The 4 Things You Must Not Accept To Get Married
In our former teaching titled, “The Reasons Not To Get Married,” we talked about some reasonable factors to avoid getting married. In this article titled, the 4 Things You Must Not Accept To Get Married, we shall discuss some aspects for which alone do not make a good foundation for marriage. The reason is to help couples see beyond their current situations and consider other options for making their relationships stronger and sustainable even at moments of crisis. That being said, let’s get to the first of The 4 Things You Must Not Accept To Get Married.
1. Because You Mistakenly Got Pregnant For Him
You Must Not Accept To Get Married Because You Mistakenly Got Pregnant For Him. It’s always a good thing to be pregnant for someone you call a husband or an aspiring one. People also would want to advise partners who are expecting a child out of wedlock to cement and consolidate their relationship to that of husband and wife. While it’s a good idea to want to marry the father of your child/children, it must be said that being pregnant for him shouldn’t be the sole reason to want to marry him. It’s like the pregnancy coerces your actions irrespective of other factors.
Marriage without any kind of foundation can be very painful to cope with. And being pregnant for someone is never a foundation for marriage. I have seen teenagers got married just for the same reason. Someone impregnated their daughter and the parents of the daughter forced the man to marry her in order to hide what they considered as shameful to their family.
With the level of knowledge and exposure that we have today, it’s unwise to have to marry someone just because he got you pregnant whether intentionally or as a result of a mistake. What if those involved aren’t independent themselves? To impregnate a girl doesn’t mean you can take care of her. Or that you are responsible.
You can be pregnant for a person who doesn’t love you. Being pregnant is not a sign that he loves you. The pregnancy could have been a mistake. A mistake on his part because he never had you in mind as becoming a wife one day. Or he wanted just a one-night stand but it resulted in that. Or he was playing with your heart. At times, he wasn’t just ready for you to have a child for him.
On the other hand, it could have been your mistake too because you gave in to someone who you don’t know at all, or had just met for the first time. Or maybe, it was an illegal affair that took place under the roof of your parents and exposed you out. Or because you weren’t ready for it and had never discussed it with him. It could also have been that you forced yourself on someone who didn’t love you or someone who was abusive.
Consider All Options
There are a lot of factors to consider marrying a person who impregnated you other than the fact that you are pregnant. Since the pregnancy wasn’t planned, don’t be forced to tie yourself and destiny to a person just because of that.
We do not by this advocate for single parenting. Although single parenting is better than being in an abusive relationship. However, there is more to marriage than just having children. Marriage is a matter for life and pregnancy is an experience just for nine months. After the pregnancy, a lot could change since you had no plans of getting and staying together beyond the pregnancy.
If the pregnancy is a mistake, date him more to know him well. Discuss the responsibilities of having children to see if you are ready or not. In any case, pregnancy is not a foundation for marriage and cannot sustain marriage alone. Think twice before you marry someone who got you pregnant by mistake.
2. Because Of Family Pressures
You Must Not Accept To Get Married Because Of Family Pressures. Family pressure is another factor that makes you wanna marry when you are not ready. This can come from parents, siblings, and relatives telling you that you are getting old and should consider marrying. Or that you should marry someone from a particular background or race or someone who has money and can help the family.
Whatever their proposals, or reasons, one thing which they would never consider is whether you love the person or idea. They would want to know everything but how you feel about the man or woman they force on you. Whether you’re in love with someone else is inconsequential to them. The parents usually wouldn’t consider love as an option. You just have to do as they suggest you do.
In another setting, the parents remind their adult children that they want to hear the sound of grandchildren within the home. Implying that they get married and give birth to children. This undue pressure makes some people rush into marriage prematurely and marry the wrong partners. Let consensual adults decide for themselves what is good for them. Parents can only advise and not pressure children to marry.
3. Because Of Pity
One of the 4 Things You Must Not Accept To Get Married is Out Of Pity. There are men who marry ladies because they pity their situations and think that by marrying them, their lives would be better. At least, better than the conditions in which they were found. Those who advocate this line of thought take advantage of girls in poverty-stricken homes and in difficult situations. They think that marrying such ladies is doing them a favor.
It even gets worse when some parents use their children to pay debts owed by marrying them off to their creditors. Yes, money is good, improving one’s social status is not a bad thing, but using young girls as a means to achieve this is wrong. Parents shouldn’t allow their children to get into matrimonial homes out of pity than the right motives for marriage.
4. Because Of Power And Fame
You Must Not Accept To Get Married Because Of Power And Fame. There are some people who want to marry just because of fame and power but not of love. Some royalty marriages over the years have had serious issues because spouses who were Princes and Princesses from royal families came together in order to maintain a level of power passed down by their ancestors.
Some Kings even give their daughters to other Kings just to maintain political ties and a good working relationship with the family and kingdom of a particular king. They do not even consider if those that they are trying to join together in marriage love each other. Arrange marriages are what they practice and it has gone like this for centuries.
Another example is with celebrity marriages where stars only desire to marry stars alone. They believe that since they are stars, their spouses must be stars and don’t consider people from a lesser background, even if a perfect match might come from there.
This line of thought also is not always right, because an elite’s life partner may not be of the same social class but have a very blessed marriage. While those who are all elites can marry but the marriage doesn’t last a year or marry to partners having zero compatibility.
Celebrity marriages sometimes do not work out at all, and they have a growing number of divorce cases. You would think as brilliant as some celebrities are, that they would discern and make the right marital choices for themselves. But in very many cases, this is not the case, and their relationships do not last long enough. It does not inspire at all.
The idea of having a particular famous person who must belong to a known class for a spouse is in itself troubling. Because fame alone is not a reason for getting married. Even if you are famous and rich, marriage goes deeper than that and needs other factors to sustain it and make it work. Money and fame can not buy love. Don’t you think so?
In conclusion, we have talked about The 4 Things You Must Not Accept To Get Married as being power and fame, out of pity, family pressure, and finally, being pregnant by reason of mistake.
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