a woman, sex begins in the mind. Our bodies do not react to sex as the men who can be triggered by mere sight, but our testosterone reaction is merely a whisper. Our body relies on an emotional connection with our partner and our ability to imagine and fantasize about the sweetness of sex with our partner.
For a woman, not every physical touch should end in sex. Women want to be loved by their partners, played with, pampered, romanced, respected, and teased, that way, they are relaxed enough to be vulnerable to their partners. Sex for a woman also means love, which is her way of saying I honor you with my body. Little wonder some women withhold sex from their partners when upset and feeling out of love.
Sex for a woman means surrendering all, the reason they can’t deliver willingly if they are mistreated by their partners. Coupled with the fact that they go through a whole lot of hormonal changes such as monthly periods, childbirth, and physical body changes, which make sex even less interesting, especially with a husband that isn’t understanding.
With physical changes after childbirth comes a period where most women feel less attractive and may not be in a state to surrender all. In these moments, the women require a reassurance that it’s a phase and this too shall pass. Unfortunately, most men do not pay attention enough to understand what their wives are going through (which of course differs from woman to woman).
It is assumed that once you are married, you should be ready at all times to satisfy your husband whether you are up for it or not. Your body belongs to your husband, they say, you mustn’t refuse him.
Will it then be realistic to expect sex from a woman all the time irrespective of the changes her body undergoes at certain times? Wouldn’t it be unfair that the man is compared to the woman forgetting their differences in biology? I would say “kudos” to men who take their time to understand their women and treat them with love and empathy. Such men get more than their fair share of sex because women would gladly sacrifice to a man who treats them well just to please them.
I have heard women plan to have sex out of pity for their husbands just to keep them sane and make them happy even when they are not in the mood. That tells me that a happy woman would likely do anything for a husband. So instead of men lording it over with their women over sex, a little understanding and compassion would help the situation.
Conversations would also open up the reason a woman is refusing sex at certain times and please be sure that first of all, you are on the same libido level with the woman in the first place because that’s a different kettle of fish for another day!
What’s your take?
Authored By BeeCee Ugboh for Smartcouples.net © 2020. All rights reserved.