10 Simple Acts To Save Your Marriage From Total Collapse
A marital relationship fails when a couple has exhausted all avenues to find a solution to their irreconcilable differences. This is not limited to non-christian couples only. Even Christian couples do experience marital failures.
Marriage is a beautiful union. It is like Christ and the church relationship (Eph 5:33). Marriage is a partnership/friendship meant to be enjoyed not endured. Marriage is a work so it requires effort for it to work. Failure to do so could mean our marriage is headed down the failure department.
As demonstrated by the bible, divorce isn’t desirable that is why all efforts are made for couples to stay together or get reconciled when they at any time have separated (1 Cor 7:10-11).
Below are the 10 Simple Acts To Save Your Marriage From Total Collapse.
Prayer is fundamental to maintaining your marriage. It is important to put God, the originator of the marriage union first in your relationship and expect Him to intervene in our circumstances spiritually. Pray for your partner and marriage if you want to see wonderful results. Ask God to heal your marriage, bring you reconciliation and restore your love. Don’t be discouraged when it seems your prayers aren’t answered. When you don’t see immediate results, remember God’s timing is different from ours (Psalm 27:14).
2. Resist the enemy:
The enemy here is Satan. Remember how He attacked the first marriage in the garden of Eden, He still does so today. He delights in the destruction of God’s people including marriages and families. He manipulates you to see your partner as the enemy whereas, He and His agents of evil forces are the real enemies. Jesus described Him as a “thief who comes only to steal and to kill and destroy” (Jn 10:10).
It is important believers take these warnings of His existence seriously so we don’t fall victim to Him (2 Cor 2:11, 2 Cor 11:13). It is important to discipline one’s mind from being attacked by the enemy from following Christ. We should be alert at all times to deal with Him and call on God for help (James 4:7).
3. Change yourself, not your partner:
One of the major problems of marital failures is trying to change the other person forgetting we are from different backgrounds. One thing is certain, you can’t change another person but yourself. Trying to change the other creates tension which discourages them from changing and even if they do, it wouldn’t feel good until you do the same. Decide what changes that needed to be made in your life, and what you can do to change those patterns to become a better partner (Matt 7:3-4, 1 Cor 10:13, Rom 8:28).
4. Seek support:
Seeking support from the Christian community is very important. Without their instructions, guidance, encouragement, and accountability a Christian marriage is bound to suffer. Draw support from the married ones among them to help you restore your relationship. Ask them for prayer and mentorship on how to reconcile with your partner. Be open and honest during Christian counseling to help you restore your marriage. Seek help from family and friends in your reconciliation journey but be mindful of what you share about your partner so you don’t end up dishonoring your spouse.
5. Rekindle trust:
Trust is essential in building an intimate relationship between husband and wife. Once destroyed, it takes a long time to build which is why it should be cultivated and nurtured. Trust is the foundation love is built. Trust is the key to building a strong relationship and you need the key to restore your marriage.
It is common to lose hope in a marital crisis having been disappointed by a spouse and one believes there’s no possible way to repair the relationship and that it will be difficult to trust again even if they stay together. This can be a great threat to reconciliation and healing but with God trust can be restored. Trusting God is the most important factor in how a couple recovers. We must be willing to depart from our sins, confess them to God and ask for forgiveness and we will begin to develop trust in our partner again (Psalm 112:7-8).
6. Take responsibility:
In a failed relationship, one partner is almost never entirely at fault. Sometimes, it is the action of one partner that impacts the marriage e.g, having an affair or breaking of trust. In other cases, it could be having high unrealistic expectations of marriage. You need to understand how your excessive expectations impacted every situation in your marriage that led to the breakdown. Make a compromise with your spouse, state your wrong and how you are aware of your improper actions. Admitting your mistakes is very important if reconciliation is to take place.
Lack of communication is detrimental to a relationship. When a couple stops communicating and expressing themselves, it weakens their bond and the relationship starts losing strength. Lack of communication is a pointer to a failing marriage. At this point, you must strengthen your relationship by communicating more so as not to drive a wedge between you and your partner.
8. Show gratitude:
When a couple is struggling, it can be difficult to find anything to be thankful for. You can start with small compliments such as “thanks for this and that”. It goes a long way for your partner. When you do it daily it helps restore bonds of love and trust in your relationship. The more the habit of showing gratitude each day, the easier it is to find things to be thankful for (Eph 5:20).
9. Reignite your love:
Couples who intend to mend a broken marriage must rekindle their love for each other. It is sad thinking about how you were madly in love with your partner at the beginning and how damaged your relationship has been. Both of you need to go back in time and think about how you first met and fell in love. Think about what made you fall in love with each other. Reminiscing about those good times can ignite the love spark and heal your relationship.
You have to let go of whatever grudge you have towards your partner for reconciliation to take place no matter what your partner has done. This means completely letting go of whatever resentments you have towards your spouse with unconditional love. The kind of forgiveness recorded in Col 3:13.
A successful marriage takes a lot to sustain. There’s definitely hope for your marriage. Even when quitting seems the easiest way forward, try to work on reconciliation because God clearly hates divorce (Malachi 2:16). It is never too late to have that desired marriage, but when it involves physical or emotional abuse, then it is better to quit for one’s safety.
Written for Smartcouples.net. Copyright 2022. All rights reserved.