9 Types Of Point Of View That Improve Dialogue In Marriage
INTRODUCTION
In any relationship, dialogue is of great importance. Whether it’s business, career, ministry, or even in marriage, dialogue holds a very important place and it determines what will become of such relationships. As Christians, we understand the importance of communicating with God and the other way around. If dialogue isn’t important, God wouldn’t see the need to speak to us when necessary or after we have communed with Him. Therefore, for any relationship to be healthy, there must exist a quality and effective dialogue in-between.
Any relationship with zero dialogue percentage will have a weak output or performance. Practically, let’s consider this, if someone who calls himself/herself a Christian fails to communicate with God for a whole week, this simply means that such person had already created a gap between himself/herself and God. Dialogue can reveal how close the people who are in a relationship are to one another. However, if husbands and wives fail to communicate, a lot can as well be affected in their homes.
Dialogue by definition simply refers to a form of communication or conversation which takes place between two or more persons. A relationship, on the other hand, refers to a kind of connection that exists between two or more persons which brings them into an agreement on a certain goal.
Relationship dialogue, therefore, can be defined as a process of reciprocating reasoning and agreement which takes place between two persons bonded by a common goal, through the aid of quality communication. The purpose of dialogue in marriages is to enhance the quality of the relationship and ensure a healthy, peaceful home environment. Therefore, embracing the 9 Types Of Point Of View That Improve Dialogue In Marriage is a must to achieve this purpose. That being said, let’s consider these points of view respectively!
1. THE SPIRITUAL POINT OF VIEW
You must have heard it often that couples that commune with God together are always united and sticks together more often than not. There is no magic in this when couples find it very easy to pray together 1 Thessalonians 5:18, worship God together, dance before God together, study God’s word together, and are constantly vibrant in the things of God. Most especially when their prayer altar in the family is still on fire and alive, it’s always easy for them to spend quality time together.
Marriage is HARD WORK! Yeah! You need the presence of God in your home, and you two have work to do as well! God’s blessing and input from the couples make the marriage a success.
The presence of God brings joy, comfort, and peace that passes all understanding. During the process of fellowshipping with God, couples dialogue with God, and they uniformly table their needs before God. This single act takes away barriers to effective communication and in turn, it enhances dialogue and makes it easy for them to communicate their needs to one another. Evidently, the beauty of God will be in such a home.
2. THE SEXUAL POINT OF VIEW
In Marriage, love-making is a necessity. Couples whose sexual life is active find it easy to dialogue. If either of the couples fails to do it out of love or regularly turns down his/her partner’s request for sex, it creates a gap between them as the person who is turned down will or may angrily reject any discussion brought to him/her.
Love-making creates an avenue for couples to bond. During love-making, couples dialogue, that moment, you hear a man telling his wife how much he loves her. For the home to continually be healthy, and for dialogue to be effective, as couples, see your partner’s sexual need as yours and comply when he/she requests for it and you have enough strength to do so. Sex is a powerful force, it’s useful in the home and it enhances not only dialogue but love as well 1 Corinthians 7:5.
3. THE ROMANTIC AND GIVING POINT OF VIEW
Spending quality time with your spouse will help in enhancing the dialogue between the two of you. Spark up the romance in your marriage by clinging together often and sparing enough time for both of you to connect. Present gifts to your spouse, take each other out to the cinema, eatery, go out on dinner dates, or better still, places where you both will be alone and enjoy the moment together without distractions. It’s good to take your children out as well but you both also need to go out and have a nice time together. It will help you reflect, discuss and further communicate what you want in your home John 15:12, 1 John 4:16.
4. THE RESPECT AND LOVE POINT OF VIEW
Biblically speaking, as women, you are expected to respect your husbands while as men, you are expected to love your wife as in Ephesians 5:33. When having conversations together, the wife is expected to either speak or listen to her husband respectively while the husband is also expected to either speak or listen in a loving manner.
A man that is respected by his wife will always be eager to dialogue with his wife. He will tell her his plans, his challenges, his wins, and seek his wife’s opinion on any issue. The same goes for the woman. A woman that’s shown love, gives her attention easily and will go to any length to do anything that will make her home peaceful.
5. THE SACRIFICE POINT OF VIEW
Husbands and Wives must be willing to sacrifice for their home. Their time, resources, energy, and lots more. You should be willing to sacrifice what it takes for God’s purpose and desire for your home to become achievable. You can communicate love by giving your partner enough time, you can communicate sacrifice by providing needed resources in the home. Not all dialogues are verbal, you can speak by your actions.
Love is not just mere words, they are actions taken to prove we truly love. Therefore, dialogue with your spouse through sacrifice by working together as a team and thereby making your home a beautiful place. Colossians 3:23-24 talks about the reward we get when we serve God, so also, when we sacrifice for our home to be peaceful, we get rewarded by God.
6. THE TRANSPARENT POINT OF VIEW
What do you think I mean by being transparent? Be open! Yes! Should there be anything you should hide from your spouse? No! (Genesis 31:19-35). Tell your spouse all he/she needs to know, and never keep secrets because it will eventually affect your home. By being transparent and open to your spouse, you both will communicate easily and find it easy to discuss anything. Keeping secrets places burdens in your mind and makes you not feel free when relating with your spouse. Consequently, it will greatly affect your communication in the home as all will be done with a double mind.
7. THE DISPUTE RESOLVING POINT OF VIEW
In Marriage, Couples must learn to resolve issues before they escalate into what will be beyond their control. A lot of marriages are scattered as a result of trivial issues that couples found hard to resolve. There will be misunderstandings between couples, and differences also, but you must understand that sanity in your marriage is far better than proving a point. Resolve issues immediately, it shouldn’t exceed that day. You both should embrace decorum and allow peace to reign (Matthew 18:15-16, 1 Peter 3:8-11). A peaceful family reflects a home that is not void of quality communication.
8. THE COMPREHENDING POINT OF VIEW
Your spouse needs to be communicated in a way that he/she understands and will quite comprehend. There are diverse ways through which you can communicate with your spouse and they will understand you perfectly. You can communicate through verbal expressions, which are good spoken words Ephesians 4:29-32, through gestures, facial expressions, your hand touches, your legs, and so on. You both should communicate with love and respect for each other, and speak all that’s in your mind so your spouse wouldn’t assume you are saying one thing while you mean another or you are hiding something.
9. THE EXPRESSIVE POINT OF VIEW
If my Husband can’t express his anger or tell me what I did wrong, then he doesn’t love me! God expresses His displeasure whenever we sin against Him because He loves us (Psalms 2:5, 6:1). Be expressive, tell your spouse what you don’t like that he/she does, express your disapproval, your dislikes, pains, bitterness, disappointments, and anything that you feel will create a gap between you and your spouse (Ephesians 4:31-32, Proverbs 15:1, Matthew 18:15; 5:9).
Ensure you express them in a manner that your spouse will feel sorry for and not in a way that they will feel disrespected. Expressing your feelings helps your partner understand you better, know you better, and the best way he/she can communicate with you.
CONCLUSION
Marriage is the first God-given human ministry (Genesis 2:21-24, Matthew 19:4-6, Hebrews 13:4). It comes before your spiritual ministry, your career, and your business. The best gift you can give yourself is to ensure you make your marriage work because if your marriage doesn’t work, it will not only affect your home, but will also affect your ministry, your business, your career, and your relationship with God.
It takes the collective effort of both man and a woman coupled with the help of God for a marriage to be regarded as a success. If you bully your spouse, you are tampering with your peace. If you emotionally, verbally, and violently abuse them, you are tampering with God’s plan and purpose.
A breach in dialogue or the lack of effective dialogue in marriage is the foundation for most of the issues that marriages are facing in society today. Since we know this fact to be real and even threatening, we can choose to embrace The “9 Types Of Point Of View That Improve Dialogue In Marriage” in order to rekindle our connection with our spouses and give our union or marriage all it takes to work!
