How To Be A Supportive Spouse

How To Spiritually Grow With Your Spouse – Marriage And Coaching



How To Spiritually Grow With Your Spouse – Marriage And Coaching

How To spiritually grow with your spouse is not about wearing the same clothes or hairstyles to church. It’s more and far deeper than that.

How To Spiritually Grow With Your Spouse - Marriage And CoachingThere’s a difference in engagement between the spiritual and other walks of life. Although we can partially or fully depend on others in different professions, we can’t do so spiritually. In spiritual things, what is yours is yours and can only be credited to your account in heaven or on earth. This is why it is imperative to know how to grow spiritually with your spouse.

The Start Of The Relationship Matters

You see, some couples met when none of them knew that Lord and some met when all of them knew God. Another set of couples met at a time when just one of them was walking with God. In the course of marital relationship, however, some who knew God, fell out of fellowship with Him because of relationship issues, while others came closer to God at such difficult moments. Even some couples can be divided over submitting to God or to something else in difficult moments, leaving one seeking God and the other not.

These differences exist because couples do not grow together spiritually. And how to spiritually grow with your spouse is the main subject that we are going to talk about today. This article would add more understanding to what you couples have already learned in Part one and Part two of the series. Please, if you have not read the other parts of this series, click here or here.

For couples to grow spiritually together, they should do the followings:

1. Couples Should Study The Bible Together

How To Spiritually Grow With Your Spouse - Marriage And CoachingThis is just what it is. Couples should read the Bible or should I say have Bible studies together. It blesses the couples to see them reading chapters and stories of the Bible all at the same moment where they can set learning goals to discuss at the end of each session.

Bible study is a personal thing and a collective thing as well. While each has their special moments whenever they like, and wherever they choose to, there should be the moment when both the husband and wife alone come together just to study the word of God. We call that in biblical parlance, “Fellowship.” Or in biblical phraseology, “having fellowship with the word of God.” This exercise helps couples grow together spiritually.

2. Couples Should Obey The Word Of God Together

This automatically follows the point above. You can only obey the word when you know the word. Bible study helps couples to obey what they have studied. Bible study doesn’t exonerate any Christian from obedience to the word of God. It rather facilitates the obedience of the word.

Because you read the Bible doesn’t make you do anyhow. It’s not a license to spiritual stubbornness. There are some people who know the Bible but not the God of the Bible. They can even have degrees in the word but with no submission to God’s word. Your academic degrees or spiritual position does not exempt you from the obedience of the word of God.

How To Spiritually Grow With Your Spouse - Marriage And CoachingThis might come as an eye-opener to couples and families that the fact that they read the Bible at home is no guarantee that they will receive the blessings thereof without obeying what the Bible says. It’s not the listeners and readers who are blessed by God, but those who are doers of the word (James 1:22-25; Matthew 21:28–32). Doers are ‘obeyers’ or obedience Bible readers. These are those who receive the blessings promised in what they read in the Bible. Therefore, if you study the word together, obey the word together as couples. Obey what you’ve studied in the word.

Encourage Each Other  Unto Obedience

How To Spiritually Grow With Your Spouse - Marriage And CoachingWhile this obedience is personal and collective, couples should make efforts to encourage the other to obey the Lord’s word because of its immediate benefits that only strengthen the bond of the union. In other words, obeying the word means no fornication, no adultery, no hatred, no slander, no fighting, no quarreling, and no fist of rage to mention but a few. Now, just imagine a marriage whose lifespan is filled with these examples! Wouldn’t that be a blissful marriage? What more can couples ask for?!

3. Couples Should Have A Same Marital Adviser

At times for some couples, there exists a person who could counsel them and hold them accountable in their marriage. Such a person could be a source of growth to the couples spiritually and Psychologically. But they must put in the effort, I mean a collective effort, to access such individuals together as a couple. Not one without the other. This is not a Godless Professional without any knowledge of Scripture. There are a lot of Christian and God-fearing professionals who do counsel and help with psychological issues to choose from.

Also, there are people who you can trust in the Lord like Marital godfathers and godmothers who stand by your marriage from inception.

Advisers can also be elders in the Lord of a different Church who have a reputation for helping marriages grow over time. These individuals are part of the support system of the house of God in the department of marriage. Make use of them if you can.

4. Couples Should Go To Spiritual Meetings Together

Spiritual meetings are the teachings held from time to time at different locations, geographically, in order to build up the general body of Christ. Unlike the Church, this comes once in a while and can be a great source of spiritual growth to the couples. It may not be organized by your Church but that’s okay, you can attend it because it’s open for all people, including Christians from different Church backgrounds and beliefs. It’s usually an interfaith meeting. So go there with your spouse, not alone. Go as a couple. That would help ease a lot of issues that you could have struggled with handling alone. It helps deal with marital confusion too.

5. Couples Should Share And Support Each Other’s Vision

We cannot talk about all and forget this crucial part of the article. Partners have dreams or visions; projects or goals to reach whether short or long term. And sharing the dreams and goals with your spouse is a very understandable means of bonding and helpful means of time management too. If you don’t share your dreams, your partner would not know about it and, consequently, may not know how to help you provide that environment conducive for fulfilling your dreams and vision or whatever. Share your vision with your spouse.

We have talked about this in detail in the article titled, “Understanding shared visions in marriage and its advantages”. You would do very well as a couple to read through it. Please click here to read!

Now, tell me what you have learned after going through how to grow spiritually with your spouse – marriage, and coaching? Leave your comments below.
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About the author

A music journalist, writer, and member of a great team of Relationship Experts. Carlos also serves as the site administrator.
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Thank you for your interesting points. I am 100% sure that couples should grow together. On every level, spiritual level being one of them, but not just the only one. Because if one of them is starting to earn much more as at the beginning of the relationship, that could cause issues later on as well( mainly if woman is the one, many men would be feeling their ego hurts).

What I think is that growth of couple is very important for the durability, consistency and happiness of that particular relationship. But growth also can be Spiritual, financial, social, moral,…

If you are not growing together, sooner or later you are going to break up…SAD, but it is like that. T

Thank you for sharing your advice with us.


Hello Carlo, 

I have to say, you make some really interesting and compelling points. There are definitely clear differences between the spiritual life and other areas of life. That brings into perspective, the idea that the spiritual journey is one in which everyone travels for the enrichment of their soul and not for anyone else. Still, with the guides outlined here, it is certainly possible for couples to grow together spiritually. Thanks for sharing 


Hello Carlo, many homes are broken today, some homes do not have peace, some home do not move forward because they lack these things you have shared. Just as a man can inherit his father’s property but cannot inherit his certificates, that’s how it is spiritually. We can not inherit each other’s holiness and righteous living; here comes the need of growing together spiritually. Thanks for the useful tips. One thing I have observed is that couples do not have the same adviser, this is really bad and can divide the home physically and spiritually.


For more than 10 years of marriage, one thing I have learnt is the need for couples to pray together, study the word together and like you rightly identified, couples should attend spiritual meetings together. A family that prays together stays together, engaging spiritual battles together helps us strengthens each other – iron sharpens iron

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