The Reasons Women Are Unmarried In Today’s Environment – Ladies And Relationship
In today’s environment, it’s not a rare phenomenon to see women of all ages, cultures, and races, live without husbands. The reasons for their singleness were partially discussed in the first part of the series with the title, “The Reasons Women Stay Unmarried, Vol. 1”.
But in order to continue with the series, we shall explore more causes of singleness in this article titled, “The reasons women are unmarried in today’s environment – Ladies and Relationship.” On some causes, we made suggestions to help young ladies avoid the experiences explained, and on others where hope was lost, we pointed out the possibility of a better life. That being said, let’s get started with the first reason :
1. Because Of Gender Imbalance
There’s a disparity in population between males and females in some parts of the world due to natural or man-made causes. This disparity means more women but fewer men.
In the Bible, we have a clear instance where the Pharaoh of Egypt tried to retard the growth of the Israelite population by the adoption of a policy that killed any male child at birth but allowed them to live if they were female children (Exodus 1:15-22). At that point in time, logically speaking, the number of women far outnumbered that of the men, and contextually speaking, there were many potential wives for a few husbands.
The same could be said in areas or communities that have suffered from Genocide and ethnic cleansing, like in the 1999 Meja massacre of Albanians male population by the Serbs, and the many undocumented massacres around the world. Their cumulative effect is a disproportionate population growth between men and women in those areas.
In certain regions, the population of males is not even close to that of the females. There are far too many females for fewer males. The consequence is that there will be few or no suitors coming for the ladies because men are naturally limited in numbers in those areas.
However, a solution for having husbands in the affected areas is possible if the women extend their desire and search for husbands beyond the geographical borders and cultural limitations. In this case, they would have to accommodate potential husbands from different cultural climes other than theirs.
The world has become a global village. Therefore, remove the hindrances that can limit you in your search for the partner you desire. Perhaps, you may need to study a second language to communicate better with potential spouses coming from places and cultures other than yours. If that is the case, it’s worthwhile!
2. Because Of Traumatic Sexual Child Abuse
Ladies who are sexually abused as girls when they are growing up can develop a phobia for sex with the male gender. A phobia is an extreme or irrational fear of something or aversion to something. These girls when they become ladies can develop an aversion to men because of their experience as children.
Some men are pedophiles, do you know that? They are sexually attracted and interested in children. The worst is raping a child and what it leaves behind.
There are some ladies who were victims of a repeated act of incest by elderly members of their families– the father, brother, uncle or some trusted elderly male figure–who grew up to hate men and anything that has to do with men.
Abuse of children can have a lifelong effect. Girls who were repeatedly sexually assaulted avoid male gender closeness because of the indelible emotional and psychological traumas their past left behind. As they grow with this stigma, some develop a kind of defense mechanism in dealing with the male gender.
The trauma of sexual abuse or violence could make girls see men differently and detest being with one as a husband, and hence they stay unmarried.
3. Because They Don’t Want To Raise A Family
For reasons best known to them, some single ladies categorically don’t want to raise children in their lives, whether biological or adopted ones. Because of this, they don’t need a man to be in their lives. With no desire for a man, there will be no desire for marriage and hence no husband.
In some remote cases though, they may want a man (for intimacy) but not for the children. And they would never be committed to the relationship. Some have medically blocked their ability for childbearing to avert surprises.
They may want to enjoy the intimacy and feel loved but don’t want the responsibility and aftermath of their relationships. The advocates of such ideology can be kept singles for a long time without committed husbands, or should I say without committing themselves to any husband.
4. Because They Are Afraid It Will Fail
Are you surprised to hear that someone refuses to marry because she’s afraid the marriage would fail? Well, you are not alone! It surprises me too. How on earth should one think like that? Are we not positive as we look forward to life?
Anyway, it is right to say that we attract the things we think about consistently. If you want good, think about the good things always and if you want bad things, it’s easy. Think about evil things always. What you think is what you get. Yes, that’s the Bible right there! It says as a man thinks so is he (Proverbs 23:7).
A man’s life is what his thoughts make of it. If you keep talking about fear, you attract fear, and fear is a spirit and not just an abstract concept or object. It can really destroy one’s life. The Bible says that God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, of love and of a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7).
If God hasn’t given us fear, where does it come from? From the devil. Yes, the devil is the author of fear and he torments people with it. Stop thinking that your marriage would fail and face your fears immediately. It won’t fail. That’s a lie designed to keep you single for life. Be positive! Stay positive! Stay in the word of God! It’s the report of God that you should believe. And God’s report says to FEAR NOT!! (Isaiah 41:10 ).
5. Because They Are Unavailable For Marriage
Some ladies are just not available in the dating business or for marriage generally. You just can’t find them. They make themselves unsearchable, unfindable and unreachable.
When she doesn’t make herself available, findable, responsive, who goes for her? Nobody! Particularly not because men don’t want her but because they don’t see her at all. She is the kind who hides in her own world or space and lets time pass her by.
Come out of your closet if you need a husband. There is a man for you who would love you for who you are. But you have to make yourself searchable, findable, approachable, and available. Your man would surely meet you.
6. Because They Are Prostitutes
Some prostitutes “Marry” and some don’t. A prostitute is a person, in particular, a woman, who engages in sexual activity for payment. It can be known by so many names whether sex worker, call-girl, harlot, etc., but unlike the others, these do it as a profession whether legal or illegal. By profession, I mean, they ask for money before they get down to business.
A lot of men don’t find Ladies who ask money for sex appealing for permanent relationships or as wife materials. Because of their profession, most turn to be unmarried.
However, the good news is that hope is not lost. Some of these ladies can change. In fact, some are happily married now because they changed their way of life. Therefore, there’s hope. And Jesus Christ is the hope (1 Timothy 1:1). He is the hope of glory (Colossians 1:27), the one who forgives sins (Ephesians 1:7; Isaiah 1:18; John 3:16 ), and the unchangeable changer (Hebrews 13:8; James 1:17). He can change the life of a prostitute to that of a decent woman.
Do you remember the historical records of the Bible with a woman called Rehab who was a prostitute but opened her heart to God and became a heroine and numbered in the lineage of Jesus Christ (Matthew 1:5; Joshua 2)?
What about the Jewish prostitute by the well that met with Jesus and became an evangelist (John 4:4–26)? These were not decent women but Jesus made them clean and reputable women of all time. The reason I mention this is not to shame anyone but to raise hope for anyone who thinks that being a prostitute is the end of the road. That their lives have no identity. No, it’s a lie. It can change! Jesus can make it new again! If you want to give your life to Jesus now, click here.
In conclusion, we’ve said that Ladies who are prostitutes, who are not available for marriage, who are consecrated for Godly service, who have sexually traumatic pasts, who don’t wanna raise children and who are from regions affected by gender imbalance, are likely to stay unmarried. Do you have any other points you think could lead a lady to being single? Let’s know in the comment box below!
For more on this teaching, click here.
Adapted teaching by Rev PC Akubueze used under permission for
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