The Lousy Reasons For Cheating In A Relationship, Part Two - Marriage And Relationships

The Lousy Reasons For Cheating In A Relationship, Part Two – Marriage And Relationships

The Lousy Reasons For Cheating In A Relationship, Part Two – Marriage And Relationships

 

The Lousy Reasons For Cheating In A Relationship, Part Two - Marriage And RelationshipsIn continuation of our previous teaching on the subject of cheating, which you can find by clicking here, we bring to you the concluding part which is titled, “the lousy reasons for cheating in a relationship, part two – marriage and relationship.

Our main aim is to let you know that these practices aren’t acceptable or morally right, although it happens. Furthermore, it’s good to know that it’s avoidable; that one can curb its practice or stop it entirely to turn a new page in any relationship. Without much ado, the next lousy reason for cheating is:

1. Because They Attribute The Fault To Satan

The Lousy Reasons For Cheating In A Relationship, Part Two - Marriage And RelationshipsHave you heard about someone caught cheating and all he or she could say is to blame the devil? You weren’t raped but willingly committed adultery or cheated on your partner and when you were caught, all you could say is that it was the devil.

The devil and God aren’t a match, and never equal in all ramifications. However, these two spiritual entities are the most blamed of all woes on earth. Whatever evil that happens, either you hear, it’s the devil’s fault or ‘God why?!’ You can’t blame the devil for something you decided to do and enjoyed doing.

You see, God created humans with volition, I mean that faculty or ability to decide and choose for yourself. Volition is what makes humans powerful than animals. God Himself who created volition respects it in humans. He does not force anyone to do anything for Him or accepts His divine offers. Even with the works of Jesus on the cross–His death and resurrection.

God still appeals to people to accept the offer in Jesus by willingly believing in Him whenever one wants. The premise is “whoever believes shall be saved” (John 3:16). It’s not by force to believe in Jesus. Although God is almighty and has the power to force you to, He still respects your volition and allows everyone to freely choose Jesus.

Similarly, the devil or Satan cannot force you to obey him, he also appeals to your mind with his lies. Nobody can be forced by Satan to do something against their will, except for spiritual possession. When we say “NO” to Satan, he respects the “NO” and leaves to try another time with his lies.

Obedience to God or the devil is a choice that we consciously make whether to yield to one or the other. So stop saying that it’s the devil’s fault whenever you sexually erred. It only exposes your ignorance and irresponsibility.

2. Because The Perpetrator Plays The Dumb and Victim

The Lousy Reasons For Cheating In A Relationship, Part Two - Marriage And RelationshipsHave you heard someone caught cheating who said, “Sorry, It’s not what you think! Or I don’t know what came over me?!” They go even further telling the one they hurt that they can explain.

This is another lousy reason some people give for excusing their act of cheating. When they are caught cheating, they usually play the victim who didn’t plan it but at the spur of the moment, they did it. Usually, they act as the one who does not know what came over him, as someone pushed into doing what was against their wish.

They would try to pacify you whom they have hurt to believe their stories which may sound like they never wanted to do it, or they were in a very compromised situation that they couldn’t think properly… Before you knew it, it just happened… Blah blah blah. In all attempts to justify their position, they still don’t make any sense.

3. Because Of Financial Problems

Some couples cheat on each other because of the lack of money. That’s also called prostitution. I have realized that some ladies are forced into this because that’s what puts food on their table, on the one hand. And on the other hand, some ladies and men too are into this because of the love of material things and the love of money.

I’ve just mentioned two things here. The lack of money, and the love of money and material things. The former is for survival while the latter is just avarice. Both of which are wrong, anyway. While one is doing it shamefully but hoping to leave it behind, the other finds joy in it and is proudly doing it.

There’s even an extreme and troubling case where the husband discusses and agrees with the wife to engage in prostitution. Both the husband and wife are aware that the wife does prostitution by night or day and comes back home to her husband. Hard to stomach, isn’t it? BUT IT HAPPENS.

Although there’s a mutual agreement in what she does, she still cheats on her husband with each man that uses her. The husband, by virtue of such agreement, is licensed to cheat on her with whomever he desires. And such acts destroy the bonding with marital relationships.

4. Because Of Selfish Motive

Selfish motive can cause cheating too but this one is relative. A selfish motive is all about one partner and what one can get out of the marriage.

To some, it could be material things, money, fame or power. And to others, something personal whether good or bad.

When you are desperate to have someone, you can do anything, sometimes, silly things just to get it. When you want something from someone and use love to work your way through, there is the possibility that you would find another love interest when your goal isn’t achieved. And even when it’s achieved, there will be a trust issue lingering.

It is hard at times to trust people in a relationship with ulterior motives. They usually have plenty of options and can move from one to another.

5. Because They Want To Make A Point Or Statement

There’s a saying, “An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth” which some partners run with it in a love relationship. When one cheats and is caught, the other takes revenge by cheating as well. This is one of the lousy reasons for cheating in a relationship. You cannot commit adultery because your partner committed adultery. No! Two wrongs do not make it right. An eye for an eye makes the whole nation blind. It makes the family go blind.

The Lousy Reasons For Cheating In A Relationship, Part Two - Marriage And RelationshipsAdultery has consequences that burden the family. The consequence of adultery brought by the husband affects the family. The wife who should be the source of remedy aggravated the situation by committing another act of adultery, therefore, importing more consequences into the family leaving the situation worse than it was. So you see that the reason for cheating was quite regrettable.

The “do me I do you” experience is not for couples. It has no place in a relationship which is all about love, forgiveness, and building on positive vibes. Learn to think of the consequences of your actions if you are acting in reprisal. Reprisal actions are usually anger motivated and most times, they aren’t in accordance with reason or logic. They just lack a healthy rationale behind the actions. Finally, it’s good to end by citing an admonition from the Bible which says, “In your anger, do not sin” (Ephesians 4:26).

In recapitulation, we have said that the lousy reasons for cheating in a relationship are because of Satan, because they play dumb and victim, because of selfish motive, because they want to make a point, and because of financial issues.

Tell us, Is there any lousy reason you know that couples give for cheating on their partners? What have you learned from this article that can help your relationship get even better?

 

To read part One of the article, click here

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About the author

Verra is a journalist, a gospel singer, a relationship expert and the site editor.
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Bai Asha

Hello Verra, cheating is never a good experience no matter the sweet coating we give it. The consequence of adultery affects the whole family. Everybody suffers as a result. When it brings divorce, the family splits and it goes on and on. My advice is whatever the reason, cheating isn’t good at all. We should stop behaving like animals and call it what it is. Thanks for writing again to the hearts. 

Kozakiv

There is a big difference in understanding cheating and some definitions that exist, and it seems that different people make different conclusions about these topics. For some, fraud is physically involved in sex with other people. Anything less than that is not counted as cheating, and neither can it. Other people think that it is a romantic nature to cheat, and which should be reserved only for a partner, even if it does not imply sexual intercourse. Cheating can be direct, can be implied, can be sexual, can be nonsexual, can be flirting and many other things. But whatever it is it’s still wrong to cheat even if without sex. all of the spouse belongs to all of the spouse, whether verbal or non-verbal. thanks for the article.

Tashibaarzu

First of all, I would like to thank you for a great article about Lucy Causes Of Cheating In Relationships – Part Two – Marriage And Relationships that you have shared with us.

Truly your article is educational and what caught me by surprise was that people actually blame the devil for their cheating? Never really thought about that. That’s the height of irresponsibility. Great article and I will share it with my family and friends, hope you don’t mind. Thanks for the eye-opening article.

 

Rodarrick

You cannot have gotten this more perfectly than the way you have here. In fact, I’m delighted you shared this here. There was a time when my girlfriend cheated on me and I caught her and the only thing she said Was she was deviant and also tried to play victim that I caused it for her to go and cheat. I was really pained and henceforth, I really stopped loving her. Thanks for this

John

Hello Verra, This is one very sensitive but enlightening topic – The Lousy Reasons For Cheating In A Relationship.

I think the lousiest reason couples give is “the devil made me do it!” Or “I don’t know what came over me!” I believe selfish motives drive people to actions like this, because when the individual isn’t thinking about the feelings of the partner, when he isn’t worried about how hurt the partner might feel, he tends to go into actions that ultimately lead to heartbreak and breakup.

You gave lists of reasons couples give when they cheat. Could you please in future articles highlight how this act IG adultery can be avoided? Because I believe that if people learn to love more, they’ll tend to hurt feelings less.

Fluffy Duck Studios

Hi Verra, I came across your article on unfaithful relationships and was enthralled. Do people really blame the Devil for their relationship going south?  Seems like a cop-out to me and not wanting to face up to the reality of the situation or its consequences.

I’m always concerned about toxic relationships when children are involved and often wonder what long-term effects a cheating parent will have on their emotional and mental stability.  Do you have any advice for a parent who might be in this situation and how they could protect themselves and their children from a cheating partner/parent? Are there any dos or donts in emotionally-charged circumstances like these?

Fahim Shahriar Sakib

Hey there! Your article was just great. Every thing you said in your article is very much true words. 

Financial problems leads towards prostitution, idea is great. But in this situation, couples must be patient and have faith in each other. I think this is not even a problem if there is true love. But this is where the couples lag.

I also think that husband and wife both should support each other what ever they want. But most of the time it is seen that wife sacrifices a lot but husbands don’t even care. And thus, a selfish motive is created.

Matiss

I really loved the read. And I would like to share my immediate thoughts on it.

As for the first, as I see it, I think it’s a coping mechanism. Mainly because the one who cheated can’t see himself cheating or despises that action at its very core. And so to not lose his/her identity that is tied to his ego (which all of us subconsciously protect) he/she must rationalize it, however, stupid the supposed justification is. I mean, it’s essentially a defense mechanism for not losing one’s face. A miserable one (and I definitely agree with volition and everything). But one created by the mind to preserve yourself. Yet, be that as it may, it doesn’t say anything good about the person, especially because I feel its a clear indication of the inability of taking responsibility. 

As for the second, I think it might actually be an honest response on many occasions. I feel it’s because we’re all hardwired to crave sex (which is one of our biological, evolutionary drives, to reproduce). And when the opportunity presents itself, I feel it takes incredible amounts of self-control and awareness to bypass it if you haven’t had sex for a while (like a year or more), felt love, or just in general, haven’t been happy in your current relationship. And so, as stupid as this excuse sounds, I think it’s a rather valid one in certain and specific times driven by our biochemistry (and innate desire to reproduce, and even the necessity to be loved and feel the warmth).

And yeah, I can’t possibly disagree with the money-problem cheating. And I feel the last two are also very valid. To me, the stupidest of all is the last one. I mean, that just shows you’re a weak person in your very essence.

Again, loved the read. Cheers.

MrBiizy

This thing called volition makes me Marvel alot of the time. God just let us make our choices “good or bad” but he suggests and advises us do choose good. Why do we keep blaming the devil (as for me, he is powerless) or God for our misfortunes. We know evil is evil when we see it but we choose to do evil! For this, I feel discipline, commitment and the fear of God is the way forward.

These reasons you have shared are very common in relationships these days but aren’t valid just as you have said. Being aware of these common excuses and figuring out what should be done to curl them would be very much important to enjoy our relationships or marriages.

Fiona

Thank you for sharing this powerful article about The Lousy Reasons For Cheating In A Relationship, Part Two – Marriage And Relationships. I have not seen or read part one of this teaching. Because of time l have bookmarked your article so that l can go back to read part one and then read part two again. This is so amazing that you took your time to gather this true article of how people commit adultery and blame other people or other things for it.  And as a result of adultery, there are consequences it brings that burden the families. Great post! I will share it with my family and friends as a lot is going on in people’s lives even if they won’t publish it to the world but reading it may help mend what is broken. 

Wishing you all the best!

Afonso Zhu

Varra Hi, a very interesting article, it is. Mostly I think that cheating comes from each individual because each individual is different, not so much from different reasons. There are many people that just can’t live with monogamy for example, and others only have eyes for “the one” and would love that person for good or bad, thick or thin, they are there with you. Thanks a lot for sharing this post, I enjoyed reading it.

Brandon

This is an interesting article and what caught me by surprise was that people actually blame the devil? I have never heard this excuse but of course, I have never been cheated on. In my opinion, if you are unhappy in the relationship, you should get out instead of cheating. It just doesn’t make sense that you should continue living an unhealthy relationship when both parties know they should be separated. Thanks for the eye-opening article.

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